SGA Ficlet Challenges
by MacGateFan
Summary: This is a collection of Atlantis ficlets I wrote for the LJ comm, ShepsAtlantis. We're on season 5.
1. Rising

Title: Revenge  
Rating: PG (violence)  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine!  
Notes: This was for the weekend challenge for the LJ comm, ShepsAtlantis

* * *

"Major, I'd like you to go along."

"Yes, Ma'am," Sheppard replied, following Colonel Sumner down the stairs.

Sumner stopped as soon as Sheppard was behind him. "Let's get one thing straight, Major, You will follow any orders I give. If you put one toe out of line…"

"Understood, Sir!"

Sheppard sighed as the Colonel turned away. This was going to be a long expedition. He had lost track of Sumner and was abruptly pulled into a corner. He felt a fist slam into his stomach and fell to the floor.

Whoever it was had a friend who didn't think Sheppard needed to see his attacker and held his head down as he spoke. "Sheppard, Holland was like a brother to me and the fact that you're here and he's not makes me realize what a coward you really are. You're just lucky Dr. Weir likes you."

A pause and then another punch, this time his face received the blow.

"Or maybe Weir's paying you in other ways," the voice said with a sneer.

Okay, that really pissed him off and Sheppard was able to break free and look into the face of the man before him. "Bates."

"Sergeant Bates, they're dialing the 'Gate now, let's go!"

"Yes, Sir!" Bates replied. "This isn't over yet, Sheppard."

Sheppard sighed, wiping the blood from the cut on his lip. "Coming out here was a great idea, Shep," he muttered.

* * *

After the celebration and two glasses of champagne, Sheppard thought it was best to turn in. He was exhausted (not that he would ever admit it to anyone) and just wanted to sleep for five days.

He had just turned the corner when he saw someone blocking his way. "Sergeant Michelson," he said with a nod. The man didn't budge. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Before Sheppard knew what was happening, Michelson had slammed him against the wall. He felt his head hit hard and saw stars. He now knew what cartoon characters felt like. Sheppard tried; with every ounce of strength he had left, to kick the sergeant.

After four futile attempts and two more head bangs against the wall, John hit the payload. He grinned in satisfaction as Michelson dropped to the floor, clutching at his groin. Sheppard gingerly stood up and headed back in the direction he came, calling Lieutenant Ford on the way.

Dr. Weir was heading to her quarters when her battered and bruised second in command came into view. "Major!" she cried, catching him as his knees gave out. "We need a medical team in the main hallway near the Gateroom!

"D'tor Weir?"

She nodded. "It's me. Don't worry; we'll get you safely into the infirmary."

Her heart leapt into her throat when he lost consciousness. She looked around for any trauma and was shocked to feel wetness on her hand. Moving it from back of his head, she saw it was stained with blood.

"Carson, hurry!"

Dr. Weir was relieved that they didn't have to wait long. That's a good thing when dealing with what could possibly go wrong. Case and point lying next to her on the floor.

Beckett immediately knelt beside her, checking Sheppard's vitals. "Can you tell me what you know, Love?"

"I…" She blinked, looking up at the physician. "I was heading to my quarters when I saw him. I rushed to catch him and then he lost consciousness. He hasn't been out of it for more than seven minutes."

"Get that gurney over here!" Beckett exclaimed. "I'll take good care of him, I promise. I need you to find out what happened. Can you do that?"

Dr. Weir was about to respond when a very angry Ford arrived followed closely by three Marines. Two were guarding the larger one in the middle, who had a scowl on his face. "Lieutenant?" she asked.

"Ma'am, this is Sergeant Michelson. He attacked Major Sheppard."

She had never known true hatred until that moment. How could anyone do that to another human being was beyond her. "Tell Dr. Beckett exactly what happened," Dr. Weir ground out.

"I slammed him against the wall a couple of times." The man said with a shrug, "I can't help it the guys weak. He's the reason Colonel Sumner's dead. He was too chicken to save him. No, he was probably eyeing the position Colonel Sumner had."

Ford was a little freaked out by Dr. Weir's expression. In fact, he had never seen anyone's face get so red. "Get him out of here, Lieutenant! I believe Dr. McKay found a brig, we'll keep him there for the time being."

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied.

Ford glanced at Sheppard as he was placed on the gurney. "We'll keep you posted, Lieutenant," Dr. Weir told him. He nodded and led the Marine away.

And all Dr. Weir wanted to do was scream.

* * *

John Sheppard hated concussions and he definitely had one, he could tell. Upon opening his eyes, he saw blurry versions of Dr. Beckett, Dr. Weir, McKay, Teyla, and Ford. "Hey," he tried, but nothing came out so he tried again, "Hey!"

Beckett turned around with a grin. "Oh, thank God, Major! You had us worried there for a bit, son."

"How long?"

"Three days," Elizabeth said.

Sheppard couldn't believe his ears. Three days! He spent his first three official days on Atlantis asleep? Jack O'Neill would be pissed at him.

He was snapped from his thoughts by Beckett fiddling with his IV. "Major, now that you're awake, we can assess your injury a little easier. We ran an MRI while you were unconscious and I'd like to do that again."

"Okay," Sheppard replied, still out of it.

Beckett sighed in relief as he looked at the MRI scans. "Well, Major, I can safely say the subdural hematoma is completely gone. You're going to be a might tired for the next few days, but as long as you stay in bed, you should be just fine."

"In bed? How long?" John asked.

"Major."

"Just wondering."

"Ah, Major Sheppard!" McKay exclaimed. "Just the person I wanted to see."

"Rodney…" Beckett warned.

"I won't be long, I promise! You can work your voodoo magic over long distances anyway, right?"

Sheppard swore he heard Beckett muttering something about "cheeky little buggers".

"What did you need, McKay?"

"I found this personal shield thing," he explained. "I'm going to do a little research on it, but if I'm right, this thing could be a valuable asset to us."

"That's fine; let me know when you're ready to have me test it."

McKay nodded. "Yes, yes, of course. Hmm… I have to ask Carson…"

Sheppard was glad when McKay was out of earshot. The man was nice enough but the long winded explanations that went with him were hell on your head and he already had enough trauma on his!


	2. Hide and Seek Tag

Title: Invulnerable  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, none of them belong to me unfortunately.  
Notes: This was for the weekend challenge at the LJ comm, ShepsAtlantis.

* * *

"Sheppard!"

I turned to face the scientist, slightly annoyed. After all, I was busy trying to assign quarters to the expedition team. "What is it, McKay?"

"This!" He exclaimed, pointing at a small device that seemed to be attached to his chest. "It's a personal shield."

I stared at him. I thought he would be smarter than to put a piece of alien technology on him without checking into it first. Although… a personal shield just might come in handy in our fight against the Wraith.

I should probably keep an eye on him. Glancing to the left, I saw that Ford and Bates seemed to have everything under control. "Be right back," I told them.

"This is amazing! I want you to test it."

"Wait, McKay, did there happen to be any notes about this shield?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, "I already looked at them."

I remember that statement. I used to say it when I was in high school. 'Sure, Mom, I looked at my notes for my biology exam.' I'm just lucky I retain things well.

"Okay, I want you to try and hit me."

I blinked. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Okay…" I said. The minute my hand came in contact with his face or the shield rather, I cried out in pain. I could hear Rodney laughing as I bounced around. "Damn it, McKay!"

"I told you it was a shield. And you didn't have to try and hit me so hard."

I glared at him, holding my throbbing hand. Suddenly I had an idea. "You're sure this thing will protect you from anything?"

"As far as I can tell, why? Do you have an idea?" I pulled my 9mil from the holster and McKay's eyes widened. For a second, I thought he was going to chicken out.

"All right, let's do it!"

"We should probably go somewhere that's less populated," I suggested. I wouldn't want anyone to get hit by a stray bullet bouncing off this shield.

When we were far enough from the rest of the expedition, I glanced at him. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," he squeaked.

He looked scared shitless, but it was now or never so I aimed at his right leg and fired. I had to duck to avoid being hit by the bullet. It landed harmlessly a few feet away and for a minute; McKay and I just stared at it.

"Oh my God, that was awesome!" McKay exclaimed.

I grinned. "Definitely! What else should we try?"

McKay was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then snapped his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the direction of the Gateroom.

"Okay, first let go. Secondly, what do you have in mind?"

"Ever push anyone off a balcony?" he asked mischievously.


	3. 38 Minutes Tag

Title: Thank You  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Characters: John and Rodney, Friendship, Gen  
Notes: For the weekend challenge in ShepsAtlantis on LJ

* * *

I opened my eye a crack to see Rodney pacing back and forth in front of me. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Rodney at me with blood shot eyes. I've seen him sleep deprived, but this seemed more serious. "I couldn't sleep."

"I can tell. Now I can't, so what's up?"

He took a deep breath and pulled up a chair next to the bed. "I swear, if what I'm about to say ever gets out..."

"Rodney, just talk."

"You're a great friend." Rodney began, "I've never had any friends. I know what you're thinking, 'The geek likes me, I'm so privileged', whatever. It's not so much that I like you, it's the fact that you like me..." Rodney paused. "You do like me, don't you?"

I smiled reassuringly at him. "I do, Rodney, even if you are a pain in the ass."

"Nice. Here I am, pouring my heart out and you've got to make comments like that!" Rodney exclaimed, standing up and turning away.

_Oooookay,_ I thought. "Rodney, wait. I'm sorry. Do you want tell me what this is really about?"

He turned to face me again and moved closer. "I was in my room, thinking about how I'd almost lost my first real friend today and it scared me. I just... I just want to say thank you for everything that you've done for me and everything that you're going to do."

"You're welcome, Rodney," I replied, still a little shocked by this tirade. I don't think I have ever seen this side of him and I doubt I will again. "I wanna thank you, too."


	4. Suspicion Tag

Title: Not Officially ClearedRating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: These fine looking male specimens are sadly not owned by me.  
Notes: Written for the ShepsAtlantis LJ Community.

* * *

Sheppard looked around the halls and quickly slipped into his quarters. He silently thanked Beckett and his nurses for putting him in scrubs. A wave of dizziness caught him off guard as he rummaged in a drawer for a change of clothes.

Sheppard took a deep breath as he willed the room to stop spinning. When it finally did, he grabbed a pair of pants and headed to the bathroom. The tingling sensation in his chest still would not go away, but he ignored it for the time being. He had people to save

Towling off and heading back into his quarters, Sheppard almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Beckett standing in front of him, arms crossed. What do you say to a ticked off Scotsman? Sheppard asked himself. Somehow 'hello' didn't seem very wise.

"And just what do you think you are doing Major Sheppard?"

Happy that Beckett spoke first, Sheppard shrugged and pulled on a black t-shirt. "I'm going back up to the control room and then I'm going to bring Teyla and Ford home."

"Son, you just took a blast to the neck and chest with a Wraith stunner. Even though you may feel fine..."

Sheppard cut him off. "I do, Doc."

Beckett glared at him and continued, "I'm worried about the effect it will have on your respiratory and circulatory system."

"Doc, please. I need to be doing something other than sitting on my ass. I just want to go to the control room and check out the situation." _Even go on the rescue mission,_ he thought.

The physician sighed. "Very well, but the minute you start feeling any numbness, or other ill effects, I want you to report to the infirmary."

"I will," Sheppard replied. "Scouts honor."


	5. Childhood's End Tag

Title: Remembering  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: All chracters are property of MGM Studies, The Sci-Fi Channel and others who aren't me.  
Notes: Episode tag for the LJ Community ShepsAtlantis.

* * *

_"Tonight I die."_

Those words echoed in my head. They were the same words he said to me. The last words I ever heard from my brother. He used to say things like that all the time so I didn't think anything of it. I never thought he would really go through with it.

The morning of my high school graduation, my Mom told me to get Kevin. I smiled knowingly at her as my 25 year old brother loved sleeping in. Hell, he even loved pretending to sleep in to get out of any extra weekend chores.

I knocked on his door and called his name before I entered. It took a long time for that vision to disappear from my thoughts. I thought I had conquered it until Karas spoke those words.

Karas wants me to stand witness. Witness to what? He couldn't possibly want me to watch him...

No, I realize, taking a deep breath. He wants me to be there at the Cleansing Ceremony. To be a pillar of strength. I would certainly try, but I couldn't guarantee anything.

I can feel Teyla's eyes on me and I turn to her and smile as reassuringly as I could. I can tell from her expression that she doesn't believe me and that I just might have to talk to her when we get back to Atlantis.

* * *

"Excuse me, Major." 

"Teyla," I replied with a nod as I poked at the food on my tray. I was hungry yet I didn't really want to eat.

"May I join you?"

This time I looked up at her and apologized. "Of course, sorry."

"You seemed very distracted before the Cleansing Ceremony," she said. My she does like getting to the point. "Is everything all right?"

I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to pick up my tray and leave, but I couldn't, that would be rude. Besides, Teyla was definitely becoming one of the closest friends I had in a long time.

"I had a brother, Kevin. I worshipped the ground he walked on. He wasn't like most brothers. I mean, he never picked on me and he was always there to help me out. I don't really know what happened. Sure, my parents speculated, but no one could come up with a good reason."

Teyla nodded for me to continue. I took a deep breath to compose myself, silently wishing we could be anywhere but the crowded mess hall right now. "A few weeks after I turned 18, Kevin shot himself with my Dad's gun. It had to of happened while we were out the night before because we didn't hear it go off."

"They were giving awards out at my school and we got home late so my parents and I just assumed he was in bed sleeping. I went to get him up the next morning and I found him, blood splattered all over the white sheets Mom had just washed the day before."

I stopped there, staring at the plate of spaghetti and meatballs. Not a good thing to have sitting in front of me right now. Teyla seemed to notice my distress and quickly whisked the tray away from me.

"Major," she said softly. I finally looked up at her. "Come with me."

I pretty much let her lead me through the halls of Atlantis. Turning to the right and entering a room, I finally blinked and noticed that we were in her quarters. She told me to sit on her bed and I did so, wondering what was going on.

I silently watched as she lit a few candles and hoped she wasn't planning on having me meditate. I must have really been out of it because suddenly she was handing me a cup of tea.

"What's this for?"

"Drink, John. Today we honor your brother."

I drink the hot tea and felt immediately relaxed. Closing my eyes, I washed away the visions before me. Today I honor Kevin and today I start remembering the good memories.


	6. Poisoning the Well Tag

Title: To Perna  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine. :(

* * *

Sheppard looked both ways before rushing towards the infirmary doors. If anyone caught him (specifically a very smart astrophysicist), he would want to join him and right now he was on a solo mission.

Carson Beckett was exactly where that cute little nurse said he'd be. _He was going to have to thank her later,_ he thought as he opened the balcony door. Beckett didn't move to acknowledge him.

Sheppard poured something into a glass and handed it to his friend. "I hear Scotch can cure most anything."

Beckett accepted the glass. "If only that were true," he replied.

"Doc, before we drink I'd like to take this opportunity to say a few words."

"Certainly, Major," Beckett said, wondering where Sheppard was going with this.

"We both did some things we're not proud of the last few days. We've also lost a lot in regards to Hoff. We lost potential allies and friends, but most of all, we lost a very strong and determined woman. One that will never be forgotten." Sheppard raised his glass. "To Perna."

Beckett smiled, raising his glass as well. "To Perna."


	7. Underground Tag

Title: Friends Now Enemies  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: They aren't mine.

After the debreifing, I followed Teyla. She was quiet on the Jumper ride back to Atlantis and hasn't said much of anything since then. I know she's hurting. I can tell. I've had plenty of people who I trusted only to learn they had lied to me from the beginning.

I can't help but feel a little responsible for this, but I know I'm not. The Genii did this to themselves. They lost a great ally and tradeing partner in Teyla's people. I can only imagine how this revelation is going to settle with the Athosians.

Teyla finally stopped at the door to her quarters and turned to face me. "Major? Is there something you needed?"

"I'm checking on you," I told her.

"I assure you, I am fine," Teyla replied, with a fake smile.

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "I know you better than that, Teyla. What happened with the Genii hurt you more than you're letting on. Let me help you."

She nodded with a smile. "Thank you, John, but I need some time alone right now to meditate on things. May I seek you out later this evening?"

"You know where to find me,"I replied, heading down the hall.

"I do."


	8. Home Tag

Title: Wrong  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Characters: John  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

I knew something was wrong the minute I stepped through the 'Gate back to Earth. Teyla obviously didn't note anything, but she didn't have any comparison. I decided to leave it alone for the moment thinking that maybe I'd been gone too long and that's just what felt wrong.

No, the feeling didn't go away and I'm currently standing in the bachelor pad I always dreamed of having complete with the Johnny Cash poster I thought I had taken with me to Atlantis. I didn't want to alert Teyla just yet so I pretended everything was all right. I handed her a beer and watched as she drank.

About a half hour later, the doorbell rang. I was a little confused because I hadn't contacted anyone. Once I opened that door, I knew I wasn't in Kansas anymore. There they stood, friends who have been dead for years, before me alive and kicking.

Mitch and Dex.

Even though I knew something was definitely wrong, I let them in. I had to. I had to see them and hear them and talk to them even if it was fake.

But after Ford arrived (where the hell did he come from because I don't remember him going through the 'Gate with me and Teyla) and Mitch and Dex kept talking about the mission we narrowly escaped from, I snapped.

Hey, when you see friends of yours who were killed in action breathing and talking, tell me what you would do!

I grabbed someone's gun (have no idea who that was) and pointed it at Dex. I don't care if everyone thought I was crazy, I know I wasn't crazy. I fired off a shot and Dex went down to the floor, screaming at me.

And suddenly we were back in the Gateroom with General Hammond. Ford, Rodney, and Dr. Weir were there too. What the hell is going on?


	9. The Storm The Eye Tag

Title: Sick  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, they're not mine unfortunately...

* * *

After the conversation with Rodney and Elizabeth regarding vacations, I headed down to my quarters. I wanted sleep and I wanted to be sure I wasn't going be disturbed for at least a week. As I turned the corner, I nearly ran into Ford.

"Sorry, Sir," he said.

"Not a problem, Lieutenant," I replied.

Ford eyes me curiously. "Are you all right, Sir?"

"Just fine. Carry on!"

I walk away before he could say anything more. Come to think of it, my throat is bothering me and I feel like I'm about to cough up a lung. I resist the urge long enough to get to my quarters. As soon as I arrive, I cough up that lung.

Damn.

I am suddenly freezing and realize what's going on. I must have caught something while I was outside in the pouring rain.

Damn Genii!

Damn Kolya!

I should probably go to the infirmary to see to the pounding headache. And… I check my forehead… yep, that temperature I have. But first, I'm exhausted and I just want to sleep. I'll just lie down and close my eyes for a minute.

When I woke up I did not feel rested. In fact, I felt one hundred times worse than before. I took a deep breath- Strike that; I attempted to take a deep breath and began coughing again. Okay, it was definitely time to visit the infirmary.

I stood up too quickly and suddenly had the sensation that I was standing on my head and felt the cold floor as I fell. It was nice and cool on my headed skin so I just remained there for a few minutes. When I'm finally able to sit up without teetering over, I reach for my headset on the end table.

I debate on whom to call. Carson is probably off duty at the moment, but I know I can't get to the infirmary on my own.

"McKay."

"What do you want now, Sheppard? I'm busy." My reply to him was another coughing fit. "Hey, you don't sound too good."

"Thanks, McKay. Now would you come to my quarters and help me out?"

I hated having to ask for help, but I certainly wasn't doing anyone any favors by just lying on the floor. Least of all me!

"On my way!" he shouted.

Good. Now I can close my eyes again while I wait for him.

The next time I wake up, I'm in the infirmary. I turn my head to the left to see Carson bustling around. He probably shouldn't be up, but there he is. Again, instead of actually saying anything, I begin to cough.

"Major," he said, coming over. "Feeling any better?" he asks after I'm finished coughing.

"Slightly," I replied miserably.

"You've gone and caught pneumonia, Son. Not a bad case, thank goodness..."

I glare at him, my head pounding and eyes watering. If this wasn't a bad case, I'd hate to know what one of those felt like!

"Bad as in you don't need to be on a respirator."

"Oh."

"Aye."

"I guess we're just gonna have to let it run it's course, huh?" I asked.

"That we are, Major."

Beckett then started fussing with the blankets to make me more comfortable. Again, I really hate not being able to take care of myself. However right now I am just too tired to care.

I muttered a thank you, trying to drift of in a peaceful sleep.


	10. Defiant One Tag

Title: Sacrifice  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

"You're welcome, sir. We'll be there in just a few minutes," Ford replied

"We can wait." Sheppard walked over to join McKay. "Thanks."

"Yeah, you too. You ok?"

"Other than this and a few cracked ribs. What about Gaul?"

"No," McKay said sadly as they walked towards the Puddle Jumper.

"We'll have to put the ship back together, provided you can disarm the shield."

"Fine. As long as we get to go home."

"You can drive."

"Oh, thank you!"

McKay looked up from his attempt to disarm the shield. The fact that body parts were strewn all over the sand made him want to throw up what little he had eaten since they arrived on this dustbowl of a planet.

"Sheppard!" he exclaimed, realizing that his friend had yet to talk to him since they arrived back at the Jumper and that scared him.

McKay saw him lying on the ground and rushed to his immediately. "Sheppard!" he said again. All the while wondering when the man had collapsed and why hadn't he noticed.

"McKay don't shout," Sheppard replied as he attempted to sit up.

"No! Don't move! Your back could be broken! You might have severed your spine!"

"Relax," Sheppard said, slowly moving to a seated position. "I'm sure I'd be able to tell if my spine was severed. Besides, I've already been walking."

McKay's eyes strayed to Sheppard's shoulder. He could see blood seeping through the dirtied bandage. He pulled out a new field dressing and began removing the old one just as Jumper Two came into view.

Sheppard watched McKay as he silently worked. He was a little surprised to see the red-rimmed eyes. "Rodney?"

"What?"

"What exactly happened to Gaul?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

McKay seemed to swallow around the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "Shot himself."

Sheppard almost had to strain to hear his friend's response. He could tell the man was blaming himself. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. I could have grabbed the gun away from him, I could have told him not to come out here with us! I could have..."

"McKay, if anyone is at fault, it was me," Sheppard told him. "I never should have left the two of you alone."

"You did what you had to do. We weren't going anywhere with that Wraith out here anyway."

Sheppard nodded, wincing as McKay pulled at his injury. He then realized that they shouldn't be blaming themselves, no, they should be honoring Gaul. The man had sacrificed himself so McKay would be able to help him.

"Sheppard!"

He blinked. Had he spaced out? Looking over to the right, he could see Ford and Teyla heading in their direction.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get off this damn planet."


	11. Hot Zone Tag

Title: Face the Music  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimes: Not mine. The chat between John and Elizabeth at the end is mostly from the episode.

* * *

As I flew back to Atlantis, I thought back to the events of the day. When I got back, Elizabeth was going to kill me because I forced Bates to make a choice. Looks like I was going to have to apologize to him too.

Damn, my back is really stiff. I guess that explosion tossed the crap out of my little Jumper. I think the best idea ever is to take some Tylenol and call it a night! I am so flipping tired. Maybe if I just close my eyes a minute…

"Whoa! Wake up, John!" I exclaimed.

Good thing the Jumper's on autopilot because I don't think we would have made it otherwise. "Atlantis, this is Jumper One making final approach."

"Copy that Jumper One. And Dr. Weir is requesting to see you before you head down to the infirmary."

I quietly sighed. "Got it!"

I ignored the incessant pounding of pain in my back and headed up to the command center. Everyone I walked by congratulated and thanked me. A couple of the Marines slapped me on my back and I had to be careful not to wince in front of them.

Could you imagine the kind of gossip that would go around if they saw their CO collapse on the ground in pain?

"Major!" Grodin called. "Excellent work."

"Thanks," I replied, heading towards the inevitable screaming. Right now I wished I had collapsed because of those Marines…

" Are you okay?" she asked.

" Yeah," I replied, "just a little nuke… nothing, really.

She nodded, a slight smile on her face. "The naquadah generator plan was very clever. Good work."

" Thank you. Now, I'm going to bed," I told her, standing.

"We need to discuss what happened earlier."

I eyed her warily. Please, can't this wait, I thought to myself. "Now?"

I knew I was in big trouble when she ignored my question and said, "That can never happen again."

I stare at her before sitting back down. "Look, I'm sorry about..."

" I understand your expertise in military matters and I agree that I should defer to those expertise in such situations!"

Oh she was pissed! She didn't even let me finish! I wasn't able to think of a response so I said the first thing that came to mind. "Thank you!"

Again she pretty much ignored me and continued to yell. "But you are not the one who decides what is and what is not a military situation. Now, both General O'Neill and Colonel Sumner warned me that you don't respect the proper chain of command."

"Well, sometimes I see a situation a little different than..."

Again, I'm interrupted.

"No. Listen to me, John. Now, you endangered yourself and the lives of many others."

Damn, she's really pissed.

"Because I thought it was the best course of action to take -- and, by the way, I saved your ass."

"I know you did -- but you have to trust me."

"I do!" I said adamantly.

"Do you?"

God, I really love Beckett and McKay right now.

Apparently all samples of the virus are pretty much dead now. McKay thinks we can rule out that they were created by the Wraith since they're different than any Wraith technology we've come across.

Okay, I have to say that's a little scary.

I asked him who could have possibly made them. He had no idea and I shared his hope that they weren't still around. This absolutely sucked! I mean we already have the Wraith and now the Genii to contend with! Now there was the possibility of ANOTHER group of crazies out there.

It was getting really hot in that small room with the four of us crowded in it. I stood up, wincing as the pain in my back seem to increase. "Major, are you all right?" Beckett asked.

"Fine," I lied. "I'm just going to lie down."

Beckett took my arm and pulled me with him. "First I'm going to check you over"  
"I'm fine, Doc, really. I just need to sleep… in my quarters," I added.

"You will come to the infirmary, Major and I will be the one to say where you're sleeping tonight. Let's go."

I looked at Elizabeth for a little help and knew I wasn't going to get any from her right now. McKay just shook his head. "Um… I'm hungry," he said backing out of the room and making a run for it.

"All right," I replied.

By the time we reached the infirmary, I was leaning heavily on Beckett. The poor guy must think I'm crazy. I usually have a high threshold for pain, but I guess that bumpy ride was bumpier than I thought.

That or the fact that Teyla wiped the floor with me earlier…

"Sorry, Doc," I muttered as he helped me onto a bed.

"Major when was the last time you slept?"

I guess it was too late to lie. He could probably see that I was about to drop off any second. "Not since the Genii. I keep thinking they're going to 'Gate through and I'm not going to be prepared again. I keep thinking Kolya is going to kill everyone and I'll be the only one left."

Okay that was stupid, John. Now he's going to try and make me see that psychologist. What was her name? Heightmeyer.

"I think you should see Dr. Heightmeyer, Major." I gave him a look. "I know you don't like that idea, but you really should. For now I'll give you a sedative to help you sleep, but not until after I've done a few scans."

I hate sedatives, but I hated the fact I couldn't sleep even more. The fact that Kolya and the Genii have reduced me to a freaked out schoolgirl is definitely not appreciated. It's also not the way a commanding officer should be acting.

"You win, Doc. Lets get this over with so I can get some sleep."


	12. Sanctuary Tag

Title: Out of Sorts  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine...

* * *

I felt a little lightheaded as I made the trek back to the Jumper. I was a little surprised Elizabeth didn't send a team out to look for me. Maybe I hadn't been gone that long...

Rodney was going to have a field day with this. I was tempted not to mention the joining of minds with Chaya in my report. I don't remember much about it anyway besides the fact that her thoughts were beautiful and hopeful.

Truth be told it was better than sex! It was way more intimate. I only hope I didn't scar her with my own thoughts.

As I took off into the atmosphere, I wondered if we were ever going to find allies in Pegasus. Everyone seemed to turn on his (with the exception of the Athosians). I sighed and dialed the 'Gate.

"Enough thinking, John," I muttered as a beep confirmed the lowering of the shield.

I hoped I could keep Rodney and Elizabeth at bay long enough to get some sleep.

"Welcome back, Major," the Scottish brogue greeted me as I stepped out of the Jumper. I should have known he'd be there.

"Hey, Doc," I replied wearily.

"Major, are you all right? You seem to be a little out of sorts."

"I guess I am," I admitted. I surprised not only Beckett, but myself as well. He just nodded and I followed him to the infirmary. "Where are Dr. Weir and Rodney?"

"I haven't seen them since you left. I believe they were going over what Rodney learned of Chaya." Beckett patted one of the beds. "Have a seat, Major."

I was quiet as Beckett examined me. Sleep sounded like my new best friend right now and not only that, but I was feeling slightly dizzy. What the hell was going on?

"Your blood pressure is a bit low," Beckett said.

Ah, that explains my dizziness.

"What happened out there?"

I took a deep breath and told him as much as I could remember. Beckett seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Colonel Carter experienced a similar situation a few years back. I'll request her medical file to see if indicated any problems. I don't forsee any, but one never knows with you, Major."

"Funny, Doc, but don't quit your day job. Am I good to go?"

"Of course, but stop by tomorrow morning."

"Will do, Doc. Oh, and can you ask that I not be bothered for a few hours at least? Not only to sleep, but to sort out what happened to me."

"Aye, Major, I can do that."


	13. Before I Sleep Tag

Title: Alone  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Atlantis and all related characters belong to people who aren't me.

Elizabeth walked around the city in silence. She couldn't believe she was in the city of the Ancients and 10,000 years in the past. It was one thing to be alone in another galaxy when you had others (from your timeline) with you, but she didn't.

Elizabeth was truly and utterly alone.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. Why did this have to happen? Why was she the only one to survive?

Tears slid down her cheeks, but she made no effort to wipe them away. They were for Dr. McKay, Dr. Beckett, Major Sheppard, Simon, and everyone else on her expedition team. But most of all, she cried for herself.

As she turned the corner towards the quarters she was given, Elizabeth ran straight into Janus.

"I am sorry!" he apologized as he helped her to her feet. Janus then noticed her red eyes. "Are you all right?"

Elizabeth smiled warily. "I've been better."

"I understand. You have lost many people tonight and the fact that the council doesn't seem interested in helping..." Janus trailed off realizing that Elizabeth didn't want or need to hear of the council. "Perhaps I may be able to help you."

"You would do that? Against the council's wishes?"

Janus nodded. "I do not want Atlantis to be destroyed just as our ancestors from Earth arrive. You must all live to bring this city back to it's glory."

"Thank you, Janus."


	14. Brotherhood Tag

Title: Damn Head Injuries  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine...

* * *

"Major."

"Not now, Rodney!" I said as I left the control room.

I didn't meant to be rude, but all I wanted to do was take a nice long shower after sweating in that damn underground hole Kolya left us in. Something tells me I'm going to regret not killing him, but I push that thought far into my mind for the moment.

I couldn't believe we lost the ZPM to those people. After all we did to help them find it and that was the thanks we get?

I entered my room and just stood there. Why had I gone to my quarters? And why the hell was I so confused right now? I can't seem to remember the last place I was. I blinked as my vision started to blur.

"Maybe I should go to the infirmary," I said out loud.

I'm sure that'd be a great idea and Carson would be shocked if I actually listened to myself, but right now I can't remember how to get to the damn infirmary! Okay, I should really call him then…

Whoa! I should sit down first to get my bearings.

Where was I going to go?

"Major Sheppard."

I'm going crazy because I'm hearing voices in my head. It was a few minutes before I responded because it took a little concentration than was probably needed. "Carson."

"I'm still waiting to do your post mission exam."

I took a deep breath. That's what I was going to do! "Carson, maybe you should come here," I suggested, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Major?"

I could hear a little exasperation in his voice. "Doc, I'd come there myself, but to be honest, I can't remember how to get there."

"Where are you?" He asked concerned.

"In my… quarters," I replied.

My head was really pounding now. I have no idea what was going on, but my bed looked really comfortable and all I wanted to do was sleep. Carson was obviously telling me not to close my eyes, but my body had other ideas as I slipped into the darkness.

* * *

When I woke up again the pain had lessened and I could hear Carson talking to someone. Most likely Elizabeth, but I wasn't ready to open my eyes just yet. He said something about a torn artery. That definitely can't be good!

"What's the middle meningeal artery?" Rodney asked. I could hear the underlying fear in my friend's voice.

"The middle meningeal artery is typically the first branch of the first part of the maxillary artery; one of the two terminal branches of the external carotid artery," Carson replied. "An injured artery is the cause of an epidural hematoma. A head injury is required to rupture the artery.

"Now we were able to relieve the pressure, but he may be unconscious for another few hours. It's a damn good thing there were no fractures."

Rodney seemed confused when he asked the next question. "But when did he hit his head?"

"The fight," Ford said. "After the flash grenades went off, we attacked Koyla's team."

"If the Major was hit in the face or head with enough force, that would have done it," Carson told them.

I remember that hit to the face. I saw stars, but it didn't really start bothering me until I got back to Atlantis. I'll have to ask Carson about that, but right now, I think I'm going to rest.

* * *

"Major."

I blinked. "Hey Doc."

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better," I said. "How long was I out this time?"

"Nearly 12 hours," Carson replied. "You're a lucky man, Major."

I nodded as he checked my vitals. "Carson, why didn't this hit me right away?"

"Well the human brain is still a mystery, but most people who injure their meningeal artery seem lucid for about a half hour before any symptoms occur."

I was kind of surprised he didn't go into more detail. He must have seen the look on my face and smiled. "I knew you were conscious when I was talking to Dr. Weir and your team. I figured you'd want to rest so I didn't say anything."

I smiled back. "Thanks, Doc."


	15. Letters From Pegasus Tag

Title: Letters  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

Ford left me alone after I recorded the message to Colonel Sumner's family. I'm glad he understood my need to be by myself. There are a two people in particular I could technically send a message to, but if we ever made contact with Earth, I'd rather not receive anything with "Return To Sender" stamped on it.

I think that's worse than not having anyone to write home to.

No, I never deal with rejection well. Just ask my ex-wife. I loved Brianna, still do, but she couldn't handle my being in the military and I couldn't give it up. Not even after my reassignment to Antarctica.

"Okay, John, snap out of it! Now is not the time to dwell in the past!"

But I couldn't help it. I guess I just love to torture myself.

When I returned from Afghanistan, my Dad wanted nothing to do with me. He said I was a loose cannon and that the military couldn't afford to keep me around. I think he was secretly thrilled at my new location in the south pole.

He hasn't spoken to me since the day I went home to tell him. He said I was no longer welcome there and that Mom would be so ashamed if she was still alive.

I'd like to think that my Mom was proud of me. She always told me to follow my heart and my beliefs.

So no, I can't send her a letter where she is, but I send her my thoughts every night before I go to sleep and that is all the comfort I need.


	16. The Gift Tag

Title: Guilt  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

Teyla watched as Dr. Beckett gingerly touched the bandage on his forehead while heading over to her. She remembered everything the Wraith had done as he purposely made her aware of everything that was happening.

She remembered smacking John across the back with the IV pole, but worst of all, she remembered punching Dr. Beckett in the face. He smiled at her as he approached her bed. "How are you feeling, Teyla?"

"I am feeling well, thank you, Dr. Beckett."

He gave her a look. "That statement doesn't even sound remotely truthful. What's bothering you?"

"I..." Teyla looked down at her hands. She had never felt more vulnerable then at that moment. "I am sorry, Dr. Beckett."

"Ach now, no need to apologize, Love! You weren't in control of yourself. Besides, we're all fine." Teyla's eyes snapped up to meet his. "I'm fine. Trust me."

"Always, Dr. Beckett."


	17. The Siege Part 1 Tag

Title: The Perfect Place..?  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

"M1M-316 seems like the perfect place to set up camp," I told Teyla and Ford.

Teyla nodded in agreement. "Indeed it is, Major. The sun is not too hot and trees will provide much protection from the elements."

I noticed that Ford had a look in his eyes. "You are not naming this planet!" I said. "So don't get any ideas!"

"I didn't say a word, Sir," Ford replied with a grin.

I glanced at my watch. "As much as I'd like to stay here and pretend nothing bad is about to happen, we should really get back to Atlantis."

As we began the hike back to the Stargate, I started thinking about the last few hours. Bates accusing Teyla of being a liability. I hated thinking that it could be true and as much as the man annoys me sometimes, he could be right. Not that Teyla would ever do anything to compromise us on her own, but...

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a loud growling sound. "What the hell was that?"

"No clue, Sir."

"I have no idea, Major."

"In any case, let's double time it back to the 'Gate."

The 'Gate was in sight when ground began to shake from the force of whatever was coming after us. "Dial it up, Ford!" I exclaimed.

When it finally came into view, I was amazed at the size of the creature. It looked like a huge ass lizard!"

"IDC's gone through!" Ford said, running for the event horizon.

Teyla and I followed right behind him as the creature screamed because he lost his dinner.

Well, I wasn't going to complain!


	18. The Siege Parts 2&3 Missing Scene & Tag

Title: Genii Hospitality  
Rating: PG  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

"I am way past careful! Now you know what the deal is, and it's a damn good one, so take it or leave it!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

Pernum glared at her once more before leaving her alone with the guard. They stared at one another for a few minutes and finally he moved closer to Elizabeth. She could smell alcohol on the man's breath as he leered at her.

"Excuse me," she said, hoping she didn't sound too nervous. Since his only response was brushing his hands across her chest, she kicked him in the groin. The man grunted, but didn't fall over.

He grabbed a handful of her hair, kissing her roughly on the lips. Elizabeth squirmed under his grasp. "I like a woman with spirit!" he said with a laugh.

Elizabeth pushed down her fear and shoved the man on to the floor. Just as he was about to get up and lunge at her, the door opened and Pernum entered. "What is going on here?" he asked, glaring at the guard. "Bryce?"

Since the man didn't reply, Pernum looked over at Elizabeth. She was breathing heavily and her face was ashen. "He attacked me," she replied.

"Leave Bryce. I will deal with you later." The man did so and Pernum eyed her in concern. "Are you all right?" he asked.

It was a little odd to see concern on the man's face, but just nodded in response. "Have you made your decision?"

"Straight to the point, I can do that. Yes, we've agreed to your terms, Dr. Weir. We expect a full report if you survive the attack."

Elizabeth nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Elizabeth was lost in thought as she headed down to the infirmary to check on the injured members of her expedition team. She kept thinking about her encounter with the Genii guard Bryce. The look in his eyes, his lips pressing down on hers, his hands all over…

"Let go of me!" she cried when arms grabbed her. She heard an 'oof' and blinked, realizing she was safe within the walls of Atlantis.

"Damn, what was that for?"

Elizabeth blushed, kneeling next to her second in command. "John, are you all right?"

"I've been better," he replied. Although she could tell his voice had raised an octave. "The question is, are you all right?"

She helped him to his feet, trying to figure out a way out of this. Somehow she didn't think there was anything she could say to convince him otherwise. "Well, I…"

"Yeah?"

"I was just thinking back to my trip to the Genii homeworld."

John grinned. "I guess I could see why you would want to kick them where it hurts the most." He looked over at Elizabeth to see her spacing out again. "Hey," he said. "Elizabeth?"

She blinked. "John?"

"What's wrong?"

Suddenly Elizabeth felt extremely vulnerable and she just wanted to run to her quarters. She felt like such an idiot for feeling like that. "John, I…"

"Something happened when you where over there. Tell me."

"No, it's not a big deal. I'm fine," she replied, resuming her walk. This time she decided against the infirmary and was heading for her quarters.

John followed her, trying to figure out what went wrong. "Elizabeth, you're not fine. You freaked out when I ran into you and you keep spacing out. If you don't talk to me about it, then I'll take you to see Carson."

"Well isn't this the pot calling the kettle black."

"Ha ha," John replied, crossing his arms. "Are you going to answer me or make fun of me?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "The latter sounds more fun."

"Elizabeth."

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "One of the guards attacked me. He tried to force himself on me."

John was stunned to say the least. "Bastard," he muttered. "But you're fine. He didn't…"

"No. Pernum came back in time."

"You should at least get checked out by Carson."

"No, John, really I'm fine. I'm just a little jumpy."

He nodded. "Maybe you should talk to Heightmeyer."

"Maybe I will."

"Are you sure you'll..."

Elizabeth smiled as she interrupted him. "Trust me. I'll be fine. If I have any more problems I will talk with Dr. Heightmeyer. Right now I'm going to my quarters to get some sleep."

Before he could reply, she had slipped into her quarters.


	19. Intruder Missing Scene & Tag

Title: No Hurry  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

_Okay, John, you can do this!_ I told myself. _Just get out of the car, walk up to the door and ring the bell!_

Yet, here I am still sitting in the car. The driver must think I'm nuts. Hell, I probably am considering the fact that I didn't take Elizabeth's advice and now I'm visiting Colonel Sumner's family today.

I turned to see all the cars in the driveway and along the side of the road. What's worse is that I have to give this news on a day of happiness for his family. Apparently it's his son's graduation day.

Damn.

I should just get out the car and get this over with.

I'm just about to when another car pulls up and none other than Michael Sheppard gets out. Oh crap, I so do not need this. First I have to inform this family of their husband and father's death and now I have to deal with my Dad.

It's too late, though, I have to get out of the car because he saw me. I take a deep breath and open the door as he walks over to me. He already knows about Sumner, I can tell by the look in his eyes. It was the same look he gave me when I got back from Afghanistan.

"I can't believe you have the audacity to show up here, John."

I was not going to let him berate me about this. Besides, he doesn't know the whole story! I was about to answer him when he continued.

"I know all about Atlantis," he added.

"Then you know why I had to do it. You know it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. You know I would do it again if I was faced with that decision again."

Dad just glared at me. "You can leave now. Go back where you came from. I will inform the family of their loss," he said, turning away.

I grabbed his arm. "Dad, no! This is something I have do myself." He just stared at my hand on him and I quickly removed it. "Just let me do this."

"Fine," he replied.

I could tell that he wasn't about to leave so I headed up the walkway, took another deep breath, and knocked on the door. The woman who answered eyed us in curiosity, but I wanted to run when I saw realization sweep over her.

"This is about my Marshall, isn't it?" She looked behind me at Dad. "Matthew? Oh dear God."

Before I could say anything, another woman joined her at the door along with a man who had to be Sumner's son. He stared at me with cold eyes as I broke the news. When he asked me who I was, it seemed to anger him even more.

"Colonel? They promoted you, of all people? It's your fault he's dead, isn't it? Admit it, Sheppard, I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm afraid that's true, David," Dad said. "My son is at fault for the death of your Father."

My heart thumped in my chest as all three glared at me and before I knew it, David was coming at me. Normally I would have defended myself but I didn't. No, I let him hit me in the jaw.

"That's for my Dad," David exclaimed. "And this is form me!"

Suddenly I was on the ground and I had a bloody nose. Dad was kind enough to pull him off and toss me a handkerchief. What hurt the most was the fact that he was comforting David and being there for him.

I sighed as I stood up. This was exactly why I hadn't been in a hurry to return to Earth.

* * *

As soon as I was beamed aboard the Daedalus, I made a beeline for my quarters. I know the minute Rodney sees the blood on my shirt; he was going to start asking questions that I didn't want to answer right now.

"John."

I stopped when I heard Elizabeth's voice. She's probably going to ask me how things went with Colonel Sumner's family. If I tried to ignore her she would definitely know something was wrong so might as well get this over with.

I heard her gasp when I turned around. "My God, what happened? Are you all right? Did you go to the infirmary?"

"David Sumner, yes, and yes."

"Why did he hit you?" I shrugged. "John."

"My Dad."

"You're Dad?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Apparently he's been given the highest security clearance and read my report. He pretty much told Colonel Sumner's family that I killed him. Needless to say, I wasn't a very popular guy."

"I'm so sorry, John," Elizabeth replied.

"It's not your fault." Elizabeth was quite for a few moments as she looked down at her hands. "What?"

"It is my fault, John. Your Father requested security clearance to find out what you've been up to. When I met with the President yesterday, I told him it would be all right. If I had known…"

John shook his head. "Don't worry about it. You didn't know. Now, if you don't mind I'm going to get changed. Oh, and Elizabeth?"

"Yes, John?"

"Could you please keep this from Rodney for now?"

Elizabeth nodded. "It's the least I can do."

"Thanks."


	20. Runner Tag

Title: Upside Down and Out of Control  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine unfortunately

* * *

As I stared into the sky, I was broken from my thoughts at Rodney's voice. Too bad I didn't have a camera on me. This would have been the perfect picture to put on the bulletin board in the mess hall.

"Coming, Rodney!" I called, rushing over to him.

"Don't say anything!" He exclaimed. I just looked at him innocently. "I know you're going to make a comment so shut up and help me down!"

I just shook my head and contemplated the best way to get him down without injuring him. It's not like we have much in the way of equipment here. If I had a ladder...

I turned when I heard leaves rustling behind me. Teyla and Ronon. "Hey guys, wanna give me a hand over here?" I asked.

"Dr. McKay, are you all right?"

"I'm fine except that the BLOOD IS RUSHING TO MY HEAD!" Rodney cried out. "And my ankle is killing me!!!"

"Here," Ronon said, handing Rodney a knife.

He looked at in increduously. "What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"Cut yourself down."

Rodney looked from Ronon to me. "Is he serious? I could land on my head!"

"It'd be an improvement," I muttered. "Come on, Rodney. All the blood will be in your head by the time we got a ladder out here."

"Fine! But if I end up with a broken neck or severed spine, you are so waiting on me hand and foot!"

I watched in mild amusement as Rodney took the knife and attempted to reach for the rope. Teyla and I shrugged at one another then helped to lift him towards it. We decided to keep a hold on him so he didn't injure himself on the way down.

"Okay," Rodney said, panting. "A few more seconds and you two better be catching me!"

Finally Rodney was free and he was falling. All three of us ended up in a pile on the ground and I could have sworn I heard Ronon laughing at us.

"Rodney, you okay?"

He shook his head to clear away some of the dizziness from being upside down. "I've been better. And I think my ankle's sprained."

"Well, let's get you back to the Jumper so Carson can take a look at it."

Teyla and I went on either side of Rodney, helping him up. "You coming with us?" I asked Ronon.

"Yeah, I guess."

Not much for talking, that one.


	21. Duet Tag

Title: Anyone For a Jog?  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine!

* * *

After a long day of dealing with Rodney and his... current situation, I needed to go for a jog and clear my head. I think we're going to have to give Cadman severance pay for this! I can't even imagine the trauma one would go through being stuck in Rodney McKay's body.

I was a little surprised when I turned the corner and nearly ran into said scientist. I stared at him a few minutes. Something seemed off about him. It looked like he'd been jogging... And is that his hand on his hip?

"Colonel?" he asked.

"What are you doing, Rodney?"

"Um," he said as he straightened his stance. "Just jogging, Sir."

Okay now I know something is wrong. Rodney would never call me 'Sir' in his right mind. "Lieutenant?"

"Oh, sorry, Sir. I guess you were a little confused."

"A bit. Rodney's going to kick your ass once the two of you are separated. That man can barely run a half a mile let alone the ten miles you do!"

Rodney, I mean, Cadman shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

This was so weird. Rodney's hands were moving, well girl-like, and it was freaking me out! I cleared my throat. "Well, I gotta go!" I exclaimed before she/he could say anymore.

I will be so happy when Cadman is returned to her body!


	22. Condemned Tag

Title: Internal  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine!

I knew something was wrong the minute the Jumper slammed into the ground, but I shook it off and dealt the mess we found ourselves in. I could feel a slight pain emanating from my abdomen and I knew exactly what Carson would tell me.

Internal bleeding.

Yeah. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

I think I was running on pure adrenaline by the time we escaped the hut. Then of course we had to defend Rodney and the Jumper. When that guy smacked me in the face, my headache grew five times what it had been.

So now we're waiting as the prisoners run through the 'Gate. Oh how I just wish they'd hurry up so I can lie down somewhere. I'd prefer my quarters, but something tells me the moment Carson sees me I'll be in the infirmary.

_"We're dialing. Head for the Gate,"_ Elizabeth's voice filtered through the radio.

By the time I stepped into the Gateroom, I was not well at all. I could feel my pulse racing, I was having trouble breathing, my head felt ready to explode and I just knew I was going to be sick.

Teyla was the first to notice and immediately took my arm. "John," she said.

"Don't feel so hot, Teyla."

I almost smiled at the look of shock on her face because I was being truthful about how I was feeling.

"Let us get you to the infirmary then. Ronon."

I suddenly heard Rodney pipe up. "I'll help!"

"Um, guys..."

Before I could prevent myself, I threw up (all over Rodney's shoes, mind you).

"Okay, that is just not sanitary!!" Rodney exclaimed as Teyla called for Carson and his medical team.

"Sit down, John," Teyla instructed.

"Sorry."

"Do not worry about it. I should have just taken you myself."

The last thing I heard before I lost consciousness was Carson muttering, "Bloody hell, what have you done to yourself now?"

* * *

When I finally came to I felt slightly better. By that I mean I didn't feeling nauseous and my head had stopped pounding. I felt extremely thirsty and tired so when I moved, pain seemed to flow through my abdomen.

Ugh, do I hate crash landings!

"Colonel!" Carson exclaimed rushing to my aid. "Let me get that for you."

I smiled gratefully at him as he picked up the cup of ice next to my table. "Thanks," I said after the cold wetness went down my throat. "Where is everyone?"

I half expected my team to be sitting around the infirmary.

"I kicked them out an hour ago. Colonel, you really need to stop injuring yourself to the point where you spend more time in my infirmary than you do your quarters."

"Believe me, Doc, there's nothing I'd rather do than to come back from every mission unscathed." He just stood there. "Not that I don't like your company," I added.

Carson laughed. "I know that. Now, why don't you get some more rest? I can only keep your team at bay for so long."


	23. Trinity Tag

Title: Trust  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine

* * *

It'd been two days since Rodney blew up that solar system. Two days of him kissing up to me and two days of me not giving in. I know he truly believed he was right, but to actually risk his life over it...

"Sheppard, there doesn't seem to be anything on this world," Ronon said, breaking me from my thoughts.

I nodded, looking around. It was a beautiful world, almost like a tropical oasis. "At least we can tag this as a possible Alpha Site. This one seems so much more comfortable than the tree infested planet we're using right now. Besides, look at that surf coming in! We could definitely use a break."

"I agree, Colonel," Teyla said, stealing a glance over at Rodney, then looking back at me.

I averted my eyes quickly. I know she wants me to talk to him, but I can't yet. Not until I've forgiven myself for allowing this to happen... Really, if there were people there...

I stopped in my tracks. God, what if there were people in that solar system? The thought of all those families and their children who would never grow up...

"John."

I felt Teyla's hand on my shoulder and looked at her. "Are you all right?"

"Uh, yeah. Let's get back to Atlantis."

I noticed that Teyla and Ronon dropped back a few feet so that Rodney was walking next to me. I could take a hint.

"Rodney, I..." He looked at me in shock. We hadn't spoken much in the last few days unless it had to do with Atlantis business. "I'm sorry for acting the way I did. I still trust you and that's why I allowed you to work on the weapon again. But you need to understand that--"

"That I can't fix everything," Rodney finished for me.

"What?"

"That's what you were going to say, right?"

I nodded slowly. "I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm mostly talking about Ancient technology here. There are a lot of things the Ancients invented that even they couldn't figure out. Didn't you read that report on the time looping device?"

"I don't see why you're apologizing, though," Rodney said. "This whole thing was my fault. If I had just went along with the simulations a little longer..."

I stopped and grabbed Rodney by the shoulders. "Stop! It happened. We're all alive, let's just leave it at that."

"Okay," he replied, eyeing me with a look of confusion on his face.

I think he could tell I had something more on my mind, but I wasn't about to tell him what I'd been thinking. No, he doesn't need to have that burden on his shoulders as well.


	24. Instinct Tag

Title: Nightmares  
Rating: PG  
Author:MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

I woke up in the infirmary in confusion. It was quiet and there was no sign of Carson or any of his nurses. I attempted to key into my headset, but found it missing. I stood up and noticed that my injury had healed. Shaking my head I wondered how long I'd been out of it. I headed out into the hallway and met with the most horrible sight I had ever seen.

If it was possible, it was even more horrible than anything I had ever witnessed in my life. Expedition members were lying in every corner of the hall and they were dead.

Life sucked out by the Wraith, to be exact.

My heart started pounding in my chest. I had to find my team. I turned the next corner to find more people there and right in front of me were Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth, and Carson.

I stood there in stunned silence. As much as I wanted to run to the Jumper Bay and leave the city, I couldn't. Not when my friends were lying dead before me.

"Crap!"

I turned. "Rodney."

"Just stay where you are," Rodney replied, taking a step back.

"Rodney, it's me."

He nodded. "I-I know. Look around, Sheppard, can't you see what you've done?"

"What I've done? What are you talking about? It's obvious what happened here!"

"Look, I understand that you want to try and distance yourself from this, but the fact remains you killed them and I'm the only left for you to feed on!"

I couldn't believe what Rodney was saying to me. I could never do this to anyone!

"How did this happen?" I whispered.

Rodney's eyes remained wild, but he took a deep breath to calm himself. "After we got back to Atlantis and Carson was treating the wound you received from Ellia, you started going crazy." Rodney paused and took another breath. "You suddenly struck out and feed off Carson!"

"No!"

"You did! I was there! We all were. Ronon and Teyla tried to restrain you, but you just pushed them away. You're strong like a Wraith too, and if you looked in a mirror, you would see it!"

I didn't want to see myself, but I knew that I had to have proof. However, the urge to eat was getting stronger and I could feel my urge going out of control. Before I knew it, I was directly in front of Rodney. He looked up at me with terrified eyes, but grabbed his arm with one hand, then poised my other in front.

"Sorry, Rodney," I said, slamming my hand into his chest.

"Colonel! Colonel, calm down, you're safe!"

I blinked, attempting to clear the cobwebs. I'm safe? I just fed off Rodney and he's worried about me? Wait a minute, that was Carson.  
"What happened?"

"You were having a bloody hell of a nightmare, Son."

"Yeah... hell of a nightmare."


	25. Conversion Tag

Title: Coming To Terms  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

Note: Slight follow up to the tag for Instinct.

* * *

When I entered the mess hall, I was happy to see there weren't many people around. Not that I'm surprised considering the fact that it's nearly four am. I saw a few scientists working on laptops and they seemed to glance up at me nervously as if waiting for me to pounce on them.

I don't know how long this constant fear will be with them, but I can't wait until it's gone. Hell, even I'm a little scared of myself! This is the reason I'm here in the first place. I just want to grab a cup of coffee and sit in the corner of the room. There is no way I can go back to sleep.

Not when those same nightmares keep coming up to haunt me.

Each time it ends with a different person left and I can't help but feed on them as they look at me in horror. Shaking my head, I take my coffee to the darkest corner of the mess hall and sit down. However, I felt myself drifting off to sleep before I could even take a sip.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth."

"John! John, wake up!"

I blinked and looked up to see Elizabeth staring at me with a concerned expression on her face. "Another one," I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"I can see that. Maybe you should talk to Kate."

"No," I replied, shaking my head. "I'm fine. I just need to deal with this."

"John, I'm not going to return you to duty until after you've spoken to someone about this. If not Kate, then Carson or Ronon even."

I sighed and looked down at my now cold coffee. I hated talking to friends about my fears let alone a psychiatrist!

"Okay, I'll talk to someone," I replied, giving in. This was not going away until I dealt with it. Elizabeth just nodded and was about to leave when I grabbed her arm. "Are you available right now?"


	26. Aurora Tag

Title: After the Aurora  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

After toasting to the crew of the Aurora, I headed down to the infirmary. Carson had given me permission to deal with the briefing first. To be honest, I'm not sure if I told them everything that happened.

I can't seem to focus on much of anything at the moment and I have no idea why. My head is pounding and everything seems a bit on the blurry side. I will definitely have to ask Carson about this!

I stopped. Where was I going? I turn to the left and see the infirmary. That's as good a place as any. Besides, I told Carson I'd come down after the briefing anyway.

"Colonel?"

"Carson," I said. "Something's wrong."

A wave of dizziness washed over me and I felt Carson immediately grab a hold of me. "Colonel?" he said again, worry evident in his voice.

"Make it stop!" I groaned as the room tilted dangerously to the right... or maybe it was me?

"We're almost to a bed, Colonel. Jane, give me a hand!"

As soon as I felt my head hit the pillow, I lost consciousness.

When I woke up again, I could feel things attached to my head. A glance to the right showed an EEG monitor blinking at me. I tried to remember what happened, but everything seemed fuzzy. As I was about to call Carson's name, he came into view.

"Colonel," he said with a smile. "It's good to see you awake. How are you feeling, Son?"

"A little confused," I admitted.

"You've been unconscious for nearly ten hours. The weapon you were shot with in virtual environment caused your brainwaves to fluctuate abnormally. It wasn't until you showed up here that it really took a hold of you."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to understand what he was saying to me. I mean, I could hear what he was saying, but I don't have any clue as to what he was referring to. I told him as much.

"Your memory will return in time," Carson replied. "Just lie back and relax."

"How long do I have to stay here?"

Carson smiled. I think he was relieved to hear me say that. "I'd like to keep you here for observation until tomorrow morning. Now, are you still feeling any pain?"

"No."

"Dizziness?"

I shook my head. "Just a little tired."

"Finally! You must really love attention, Sheppard."

"Nice to see you too, Rodney," I replied saracastically.

Carson sighed. "Not too long, he needs his rest."

"Yeah, yeah."

Rodney stood quietly at the foot of the bed as Carson gave me a sympathetic grin and headed back to his office. "So..."

"So... You feeling any better?"

"Much."

"Good because I'm going to have Ronon kick your ass for scaring me yet again!"

"What's this, Rodney? Feeling emotional?" I asked.

"If that gets out, I'll tell everyone how you were drooling over a Wraith!"

"That was you!"

Rodney glared at me, sputtering. "Yeah, well... they don't have to know that!"

"Is that all you came here to say to me?"

Instead of replying, Rodney looked around the room, rushed to my side and suddenly hugged me. Before I could say anything to him, he was gone.


	27. The Lost Boys Hive Tag

Title: Of Wraith Queens and Drugged Scientists  
Rating: G  
Author:MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine...

I can hear her in my mind, forcing me to my knees. She wants to know about where we come from and how they can get there. I take a deep breath and shut her out.

Think about... about clowns. No, they scare the shit out of me.

Okay, Sheppard, just don't think about anything except kicking the ass of every single Wraith on this ship. You're going to grab a weapon, any weapon, and just start firing. Then you're going to rescue your friends and leave this ship before it explodes (because we'll somehow set the self-destruct).

"The Ship." The Queen says, "Where did you get it?"

I look up at her. "You mean the Dart? We call them Darts because they're so pointy."

"Tell me. Where?"

_Getting a little demanding, aren't we?_ I thought.

Aloud I replied, "I really don't wanna say."

The Queen smiled slightly as she backhanded me across the face. She then leaned toward me and ran her finger down my cheek.

"I don't even know your name," I gasped out.

"In time, you will tell me every..." She trailed off as she looked around the room. She growled at me and rushed out.

"Tell you what?" I exclaimed. "What's wrong? She didn't even tell me her name!"

As the guards led me back, one decided that I needed to be punched in the stomach. It took me a minute to pull myself together, but I was able to just as they dropped me back off in the cell...

I explained what happened and Teyla said, "There's something else. I sense she was agitated, even angry."

"Why?"

She looked at me grimly. "Another hive ship has arrived."

Excellent. That is all we need around here! I glanced around the cell, hoping to figure out someway to get us out of here. Rodney would have definitely come in handy here, of course he'd have to be on the other side.

I just hope he's all right...

* * *

"Rodney, are you in here?"

I had been searching for him all day. When Carson finished our post mission check ups, he told me about Rodney and how he returned to Atlantis. I was a little surprised to say the least. However Rodney has come a long way since our first mission.

"Back here," he replied.

"What are you doing back here?" I asked, finding him in one of the darker corners of the lab.

He took a deep breath. "Just thinking. I'm assuming Carson and Elizabeth told you what happened?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to say thanks, Rodney. If you hadn't taken the enzyme and come back here, I doubt I would be talking to you."

Rodney scoffed. "Please, you are the king of finding your way out of precarious situations. Of course, you're also the king of becoming injured and not telling anyone."

"What are you talking about?"

"I see how you're favoring your left shoulder. You must have really hidden that from Carson."

I shook my head. Rodney was right. I pulled a muscle in my shoulder but I told Carson I was fine. "Are you going to turn me in?"

"No, just saying."

I just smiled at him. "Thanks, Rodney."


	28. Epiphany Tag

Title: Abandonment Issues  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine...

Elizabeth shared a glance with Carson whenever John would throw a look over his shoulder. He seemed to be making sure they were there. She was about to say something to the physician when John stopped and fell to his knees.

Everyone rushed to his side. "Sorry," he gasped out. "I guess I'm still a little sore from my last encounter with their friendly neighborhood beast."

"Rest a moment, Colonel, while I check you over."

"Carson, please," John pleaded. "I just want to get back to Atlantis. Then I promise to let you check me over."

The physician sighed. He wasn't thrilled with the idea, but understood John/'s need to get back home considering the man had physically been away for six months.

"Very well. Ronon."

John allowed Ronon to help him up and soon they were at the cave's entrance. Another 20 minutes later and John was sinking gratefully onto the bench as Rodney powered up the Jumper. Carson was finally able to check his vitals. "Blood pressure is slightly elevated and you seem to have a fever as well, Colonel,"Carson told him, taking in the man's flushed face. "Do you know what kind of injuries you received?"

John shook his head. "Not really. Hedda was able to heal me before I was fully conscious. The last time she was too exhausted to finish so we made her stop. My knee''s a little sore and my back is killing me."

"Hedda?" Elizabeth asked. "Was she the one you were speaking to?"

"No, that was Teer, Hedda's sister." John continued as Carson wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. He was grateful because he was feeling a little cold. "Hedda was very sweet and always found a way to cheer me up. I..."

Elizabeth placed a hand on his shoulder. It was evident he missed the young girl already. "Everything will be all right, John. Besides Hedda is probably looking out for you right now."

He nodded, but didn't answer. He was suddenly very tired. Leaning his head against the wall of the Jumper, John closed his eyes for some much needed rest. Right now he relished in the fact that Elizabeth, Carson, and his team were with him.

* * *

When John woke up he was in the infirmary and quite alone. He didn't even see Carson walking about or any of the nurses. His heart started beating wildly in his chest. "Calm down, John!" he berated himself. "You'll be fine! You know they're here, just not in the area. You are not alone in Atlantis!"

John looked around again, wondering why Carson hadn't noticed that his monitors were going wild. _What the hell is going on?_ He thought nervously.

Ignoring the pain radiating in his back, John removed the IV and slid to the floor. He was silently grateful they put him in scrubs. Again, there was no movement from the physician's office so he headed in that direction.

John knew that Carson would give him an earful, but he didn't care. He was freaking out and he had to at least find a radio so he could talk to someone. Elizabeth, Rodney, anyone! He just needed to hear his friend's voices. Know that they didn't leave him behind. Upon arrival in Carson's office, he found it empty.

Swalling around the lump in his throat, he took a deep breath and picked up the earpiece he found on the desk. "Control room, this is Sheppard, come in."

No answer.

"Elizabeth?"

Nothing.

"Rodney? Ronon? Teyla? Carson?"

Again nothing. Not even static.

John was beginning to worry. He hoped everyone was all right. He decided it was time to search the city. He would head towards the control room and then to Rodney's lab and the mess hall. He'd then try their quarters. With determination and still trying to tell himself that his friends would never leave him behind, John headed out of the infirmary.

John's panic level had risen considerably high by the time he reached the infirmary again. He had been everywhere and he was exhausted. He angrily wiped away the tears that began to form. "No! Think, John! Think!"

"You think too much, John," a voice said.

"Hello?" he asked. Fearful that his mind was playing tricks on him and that no one was really there. Light appeared in front of him and formed into Teer.

"You need to relax, John. Your friends have not left you. We are in your mind."

John rushed to hold her in his arms. "Are you sure?"

"I am. You are dreaming. You must let go of the pain you feel from being abandoned. They did not abandon you. The only reason it felt that way was because of the time dilation field."

John nodded. "I know that in my head, but I still have that feeling in my heart. I know that when I wake up, they'll be sitting around me as usual. But then I think of what happened on that planet and there's a part of that tells me they won't be.■

"John, do you trust me?"

He nodded.

"Do you trust your friends?"

Another nod.

"Then do not worry about that part of you. Just know they will be there."

John smiled. "Thank you, Teer. How are Hedda and Avrid?"

"They are well. Hedda sends her love and will visit you soon. She would have come with me, but she is training."

"For what?"

"That I cannot tell you." Teer kissed him on the lips. "Until we meet again, John."

Once Teer was gone, John woke up to six relieved faces. "Hey guys," he said.

"It's about time!" Rodney exclaimed. "I thought you were going to sleep forever!"

"How are you feeling, Colonel?" Carson asked.

"My back is still sore."

"I'd like to help with that, if I may." Rodney nearly jumped into Ronon's arms when Hedda appeared next to him. She giggled. "Just as you described him, John."

John smiled and nodded. "Carson, this is Hedda."

Carson extended his hand to greet her. "It's very nice to meet you, Lass. John has told us much about you. And of course, you are welcome to help him in anyway you can."

Hedda moved closer to John. When Ronon saw her trying to figure out how to reach John, he picked her up. "Thank you, Ronon," she replied. "Can you sit up, John?" John did so slowly with Elizabeth and Carson's help.

Hedda placed her hands over him and closed her eyes. Everyone was silent as she did her work. After about ten minutes, Hedda opened her eyes. "That should do it." Hedda leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek then allowed Ronon to set her down. "Take care, John Sheppard. You are destined for greatness."

Everyone was silent as Hedda became light and was gone. "Destined for greatness?" Rodney snorted.

"Rodney," Elizabeth admonished, "be nice."

"How are you feeling now, Colonel?" Carson asked.

He smiled. "A little sore, but nothing to complain about. Besides, I think I'm just happy to be home."

"You were only gone..." Ronon trailed off because of the look Teyla gave him. "We're happy to have you home too, Sheppard."


	29. Critical Mass Tag

Title: Of Apologies and Poisons  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine...

I found him leaving the infirmary, a scowl on his face. "What the hell do you want?" he asked in anger.

"To apologize" "For what? The person who should be apologizing is Weir!"

I shook my head. "No. Sending Ronon in was my idea, not hers. If you're going to blame anyone, you need to blame me."

Kavanagh glared at me. I think he was trying to intemidate me, but the guy has to remember that I've faced Wraith Queens.

"Just watch it, Sheppard! I'll have you removed from this expedition team so fast your head will spin."

I chuckled as he stormed off. I wonder he got through grade school without getting beat up. An hour later I arrived at my quaters ready for a cold shower. Maybe a nap too. I suddenly felt really dizzy and my eyes started watering. Okay, and now I'm having trouble breathing. This definitely isn't good. I could feel my lungs burning in my chest.

Falling to my knees, I reach for my earpiece. "Carson!" I gasped out.

_ "Colonel?"_ he asked. _"Where are you, son?"  
_  
It took me a minute to catch my breath so I could reply. "Quarters."

_ "I'll be right down! Stay with me, Colonel!"_

"Can't... breath... dizzy..."

I'm not sure how long I waited for Carson, but my chest hurt like hell and I couldn't take a deep breath.

Carson arrived what seemed like an eternity later. By then my breathing was a little more controlled, but my chest still hurt. "Colonel, can you tell me what you're feeling?"

"Hurts, Doc," I replied.

I heard Carson shouting at his team as I began coughing. "Crap," Carson muttered.

"Doc?"

"Just stay calm, son, we're bringing you to the infirmary now."

I nodded, a little weary about the expression on Carson's face. But I was too exhausted to ask him about and slowly felt myself drift off, as I was rushed to the infirmary.

* * *

"Are you serious?" Rodney exclaimed. I blinked and looked to my left. Rodney was staring at Elizabeth and he seemed quite agitated. Ronon and Teyla were in their fighting stances. What the hell was going on?

Elizabeth nodded. "The Go'auld had a backup plan if the bomb didn't work," she said. "There was a time released capsule filled with a poisoned gas hidden in his quarters and set to go off after the ZPM should have exploded."

"I hate those things and I barely know anything about them," Ronon said.

"John," Teyla said when she noticed I was awake. Everyone swarmed around except Elizabeth, who I guessed was getting Carson. "How are you feeling?"

I coughed before replying. "Much better than I did before. So my death was the back up plan for the Go'auld? Don't I feel special!"

"Well, technically they could have picked anyone in Atlantis, say a brilliant scientist. For some odd reason they just picked you," Rodney replied.

"Only you would think that, Rodney," I told him.

I looked up at Carson expectantly as he walked over. "When can I get out of here?"

"Don't start with me, Colonel," Carson said as he grabbed his stethescope. "The poison in that capsule nearly burnt your lungs to a crisp. And don't tell me your chest doesn't still bother you. I've seen x-rays of that and the scarring needs to heal, let alone your cough."

Elizabeth smiled. "Just relax, John, and listen to Carson. You'll be out of here in no time!"

"I will, I promise," I replied giving her as innoncent a look as possible.


	30. Grace Under Pressure Tag

Title: Questions and Answers  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine.

"How much time do we have?" I asked.

Radek's voice floated from behind. "Once we're deeper, thirty minutes, tops."

Crap!

"All right. Descending through one thousand." I was thoughtful for a few minutes before speaking up again. "Radek, why do you think Rodney acts the way he does?"  
"Um... excuse me."

"I mean the way he acts with people. It took me a few weeks to understand that Rodney can be nice when he wants to be, he just doesn't show it."

Radek moved to the passenger seat next to me. "Perhaps he's been hurt before in the past. The only way to know that is to ask him, of course."

"Yeah," I replied.

"Some people could say the same about you, Colonel."

I turned to face him. "What?"

"No, I did not mean it like that. I meant the fact that no one asks about your past so you don't readily start talking about it."

"That's true." I took a deep breath. This could be bad, but if I was going to try this out on Rodney, it'll only be fair that I answer questions too. "Ask me anything about my past, Radek. Whatever you ask, I'll tell Rodney."

Radek studied me for a moment before walking back to check the monitors. Once that was completed, he sat back down. "Why did you not join Mensa?"

Nice! Out of every question under the Atlantean sun, he has to ask me that one! Okay, you can answer him John, just take a deep breath and plunge into your answer.

_ "I took the test when I was 14. My Mom brought me to the testing center and she was excited for me. At first I wasn't too thrilled because I didn't want my friends to think I was a nerd. It was bad enough my Dad already did."_

"_Anyway, after I finished I went outside to wait for her to pick me up." John took another deep breath. "My Dad was out there instead and as I walked to the car, I could tell that he'd been crying."_

_ "Dad?" I asked._

_ "Get in the car, Jonathan."_

I got in the car and nervously put my seatbelt on. He never called me by my full name unless I was in trouble. I couldn't stand the silence anymore so I asked him where Mom was.

His response was, "It's your fault!"

_ I stared at him. "What do you mean?" _

_Instead of replying, Dad pulled up in front of a hospital and I knew something horrible happened. Once we were in a parking spot, he looked at me, anger replaced by sadness._

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I don't really blame you."

"For what, Dad?"

"Your Mother was in a car accident on her way to pick you up. She's in a coma, John. They don't believe she'll wake up again."

_ Tears formed in my eyes. "But... I... Are you sure?" I asked as my heart beat wildly into my chest._

"Unfortunately."

"I never did talk to my Mom again. And after that, I just couldn't join Mensa. Not even for her. I've regretted it ever since."

Radek was silent. "I-I'm sorry. I did not mean to bring that up. I understand why you never told Rodney, but since you've told me, I think he has a right to know. Being your friend and all."

"Yeah, but the main reason I haven't told him was because it's fun to torture him."

Radek heard a beep coming from his laptop. As he got up and viewed the screen, I could hear him cursing in Czech. I knew exactly what he meant! We were screwed.


	31. The Tower Tag

Title: Only John Sheppard  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Nope, not mine...

As Colonel Sheppard flew one of the Jumpers toward the 'Gate, I glanced at him. He seemed very quiet and drowsy. I suddenly remember his altercation with Otho. Was it possibly that he had been injured from the first swing of the knife? I sigh, realizing that with John Sheppard, anything is possible.

The man probably doesn't even know why he's feeling the way he does. And obviously this poison affects him differently than the people here. Why, I can't be certain, but I do know he's currently still alive and I can help him.

"Rodney, would you come up here and take over for Colonel Sheppard please?"

"What?" Rodney asked, coming up front. "Why can't he fly it? He's the one who always says I don't fly in a straight line!"

I was a bit concerned that the Colonel had not commented about me removing him from the Jumper controls. "Colonel?"

There was sudden drop and Colonel Sheppard slumped over in his seat. "Sheppard!" Rodney exclaimed.

"Bloody hell! Teyla, a hand, Love. Rodney, fly the Jumper. I'd rather not crash before we get to Atlantis."

"What has happened?" Teyla asked as she joined us. She had been meditating in the back of the Jumper.

I explained to her as we laid Colonel Sheppard on one of the benches. "Rodney, make certain you let Atlantis we'll need a medical team in the Jumper Bay. Possible poisoning."

"What?" Rodney cried.

I ignored his outburst and began examining the Colonel. Upon check his left hand I noticed a thin red line across it. "Colonel, why must I always be the last one to know about these things?"

"He is a proud man, Dr. Beckett. He will not worry about himself until everyone is safe within the walls of Atlantis."

Before I could respond in agreement, he began to stir. "Colonel," I said, grabbing a pen light from my medical equipment. As I shined the light in his eyes, I detected a slight enlargement of his pupils. His breathing was slow as well.

"Doc..." he gasped out. "Thirsty."

Teyla brought over a canteen and looked up at me expectantly. I nodded in approval and helped Colonel Sheppard sit up. "Take it easy," I told him.

"What's... Wrong with... me?"

"You've been poisoned, Colonel. Otho's knife sliced your hand. Did you not feel the sting, Son?"

He stared up at me with feverish eyes and seemed quite confused. "Who's knife?"

"Carson, why can't he remember?" Rodney asked as he followed the first Jumper into the event horizon.

"He's just confused, Rodney," I replied. I patted Colonel Sheppard on the arm. "Just rest now, I'll get you into the infirmary and we'll sort this mess out."

* * *

"How's he doing, Carson?"

"Ah, Elizabeth. He's doing fairly well. He became a bit agitated from the confusion he was experiencing so we gave him a light sedative. It was quite scary for a bit there, but the ECG shows improvement. Once he wakes up again, I'll give him some activated charcoal."

She winced. "I'm sure he'll love that."

"Aye."

"Where's his team?" she asked, looking around the room. She was probably a bit surprised because whenever a member of their team was laid up in the infirmary, it was hard for me to get them to leave.

"I practically had Major Lorne remove them from my sight. It was quite interesting to see him up against Ronon, though."

"Doc."

Elizabeth and I moved over to his bed. "Colonel. How are you feeling, Son?"

"Wiped out and kind of dizzy."

"That's to be expected," I replied. "I'm going to give you some activated charcoal. It helps bind the poison and you should feel better by the morning."

John gave me a look before saying anything. "I really have to take that."

"Yes, Colonel."

"Yuck."

I smiled in sympathy. "Definitely."

"Hey! When were you going to tell us he was awake!"

It was Rodney's turn to get a look from the Colonel. "Don't shout so loud. And besides, I just woke up!"

Rodney had the good sense to look sheepish. I shook my head and went back to get the charcoal ready and give him a few moments to be with his friends. I find that friendship can be one of the best medicines around.

I joined them ten minutes later and saw that John's face was flushed from the excitement. "All right, that's enough. The Colonel needs his rest now."

"We will see you in the morning, John," Teyla said, bowing her head towards him in the Athosian fashion. Colonel Sheppard did the same. "Rest well."

"Thanks."

"Rodney."

"What?" he asked me. "Why do I have to leave too?"

Colonel Sheppard raised an eyebrow at him. "You really don't want to witness me puking that stuff back up, do you?"

Rodney's face paled at that. "See you in the morning, Sheppard!"


	32. The Long Goodbye Tag

Title: Hell Hath No Fury  
Rating: PG  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine...  
Note from the author: There is a slight Shep/Weir tone here.

I glanced up at Teyla, only she saw Thalen, not me. I had tried to reason with him, but gave up because it didn't seem to do any good. Suddenly Teyla had her P-90 trained on us.

I heard Thalen try to convince her it was me. I know she won't believe it. I wanted to shout at her, tell her it was all right for her to fire that weapon. She knows me better than anyone, she will do what she has to do.

I hope Elizabeth's all right. I can only imagine how she's dealing with this. I don't think she's ever fired a gun. At least not at real people. After the Genii took over the city, she insisted on learning how to use a 9 mil.

_If I don't destroy her, Sheppard, Phoebus will. She is angry at me for leaving her. For falling in love with another who was on our enemies' side. She will not forgive me._

Thalen paused. _I am sorry for this. I had no idea she would harbor these feelings for so long. I will leave you now..._

I felt a sharp pain in my head and then nothing for a few minutes. I blinked to see Teyla standing over me. She doesn't believe it's me so I won't even try to convince her.

When I woke up, I was safely ensconced in an infirmary bed, head still pounding unmercifully. I looked to my right to see Elizabeth sleeping soundly. "Hey, Carson," I said as the physician walked over.

"Colonel," he replied.

I flinched as he shined the pen light in my eyes. "Ouch!"

"A bit light sensitive."

"A bit?"

He smiled. "Sorry, Colonel."

"How long did it take for Thalen to..."

Carson jotted something in my chart before replying. "From what I could tell he was gone before you even got here, but since I didn't have the equipment to check, I don't know exactly when."

I nodded. "I think it was just after I shot Elizabeth, or Phoebus, rather. Thalen left her for another woman. A woman who was on the other side of their war. Apparently Phoebus didn't take it so well."

"Ya think so, Lad?" Carson said with a chuckle.

"How's Elizabeth?"

"She's doing better. Phoebus has been gone for about an hour."

I sighed in relief. "That's good to hear."

"Aye," Carson replied.

I watched as Elizabeth slept peacefully. I could still feel the softness of her lips on mine... how they tasted... Whoa there, Shep!

"Colonel?"

"I didn't do anything!"

Carson stared at me in confusion. "I didn't say you did, but I have never seen your face so red."

I cleared my throat. "My headache is worse," I lied, effectively lying down and ending the conversation.

"Think you can lie to me..." I heard Carson mutter as he left the room.


	33. Coup dEtat Tag

Title: Gaseous Chemicals  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

I left Elizabeth's office and headed to my quarters. My heart started beating rather quickly and I felt sick to my stomach. I felt the familiar tickle in my throat as a deep cough formed. It finally burst through and when I finished, I noticed something bright red on my hand.

What the hell? Time to get to the infirmary! I don't care how shocked Carson is going to be with me coming in of my own free will; even I knew this was bad. Could this be a delayed reaction to the gas they used on us?

My stomach pains seized me and I fell to one knee. I heard someone call out to me, but I couldn't really answer him or her. All I kept thinking of was how nice it would be to lay down and sleep...

The next time I opened my eyes I was in the infirmary. A nurse smiled at me and said she was going to get Carson. I just nodded slowly because my head was pounding so hard I felt as if my brain were going to ooze out of my ears!

I glanced to my right when I heard a noise. That could be Genii! I looked around for my P-90, but I couldn't find it. I took a deep, yet shaky breath and stepped off the bed. I nearly keeled over, but I was able to catch myself.

I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest as I moved closer to the sound. Whoever it was seemed to be rummaging through one of Carson's medicine cabinets. As I was about to swing at the man, I felt myself falling to the floor, unable to stop as my heart rate beat in time with my headache and the breathing wasn't so great.

As I lost consciousness, the last thing I heard was Carson's Scottish brogue filled with exasperation. "Bloody hell, Colonel!"

Again I woke up in the same position. This time I had an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose. I was still very tired. I guess it wasn▓t a restful lapse in consciousness. I removed the mask for a minute to cough and that brought Carson running towards me.

"Colonel, how are you feeling?" he asked, checking my pulse.

"Like crap, Doc. I'm guessing whatever was in that gas Ladon set on me and my team didn't sit well with me."

Carson chuckled. "You have a talent for understatement, Son. Now do you want to tell me what you were doing when I witnessed you dropping to the floor by that cabinet like a sack of potatoes?"

I stared at Carson in confusion. "The last thing I remember is talking to Elizabeth."

⌠Colonel, you've been in here for five hours and you were quite a ways from her office when you first collapsed. Major Lorne found you."

"Crap," I muttered then began coughing again for good measure. "How bad was this chemical that I don't remember what happened to me earlier?"

Carson glanced over at the ECG screen before responding. "Ladon brought a sample of it over. He feels responsible for what happened to you, and that he should! He could have at least brought you all up to speed on what he was doing."

"Don't worry about it, Doc. Ladon wasn't originally gonna let us leave anyway so I don't see why he would tell us about the gas."

I could tell he wasn't really satisfied with my answer. Hell, I wasn't, but it's over and done with so there's no point in dwelling on it right now."

I yawned and realized that I was still tired so sleep was sounding like a great idea.

Carson noticed too. "I'm going to give you some pain meds, Colonel, then let you get some rest before Rodney bounds in here and yells at me for not telling him you're awake. Because then you won't be able to rest!"

"Thanks, Doc," I replied with a laugh.


	34. Michael Tag

Title: Regrets  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Note: Okay, this probably the shortest tag fic EVER, but I had a hard time with this one. I hope it came out all right.  
Dislcaimers: Not mine.

I'm starting to regret what we did to that Wraith... Michael. I agree with Carson, still do, that the retrovirus could work, but we bit off more than we could chew. I have a feeling it's going to kick us in the ass sometime in the near future.

I lost another soldier under my command and almost lost Teyla. We need to stop doing this to ourselves. I know we're not perfect, but the consequences of our actions without looking ahead has nearly destroyed us many times.

Who would have thought I'd be so worried about my consquences?


	35. Inferno Tag

Title: Go Figure  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

"Dr. McKay."

"Ah, Norina."

"Have you seen Colonel Sheppard?"

The smile from Rodney's face disappeared. Why did they always go for Sheppard? "I haven't... why?"

"I was speaking to a friend who was being led to the Orion by him and they were nearly in a cave in from the seismic activity. Colonel Sheppard was struck by falling debris. He did not lose consciousness, but he was a bit disoriented."

"Go figure."

Norina eyed him in confusion. "Doctor?"

Rodney shook his head. "He tends to downplay his injuries. Especially when other people are involved."

"I see," she replied, eyes sparkling. "Even though that is a stupid thing to do, it's also very brave."

"Yes, well, we can't all be heroes, can we?"

Before Norina could reply, Rodney stalked off, determined to locate his yet again injured friend. He understood the need to make sure everyone else was all right, but you can't always do that when you're lying in a coma!

He keyed his radio. "Sheppard, come in." He waited a few minutes. "Sheppard?"

There was still no response by the time Rodney arrived at John's quarters so he called Carson to meet him there and began to override the lock. He had just opened the door when Carson came up to him.

"When was the last time you-- bloody hell!" Carson exclaimed, rushing to John's now semi-conscious form on the floor.

John blinked, looking up at the physician. "Carson... tired and my head doesn't feel so great."

"I really wish you would have stopped to see me, Colonel. Head injuries are not something to take lightly," Carson admonished as he checked John's pupils. "Sluggish. Yes, definitely a concussion. I'm calling for a gurney!"

John attempted to sit up. "I'll just walk, Doc," he replied and immediately clutched his head in pain.

"Sheppard, don't be stupid!" Rodney said.

"Rodney, shut up and grab a pillow off the bed. And Colonel, you need to relax. Now... Medics to Colonel Sheppard's room."

John woke up feeling groggy but no longer in pain. He could definitely live with that! He noticed that Rodney was fast asleep on the chair next to his bed. Across from him, Ronon was passed out on another bed and Teyla was on the floor meditating.

Teyla must have sensed him looking at her because she opened her eyes. She smiled and stood up. "Colonel, it is good to see you awake."

"How long was it this time?" John asked.

"Almost two days. Dr. Beckett was worried it was worse than he realized. He was going to do another scan if you did not wake up soon."

John nodded. "I guess I just can't stay away from him," he replied, reaching over to grab a tissue. Teyla watched in mild amusement as John crumbled and tossed it at Rodney.

Rodney stirred, but didn't move. Carson appeared with a grin on his face, handing John a rubber band. "Nice, Doc."

John aimed at Rodney's nose...

"OW!" he cried, rubbing his nose. He glared at the three who were laughing hysterically. "Real mature!"

"Relax Rodney," Carson said as he checked John's pupils. "Feeling better, I take it? Your pupils are back to normal and you have coloring in your face."

"Much better thanks."

Carson smiled. "Good. And now, might I suggest you come see me after you receive your injuries, but before they become life threatening?"

"Doc, you know I'll try, but I can't make any promises. I have to make sure everyone's safe before I worry about myself."

"And who's gonna help everyone else if you're half dead?" Rodney asked.

Teyla nodded. "Besides, Colonel, you must remember that we are there to help you as well."

"I know," John replied with a smile. "I know."


	36. Allies No Mans Land Tag

Title: Reactions  
Rating: G  
Author: MacGateFan  
Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

The flight back to Atlantis was pretty uneventful. John found the most comfortable bed he could (as far away from the infirmary as possible) and fell asleep. He woke up an hour later with a pounding headache and a feeling that his brain were going to ooze out of his ears.

John reached over and picked his tac vest off the floor. He found the packet of Advil and swallowed them dry. Leaning back on the bed and massaging his temples, John closed his eyes.

When John opened his eyes again, he realized he was in the infirmary. At least his headache was mostly gone. He looked around and spotted Carson talking with one of the nurses. The physician smiled when he saw his patient awake and walked over.

"Colonel."

"What happened, Doc? The last thing I remember was feeling like Ronon was banging my head against the wall."

Carson nodded as he wrote John's vitals in his chart. "That's essentially what happened except it was the gas we used for the Wraith. You are apparently allergic to it. If we ever implement it, you'll have to stay as far away from the gas as possible until it dissipates. Too much inhalation could kill you."

"Yeah, I think I'll steer clear of that. When can I get out of here?"

"Have patience, Colonel. Your body has been through a trauma and you still have a fever. Besides it's best if I keep you here for observation."

John made a pouting face. "Come on, Doc, I'll be good!"

"I'm not falling for it, Colonel," Carson replied. "Now try to get some sleep."

"Yes, Dad," John muttered as he settled himself under the covers.

John heard Carson chuckling as he headed back to his office. He felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep when someone grabbed his arm and screamed for Carson. John's eyes snapped open and he looked up to see a terrified Rodney McKay standing next to him.

"Rodney, what are you doing?" John asked, irritation evident on his voice.

"Bloody hell, Rodney," Carson exclaimed. "You gave me a heart attack! What's wrong?"

Rodney's face turned a bright red. "I thought... I just... I mean... I thought he was passing out or something."

"It's called sleeping, Rodney," John told him.

Carson nodded. "Aye, you should try it sometimes, like right now. And why don't you leave and quit trying to kill my patients... and me!"

"Nicely handled, Doc."


	37. AdriftLifline

Title: Aftermath

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Characters: John, Rodney

Disclaimers: They're not mine, unfortunately.

* * *

John slowly got up from the weapon's chair. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he attempted to steady himself. He did not relish the idea of falling over in front of the scientists around him. He was feeling physically and emotionally drained and all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and sleep for a month!

But of course he couldn't do that. Not when he had to make sure everyone was safe and supervise the arrival of personnel from the Apollo. The next few days were going to be drawn out and it looked as though he wouldn't be sleeping for at least another 72 hours.

John took another deep breath as he stepped into the corridor leading up to main tower. He hoped he didn't look as he currently felt... drunk. He was so out of it that he didn't see Major Lorne coming around the corner. The two men slammed into one another and John fell to the floor, wincing slightly as he head made contact.

"Colonel!" Lorne exclaimed, helping John to his feet. "Are you all right?"

He shook his head, ignoring the sudden pain emanating from the back of his head. "Just fine, Major. As you were."

"If you're certain...?"

"I am. I just gotta head up to the control room before Rodney starts yelling that I'm taking too long."

Lorne grinned. "Understood."

* * *

The minute Colonel Carter headed back inside, John leaned over the balcony and got sick. He wasn't sure what that was from, maybe the bump on his head? He didn't think he hit that hard, but who knows. John noticed that his vision was kind of blurry too.

Yep, concussion. Not a bad one, but enough to be annoying.

Knowing he should be heading to infirmary John turned to take a step towards the door, but instead made an impressive and graceful drop to the ground. "Maybe I'll just stay here a minute," he said as a wave of dizziness washed over him.

"Sheppard, I was researching that snake creature thing and I was..." Rodney trailed off when he saw his friend falling. "It never fails, does it? What the hell did you do to yourself this time?" he asked, helping John to his feet.

John didn't respond as Rodney led him to the infirmary. After a few minutes of silence, John finally spoke up. "I lost another member of my family, Rodney."

"I... what?" Rodney was not expecting that at all.

"We lost Carson a few months back and it hurt so much. I didn't tell anyone, but it did. And now we lost Elizabeth. You guys are family to me and I can't even protect you all!"

Rodney stopped walking and forced John to look at him. "First of all, no one said you had, or even could, protect us at all times! Second of all, the person who is risking their life rarely sees the point of view of the person who is watching the other risk their life. Carson and Elizabeth risked everything for us! Don't tarnish that by feeling sorry for yourself!"

John stared at Rodney, willing the tears to stay in place. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, remembering the words he said to Carter not even 20 minutes ago. Elizabeth was alive out there somewhere and he was going to find her because he had hope.

Atlantis was hope.


	38. Reunion

Title: Storybook Hero

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Teyla was sitting worriedly next John. He had been unconscious a bit longer than normal for a Wraith stunner blast. She was about to lean over and check his pulse for the fifth time when he began to stir.

John blinked as he remembered where he was. He sat up immediately when he remembered where Rodney has gone to. Before Teyla could stop him, he jumped to his feet, immediately regretting it.

He could feel Teyla's arm on his shoulder as the dizziness threatened to drop him to his knees. "John?" she asked.

"Give me a minute," he replied, taking deep breaths. When everything finally stopped spinning, John looked at Teyla. "How long?"

"It has been nearly two hours since Rodney was taken... and you were hit with the stunner. John, are you certain you're all right? I have never seen unconscious for so long after."

John nodded. "I think so, but I am really sore and my head is pounding. Did I get in a fight or something?"

The pair heard chuckling and turned to see Ronon's 'friends' standing there. "You know, Sheppard," Rakai said, "you really need to learn how to defend yourself."

John ignored his sore limbs and rushed towards the cell doors. "What the hell did you do?"

Tyre chuckled. "Just took our frustrations with Ronon out on you. The Wraith have some kind of substance that they use to wake up their prey. How's your head?"

"How could you do such a thing?" Teyla asked, quite disgusted with the three before her.

The three merely laughed as they walked away. John sighed. "Well that would explain how sore I am... Not only did they beat the crap out of me, but it was enough that I don't remember what happened."

Teyla eyed him more closely now that she knew that something was wrong. She could see a light bruise was forming around his left eye and that his breathing seemed hitched. Gunfire suddenly erupted nearby and Carter came into view along with a group of Marines. "You all right?"

"Well, it's about time!" John replied. "Any longer and we would have had to save ourselves."

As John headed to the infirmary for his post mission check up, he knew he was going to regret covering up the fact that he was injured... again. Sometimes he felt as if he were in a story and the writer was getting off seeing him in pain.

Dr. Keller was waiting for him when the infirmary doors opened. She stood with her arms crossed and John almost turned tail and ran. She hadn't been the CMO for very long, but Jennifer Keller was a very determined physician.

"Um... hi Doc."

She shook her head and led him to one of the beds where he sat down. He had to admit that after that adrenalin rush in the warehouse, he was ready to take a nice long nap. Although the relenting headach was telling him otherwise.

"Colonel Sheppard I don't like hearing of injured personnel through a third party. You need to come to me when something happens. This expedition can't afford to lose you as well."

John blinked. He hadn't thought of that. They had lost Carson, Elizabeth, and almost Ronon within the span of three months! If he was having such a hard time dealing with this, what about everyone else.

"Sorry, Doc, I'll come to you next time." She gave him a look that said she didn't believe him. He shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to play it one injury at a time"

John was heading to his quarters after being released from the infirmary. As he turned the corner, he saw Ronon standing at his door. The Sateden seemed distracted as he approached.

"Hey," he said. "Looking for me?"

"Yeah."

He waited a few minutes, but Ronon didn't say anything else. "You know you really don't have to say anything, I understand."

"Yeah. Thanks."

John chuckled as his friend jogged off. He was about to step into his quarters when he felt strong arms wrap around him and suddenly let go. He continued to chuckle, ignoring the twinge of pain from being squeezed.


	39. Doppleganger

Title: Emotions

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Sam greeted the team as they returned to Atlantis. Rodney began speaking to her rapidly about some energy reading he had picked up. Teyla glanced at John, who was silently had his P-90 to one of the airmen. He had been quiet the whole mission and she was starting to be concerned. Ronon didn't seem to notice, or if he did, hadn't said anything. She stepped next to Sam and Rodney and spoke up.

"Excuse me, Colonel Carter, may I have a word?"

"Certainly, Teyla."

Rodney stared after them, stunned. "But... but I..."

"Let it go, McKay," Ronon replied with a chuckle.

Teyla sat down across from Sam. "Did something happen on the planet?" she asked. "Colonel Sheppard seemed distant when he returned."

"He has been like that for a few days now. I believe it may have something to do with that crystal. He hasn't told anyone about his dream and as far as I know, he hasn't talked to anyone about what happened to... Kate. I know that it has to be affecting him."

Sam nodded. "I agree, Teyla, but how do we get him to talk about it? From what I've seen, he doesn't seem like the type to open up readily."

* * *

John stopped by the infirmary for his post mission check up. He allowed Dr. Keller to poke and prod him and merely nodded when she gave him permission to go. He had just arrived to his quarters when Ronon came up to him. "Ready for our post mission jog."

"Nah," John replied. "I think I'm going to skip it today. I have a few reports to finish."

Ronon nodded. "I'll be on our usually route if you change your mind."

"Thanks."

John watched as Ronon jogged off. Normally he would relish in a long run, pushing himself until his legs screamed at him, until he could barely catch his breath. Today he was going to take a hot shower and sit in his room alone.

After he was finished, John picked up his guitar and sat down in the corner of the room. He closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall and played, thinking back on the last month.

As John hummed a tune tears began to flow. Why did he have to touch that stupid crystal? John strummed louder and louder, harder and harder. _It's your fault!_ his mind screamed. _Your fault! You're the reason Kate is dead! You're the reason Rodney nearly died! You, Sheppard! YOU!  
_  
John screamed shoving the guitar away and stood up, trying to back up, but came against the wall. He could feel wetness dripping from his fingers and realized his fingertips were bleeding from strumming his guitar so hard.

He heard footsteps nearing him, but he couldn't move from that spot. It was like he was frozen with shock. He couldn't understand why people still wanted to help him especially when he couldn't seem to protect anyone.

"John."

The voice was quiet, but John immediately recognized it and blinked. "Teyla?"

"Are you all right?" she asked, taking one of his hands in hers. "Lets get you to the infirmary."

John nodded as he allowed her to lead him there. "I'm sorry, Teyla."

"For what, John?"

"Everything, but mostly for my lack of ability to protect everyone in this city."

"John Sheppard you have nothing to apologize for! You have done an outstanding job as protector of this city, but you have to realized you cannot protect every person in this city or galaxy. Believe me, I know."

John shrugged as Teyla helped him onto one of the beds. "I suppose so, but that doesn't mean I'm going stop thinking like this."

She nodded in understanding. "I admit that I feel the same at times too. Just remember that you are one man and there are others who are willing to do the same for you."

"Thanks Teyla."


	40. Travelers

Title: Distracted

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

As we walked through the forest of a planet Rodney had picked up a strong energy signature, I became distracted by my thoughts. Ever since Larrin and the Travelers kidnapped me I had nightmares of having Wraith beat the crap out of me and suck out my life. It has not been a pleasant week, let me tell you! That and the fact that I have fallen off my bed repeatedly from these dreams and now my bruises have bruises.

Since I wasn't in top form, and didn't admit it to anyone, I am glad that my distraction only caused me problems and not the rest of my team. I did not hear them once calling my name, which they were doing repeatedly.

No, I felt as if I were falling and couldn't catch myself. Stars erupted in my line of vision as I slammed into ground on my back. Oh yeah, more bruising!

"You idiot!" McKay exclaimed from above me. "Are you all right?"

Catching my breath, I opened my eyes to see Rodney, Teyla, and Ronon staring down at me from almost 10 feet. No wonder I'm in pain. Glancing around me, I noticed that I must have fallen into some kind of animal trap.

Great, I was never going to live this one down!

"John."

I'd better answer them. "Yeah," I replied, attempting to sit up. "Don't move, you may have severed your spine!" Rodney called.

I winced more from the pain than Rodney's screaming voice. "It may be bruised, but I doubt it's severed. "How about you get Keller out here and some equipment to pull me out instead of making comments."

"I'm coming down there."

"No, Ronon," I replied, my eyes getting heavy. "You can't do... do much for me down here."

"Sheppard!" Ronon called.

My eyes snapped open. "Still here, big guy."

"I'm going to get Keller," he said. "Be back soon."

"Teyla, maybe one of us should go down there," I could hear Rodney saying. I was going to argue with him, but sleep seemed like a much better idea.

_ "Larrin."_

She grinned almost evilly. "Sheppard. You do realize that I have to sent the Wraith after you. You have been responsible for many deaths within these last few months. Nevik and Silas, Kate, Elizabeth, Carson. You will be punished. You must be."

I took a step back when the Wraith suddenly appeared in front of me and before I could even scream, he shoved his hand onto my chest.

"Sheppard, calm down! Sheppard!"

I blinked, feeling wetness on my face and pain radiating throughout my whole body. "Rodney?"

"Yeah."

It was then I noticed I was still in the trap. "What the hell are you doing down here?"

"Well, it's gonna take some time for them to get through the forest since there's nowhere to land a jumper."

"Ok, so how did you get down here then?"

Rodney pointed at a rope that was dangling from above. "Teyla had this in her pack. She was going to come down, but I really didn't want to sit up there by myself while you two had all the fun."

"Yes, Rodney," I replied. "So much fun."

Rodney handed me a few pills and water. "Take these."

"What is it, Rodney?" I asked after noticing him staring at me.

"Are you all right?"

"Besides the fact that my head and back are killing me."

"Yes, besides that."

"Fine, why?"

Rodney took a deep breath. "Because you were having one helluva nightmare. You kept screaming and you... you were crying."

I don't know if it was my head injury or the worry in Rodney's voice, but I told him about my dream. I told him how long it's been happening. How with each mission lately, the feelings of guilt seem to be crushing me, not letting me breath.

"I don't know what to do, Rodney. I know that I'm not at fault for any of it, but I still can't helping feeling like it."

"To be honest," Rodney replied, "I have no clue what you should do except that remember that you have friends who are here for you and will listen. You also have friends who feel that same guilt crushing them."

I stared at him in surprise. I didn't even think that anyone else would be feeling the same way. God, that sounds so arrogant. I don't have the monopoly on guilt.

"Thanks, Rodney."

"Anytime, but don't tell anyone we... uh..."

"Never."


	41. Tabula Rasa

Title: Omoidasu

Rating: G

Author: lj userseramercury

Author's Note: Omoidasu is Japanese for "to remember".

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Ronon led John to the infirmary (which seemed to take longer at the rate John was going) after dropping the roots off with Teyla and Rodney. He turned when John's footsteps ceased. His friend looked utterly lost and confused. "Hey," Ronon said. "Sheppard."

John blinked and was quiet a few more minutes before speaking up. "Am I a good person?"

"Yeah."

"K..."

John was exhausted and almost a pasty white, Ronon noticed, once they arrived in the infirmary. He helped John onto one of the available beds and saw Dr. Keller heading over. "Thank you for getting those roots, Ronon," she said as she began to examine her patient.

"It was nothing," the Satedan replied. "I'm just glad Teyla was able to get it out to everyone."

"Well, it looks like the gas did not effect Colonel Sheppard at all. It seems as though he's going to need a higher dosage of it. Maybe even something a bit more concentrated."

Ronon shrugged at her comment. "No clue what you just said, but I'll get some of the root from Teyla."

Jennifer smiled. "Thanks."

"You're a doctor?" John asked. At her nod, he continued. "What happened to me? Why am I so weak and why can't I remember?"

Jennifer explained the situation but before she could finish, her patient had drifted off to sleep. "Just as well, Colonel," she said, looking around the room for any of the nurses. "Mike, Suzy, could you get Colonel Sheppard settled in please?"

John woke up in the infirmary still a bit confused. He looked around the room and remembered having a conversation about the cure being distributed in time and working. Teyla also mentioned that if it had been delayed any longer, more people would have died.

More people? Who had they lost?

John decided to do a checklist of who he'd seen. Teyla, Ronon, Rodney, Lorne, Dr. Keller... He stopped his train of thought. Two people were missing from that list and no one offered to tell him what was going one with them, or anyone else for that matter.

"Doc!" he called. Although the person he was expecting did not appear. Keller did. Not that he didn't like the woman, but he really needed to see his friend.

"Colonel Sheppard, I'm happy to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Confused," he replied. "Where are Carson and Elizabeth?"

Jennifer stared at him a few moments, not certain what to say. She thought that after the large dosage of the root, John's memories would have returned by now. She took a deep breath to reply, but he spoke up before she did.

"They're dead, aren't they?"

"It's... complicated."

"How is it complicated? They either are or they're not."

"Dr. Keller, I can take over from here," Teyla said, giving the young woman a smile. She smiled in relief and headed back to her office to look over John's blood work again. "John, Carson died nearly a year ago."

John shook his head. "No. I just saw him yesterday for my post mission check up."

Teyla stepped closer and took his hands in hers. "Yes, John. He is."

_"Dammit. Tell him I'll meet him halfway."_

_"Just stay put, Doc."_

_"The sooner I get this thing out of my sight, the better."_

"No..." John squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to keep the tears from falling, but they did anyway. "Elizabeth?"

"Taken by the Replicators."

_"You're coming with us."_

_"I can't keep them frozen much longer!_

_"We're not leaving you behind!_

_"If you don't leave right now, none of us will get out of here, so go. That's an order!"_

_"Elizabeth!"_

_"Go!"_

John opened his eyes to see Teyla crying as well. She leaned her head towards his, John following suit.


	42. Missing

Title: Just Grazed

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Notes: Yeah, I did enjoy the episode, but there can never be enough Shep whump, and you all know it so I invented some for this one.

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

"Sheppard!"

"Relax, Rodney, I'm fine, it just grazed me," John replied as arrows continued to whiz past them. "Now quit your yapping and dial the 'Gate!"

Once they were back in Atlantis, a med team had arrived to help Teyla and Jennifer to the infirmary. Rodney asked John about his arm again. "Are you sure you're all right?'

John nodded. "I'm gonna get cleaned up and then have it looked at. I'll catch ya guys later."

By the time John returned to the infirmary for his check up, Teyla was sitting quietly in one of the beds so he walked over to her. "Well? How are you feeling?"

"I am fine," she replied, "Doctor Keller insists I remain in bed. She fears I have a concussion."

John nodded. "Well, you should listen to her. Just got back from New Athos. Bola Kai are all gone. Must have scared 'em off. Rodney's got teams going out there to collect clues about what happened to your people."

"Did you find Nabel?" Teyla asked.

"Searched the entire planet," John told her. "No life signs."

"He must have escaped through the Gate."

John was a bit surprised by the vehemence in her voice, but realized he probably would have been just as pissed. "More likely he's lying dead somewhere."

"He knows what happened to my people. I will find them."

"I know you will, and we're gonna help you, but you've gotta rest and get your strength back."

Teyla stared at a point beyond John. "Whoever did this will pay. I will make certain of it."

John is surprised by the fierceness in her voice, but Jennifer hobbled over before he can say anything about that. "Hey, Doc. How are you feeling?"

"Oh, it's just a sprain. I'll be fine," she replied, still feeling a bit ashamed about the way she acted off world.

Teyla watched as Jennifer moved closer. "Why is it that you are allowed to resume working and I am not?"

"Because I didn't take half the beating you did."

"I've suffered worse," came Teyla's reply.

"Yeah, well, I believe you but you're on my turf now, so you have to listen to me."

John could have listened to them argue back and forth all day, but he suddenly felt really cold and just wanted to go to bed. Besides, he could tell Jennifer wanted to talk to Teyla about something. "I'll check in on you later," he said.

The minute John returned to his quarters, he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt, then curled up into bed. Not only was he freezing, but it felt like his left arm was on fire. He realized that the injury he told Rodney he would get checked out never did get looked at.

"Rodney's going to kill me," he muttered, sliding out of bed.

As John slowly made his way to the infirmary, he had to grab onto the wall for support as dizziness washed over him. He laid his head on the cool surface and would have slid to the floor if arms hadn't caught him. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Rodney?"

"Yeah," he replied, putting an arm around his friend. "You didn't let anyone look at your arm, did you?"

"Maybe not," John replied weakly.

Rodney helped John onto one of the beds and he drifted off to sleep as he heard Teyla asking Rodney what happened. "Remember that arrow that he said just grazed him?" At Teyla's nod, he continued. "His arm was infected and whoever gave him his post mission check up did not do a thorough job!"

Teyla glanced over at John as Rodney ran off to find Jennifer. She could see him stirring and a few moments later, his eyes opened. "John?"

"Is Rodney finished shouting? How can a guy get any sleep around here?"

"He's just concerned, that is all," Teyla replied. "Just close your eyes again. If he wakes you up, he'll have me to deal with."

John chuckled. "Thanks, Teyla."

The next time John woke up, Teyla was sitting in one of the chairs meditating. She must have known he was awake because she opened her eyes. "How are you feeling?" she asked. "That infection really took it's toll on you."

"Much better. How long was I out of it this time?"

"Nearly two days."

"Damn!" John was silent for a bit before speaking again. "Did the search teams find anything?"

"They have not," she replied.

"We will find them, Teyla."

She nodded. "We will."


	43. The Seer

Title: Believing In Yourself

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not Mine.

* * *

While Carter and Woolsey headed down to see Todd, I decided to pay Davos a visit. I was curious about the man. Could he really see the future? Could he really predict what was to come?

I found himself curiously interested.

"Ah, Colonel Sheppard," Davos said. "I was wondering when you would come see me."

I smirked. "One would think you would know when."

"Yes, one would," he replied with a chuckle.

I watched as Davos regarded me. I could tell the man was deep in thought. "So..."

"Before we start, there is something I would very much like to talk to you about, Colonel." At my nod, he continued. "How deeply do you feel this... connection with Atlantis?"

I was stunned to say the least. I had definitely never shared that piece of information with anyone but Carson since he was the second strongest carrier of the ATA gene.

"I can hear a hum within these walls. I was even able to communicate with her. She, as well as I, believe you will be the one to deliver this galaxy from the Wraith. You are an integral part in it's survival."

"That can't be right," I replied. "I mean, hell, the last few months have got to tell you that!"

Davos sighed, obviously upset that I didn't believe in hmyself . "You must not dwell on that, Colonel. No one blames you for anything that has occured. You will save this galaxy whether you want to believe it or not."

I could practically hear Atlantis whispering in my ear that she believed in me too. She said that everyone in the city did as well, she felt it. And suddenly I was finding it to be a little more plausible.


	44. Millers Crossing

Title: Selfishness

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

I still couldn't believe Rodney really thought I was going to let the Wraith feed off him. There was no way in hell! I knew I was being selfish, but when you've been losing good friends for the past three months, it gets to you.

First Carson then Elizabeth and I almost lost Rodney to that damn glowing crystal.

Yes, I feel horribly guilty about this. Guilty about the fact that I wouldn't let Rodney do what he had to. Guilty that I talked a man into committing suicide. And even guilty that I didn't have the guts to do it myself.

I would have if Wallace hadn't made the choice. Don't get me wrong, having the life sucked out of you by a Wraith is no picnic, but I would have preferred that over Rodney going through it.

Hmm... does that make me selfish?

I must have really been deep in thought because I nearly ran into Teyla. "Sorry," I told her.

"John, are you all right?" she asked. "You've seemed distracted these past few days."

"I guess I have been," I admitted.

She nodded. "Would you like to talk about it?"

I was going to say no and be on my way, but something inside of me pushed me towards the conversation. "Yeah..."

About five minutes later, we were sitting in the mess hall, far from everyone else in the room. I told her everything that happened even though she probably read the mission report.

"Then I sort of... convinced Wallace." Teyla nodded slowly, waiting for me to continue. "I showed him pictures of Kaleb and Madison. He felt horrible and finally decided he would do it."

John looked at her, waiting for some sort of reply. Finally she spoke up, "John, you did what you had to do to save two friends. No one can blame you for that. And Wallace seemed to know his life was over the moment he kidnapped Jeannie."

"I guess, but I still feel like I killed the man."

"You did not kill him, John! Do not dwell on that. Instead focus on the fact that Rodney and Jeannie are alive. That Madison still has her Mother!"

Teyla was right, but that still didn't make me feel any better. At least right now. It seemed as if I would have to come to terms with this just like everything else. I took a deep breath and stood up.

"Thanks, Teyla."


	45. This Mortal CoilBAMSR

Title: One Last Message

Rating:

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not Mine.

* * *

John sighed as he packed the last of Elizabeth's things into a box. Looking around the room, he felt just as empty. So many losses within just the last year and it was starting to weigh down on him. He hadn't felt this way since Mitch and Dex died.

He glanced over at the desk. There were letters for himself and the others. John would have to pass those out, but he really didn't want to because that meant she was officially gone.

John stood up. No! Elizabeth Weir would never be gone! She was, and still is, the heart and soul of the Atlantis expedition. He would deliver the letters personally then bring her things back to Earth. Once he returned, he would sit on the balcony where they always talked and read the letter.

John returned from Earth a few days later. His friends were waiting for him. Teyla smiled and leaned her forehead to touch his. "How did things go?" she asked.

"It was horrible," he finally admitted after a few minutes. "Do you guys mind if I get changed first? I'll meet you in the mess hall in about 20 minutes."

Ronon nodded. "We'll be there."

John was about to leave when Rodney grabbed his shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine."

The three watched as John left the room. "This hit him harder than, Carson," Rodney mused. "Why do you think that is?"

"Because Elizabeth was the first one to believe in John. Remember, she was instrumental in getting him that promotion so he could stay here. I believe he feels as if he let her down."

After a quick shower, John headed to their balcony. They shared their joys, sadness, concerns here. Elizabeth was a constant in his life that he just hadn't been ready to lose. She was a great friend.

Taking a deep breath, John opened his letter...

Dear John,  
I've never written a 'Dear John' letter before, but I assure you, this kind is not the same. If you're reading this it means I'm dead. If that's the not the case, put this letter down immediately because that means you're going through my private things!

All joking aside, I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how much I've enjoyed your friendship. You were always there for me despite any disagreements we had... and there were many!

In the envelope you'll find a DVD. This is something I put together after we lost Carson. I hope you will share it with the other expedition members. This is a tribute to them.

And, John, don't grieve for me long. I know that I went down fighting. I know that I did this for you and everyone in Atlantis. Take care of yourself and remember that I will be with you all.

Your Friend,  
Elizabeth Weir


	46. Spoils of War

Title: Control

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

After walking Teyla to her room and making sure she would be all right for the evening, John headed down to his quarters. The fact that he could have been indirectly responsible for killing Teyla's child made him sick to his stomach.

That and the massive headache that was forming. He thought he'd be used to having Wraith queens invade his mind but obviously that was not the case. It was a good thing he had a stash of aspirin in his desk drawer.

John had just arrived at his quarters when he heard a familiar voice telling him to kneel. He resisted as well as he could but soon found himself kneeling and looking up at the Wraith queen circling him.

"You have failed them all," she said. "All your friends are dead. Why not end it all right now?"

"No! You're lying!" John exclaimed.

A sort of fog floated around them, then lifted to reveal the Gate room. Bodies had fallen everywhere. First he saw Carson and Elizabeth, their lifeless eyes staring back at him. He took a step back, only to trip over Ronon's body and seeing Rodney's next to the Satedan.

John shakily stood and that's when he saw Teyla on the stairs. He could tell she was still alive so he rushed to her side. "Teyla!" he said, taking her hand.

"This is all your fault, John! Everyone has died because you could not protect us! Even... even..."

John noticed her had strayed to her stomach. "God, Teyla, I am so sorry! I know words cannot even express what I'm feeling right now."

Teyla nodded. "I know, John, but I also know what would be just for all of us."

"Anything."

"Then you know what to do."

John stood up in the middle of the Gateroom, tears falling as he saw the destruction he could not prevent. And soon, as if on autopilot, John reached for the weapon strapped to his leg...

"Sheppard! Come on, snap out of it!" Rodney cried out. He had just gotten comfortable after the mission and was about to work on few things before bed when Sam had called him.

Apparently John had been wondering around the city almost as if he were sleep walking. Ronon saw him and when his friend hadn't responded, called for back up. They hadn't seen anything like it.

"Ronon, have you gotten a hold of Teyla yet?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

As if on cue, Teyla appeared. Her eyes widened when she saw what was happening. "John!" she said.

He blinked, turning to the sound of his voice. His eyes were open, but he seemed to be looking right through her. "I'm sorry, Teyla. I don't know how many times I can tell you. But you're right, I need to end this."

"No, John," she said, slowly moving closer.

"I... but what about Carson? What about Elizabeth? What about everyone who has died here that I couldn't protect?"

Teyla realized that with everything that happened within the past few months was finally taking its toll on her friend. Losing so many people, Atlantis' previous planet. So many things had gone wrong and he was bearing the weight of it all.

"John, Carson and Elizabeth made their own choices. So did everyone on this expedition team. Everyone knows how dangerous this work is, but they chose to do this. Just as you chose to."

John's voice cracked. "I didn't choose this. I ended up in charge because I killed my CO!"

"You had no choice! You have told me many times that he wanted you to do it! That he needed you too!"

"No!" John squeezed his eyes shut. "No! You're lying, get away from me!"

Everyone thought John was talking to Teyla, but he was talking to the Wraith queen. She was grinning. "I am going to win, John Sheppard. Now fire your weapon! End it all!"

"Noooo!" John exclaimed throwing the weapon away.

As he fell to his knees, strong arms guided him to the floor. John blinked up at Teyla then allowed the darkness to overcome him.

John woke up feeling exhausted and finding himself in an isolation room. He saw the call button beckoning to him, but didn't reach for it. Instead, John drifted off into a restless sleep.

John wasn't sure how long he slept, but he was happy no one was in the room. He felt ashamed and stupid for the way he acted.

They all probably thought he finally cracked. They were probably set to send him packing back to Earth. So this time, instead of calling for help, John removed his IV and quietly slipped out of the infirmary.

He wasn't as tired as he was when he first woke up but the trek to his quarters wore him out. John sank onto his bed. He knew they'd find him there eventually.

The chime to his door confirmed it... but he had just gotten there, hadn't he? A glance to the clock showed an hour had passed.

"Come in," he said tiredly.

"There you are," Rodney replied. "You've got everyone freaking out, wondering if you're all right."

"Sorry."

"Control this is McKay. Tell everyone to stop searching, I found him." Rodney eyed his friend worriedly. The last few months had really taken it's toll on John. "Wanna talk about it?"

John looked up at Rodney. He debated just saying no, but knew that if he didn't talk about his dreams, his feelings, it would continue to eat him up inside. John swallowed around the lump in his throat and taking a deep breath, he began.


	47. Quarantine

Title: Relapse

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Of all the things I thought I'd be doing today, climbing up the side of Atlantis wasn't one of them. Most of us were still on inactive duty because of the Kirsan fever, myself included. Of course I wouldn't evade that because I'm the Pegasus Galaxy's version of a dartboard.

Anyway, I'd better pay attention to what I'm doing. Dr. Keller is going to be pissed enough as it is that I'm climbing so soon after being sick. Not to mention what would happen to me should I fall. No! Don't look down, John, just concentrate on getting to the control room.

I could feel the adrenaline pumping through me as I lifted myself onto the balcony. This relapse was not going to be pretty. The virus had literally knocked us on our asses. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed one of the plants and slammed into the window, wincing as the pounding in my head increased.

I ignored it and set to work.

The adrenaline was starting to wear off by the time Lorne and I had lifted Radek into the vent. I could feel Sam's eyes on me.

"John, are you all right?" she asked.

"I'll be better once we reset the power."

She didn't look so convinced, but let it go. Once Radek completed his task, the doors began to open and I began to feel nauseous. It seemed as if my brain was going to ooze out of my ears.

I blinked, looking at Sam. Uh oh she seemed concerned which meant I must have spaced out. I really couldn't take it anymore and felt myself losing balance.

"We've got you, Sir!" Lorne said as I allowed the darkness to take me away.

* * *

"I told him to rest," I heard Dr. Keller said.

"He was," Teyla replied in my defense. "We were just talking when the doors closed. If Colonel Sheppard hadn't climbed up the tower, who knows what could have happened."

Rodney nodded. "I would have died from a hyperglycemic reaction!"

I blinked. "Guys, could you not talk so loud?"

"Colonel."

"Hey, Doc. Sorry about the not taking it easy part."

Keller smiled, patting my shoulder. "It's all right, but you'll be in here for another day or so. You're still suffering from the after effects of the Kirsan virus. Your temp is holding steady at 100 degrees. Just let me know if you start to feel nauseous and I'll give you something for that."

"Gotcha."

She turned to face my team. "Ten minutes," she told them then headed to her office.

"Everyone all right?"

Teyla nodded, smiling. "We are well enough, John. Get some rest."

I returned the smile and watched her leave. "Ronon?"

"Huh?"

I had caught him staring at the Doc. I would have to ask him about that later... when I can defend myself.

"I'm good. Later."

I was surprised that Rodney hadn't said much. Then I remembered what he had planned on doing before the lockdown. "Rodney? You okay?"

"I screwed up, John."

Okay, now I know something's wrong. Rodney almost never calls me by my first name. "With Katie?"

"Of course I was nervous as hell," he said. "But when the alarm went off for the quarantine, I pretty much forgot what I went in there for and began freaking out because there were no radios or computers in the lab."

I saw where this was going. Rodney probably ran through every possible doomsday scenario out loud to Katie. The poor girl probably didn't know what to think.

I nodded for Rodney to continue when he paused. "I felt feverish and went to lie down on the floor. I completely forgot about the ring and Katie saw it fall out of my pocket. I finally spilled out that I was going to propose. Then I told her it wasn't a big deal because we were going to die anyway."

I inwardly winced at that.

"I know what you're thinking and you're right. It was stupid, but it came out before I could stop myself. Before I came to see how you were doing, I stopped to talk to see her. I told her I wasn't ready. I knew I wasn't because I need to learn to control my fears before it consumes both of us."

Rodney looked down at the floor again. This is definitely something that's bothering him because the only time he talks this much is when it's science related.

"What did she say?"

"Bye."

My stomach flopped. I would normally chalk it up to nausea but right now it was for Rodney. Saying bye meant Katie was letting him go and it just may be for the long haul. Of course, I wasn't going to say that.

"Hey, just because she said bye doesn't mean it's forever. You admitted to her you weren't ready, but that didn't diminish the feelings you have for her, did it?"

Rodney looked up at me with hopeful eyes. "No it didn't."

"There you go. Now leave me alone cause I'm tired and Keller's going to kick your ass since you've been here longer than ten minutes."

He nodded, but walked closer to me. "And thanks."

"Anytime, Rodney."


	48. Harmony

Title: Just Another Day At the Office

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John felt tired and dizzy as Rodney dialed Atlantis. Glancing at his left shoulder, he knew why. Toran had gotten a lucky shot off just as the mini-drones killed him. He didn't say anything about it because he wanted to make certain Harmony was safely home before he took care of himself.

John new he should have at least wrapped it but if he had, Rodney would have noticed and would have insisted he get it looked at. John, however, wanted to get back to Atlantis and take a long hot shower.

Rodney looked up from the remote after punching in his IDC. That's when he saw the dark red stain on his friend's arm. "Oh my God, what happened?"

"Lets go, Rodney," John replied, heading up the stairs to the 'Gate.

Rodney rushed after him, but John had already stepped through the event horizon. The scientist was not surprised to see his friend unconscious the minute he dematerialized. "Rodney?" Sam asked, kneeling next to John.

"He told me he was fine! How did I not notice that!"

"Relax," Sam said as Keller and her team arrived. "Why don't you tell me how that may have happened?"

Rodney nodded and explained their adventure as they headed to the infirmary. Upon arrival, they saw Ronon and Teyla waiting on news. "I knew I should have gone," Ronon said.

"And you would have scared Harmony out of her mind," Rodney replied. "Look, it wasn't like we knew the Genii were going to be added into the mix."

"It's all right, Rodney." He was still amazed at how Teyla could calm him with just the sound of her voice. "Dr. Keller was just saying John is going to be fine. He's just tired from the blood loss."

Keller nodded, walking over to them. "That a he has a low-grade fever. He should be fine a couple of days."

"Can I see him?" Rodney asked.

"Sure, but not too long, he needs his rest."

John cracked an open when he heard footsteps coming towards him. "I felt a sting on my shoulder but I didn't realize I had actually gotten shot. I just thought one of the drones accidentally grazed me."

"Well it's a good thing that guy had bad aim," Rodney replied.

"Yeah," John agreed. "Although I'm a bit offended you didn't save my life like you did Harmony's."

Rodney just glared at him.


	49. Outcast

Title: Most Important

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not Mine

* * *

John tossed his duffel bag onto the floor. All he wanted to do was take a hot shower and sleep for days. That replicator had really beaten the crap out of him. That and he was already feeling emotionally drained from his Father's funeral.

He bypassed Dr. Keller for his post mission check up by charming one of the nurses. John had told her he was fine and just needed some sleep and a shower and she agreed to let him go.

After a quick shower, John pulled on a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. He then trudged to his bag and took out the DVD Dave had given him. It was from his Father. John was a bit surprised the man had decided to record himself in such a manner, but Dave said he had insisted on it.

John put the disc into the drive and waited for it to play. He took a deep breath as Patrick Sheppard appeared on the screen. His face looked drawn and pale.

_"If you're watching this it means that I have died, John. I've been a fool these past few years and I've tried constantly to get a hold of you, but I was being turned around at every corner. I even heard that you had been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel._

_I want to apologize for my behavior. I shouldn't have tried to force you into anything you didn't want to do. I remember my Father treating me the same way for a time and although that doesn't excuse my own actions, I hope that may explain them._

_John, I am very proud of you. I heard from General O'Neill how much you've changed and how much you are doing for your country. Of course he wouldn't let me know exactly what you were up to, but that's all right._

_I am sorry that things got out of hand and that I didn't accept your phone call before you left for you current assignment. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me because I love you, John, and I will love you forever no matter where you are or what you are doing."_

The DVD stopped playing and John sat silently staring at the screen. The aches in his head and back were pounding more forcefully now and he kind of wished he had let Dr. Keller have a look at him because he knew he wasn't going to get out of a stay in the infirmary when he asked for Tylenol.

John slid the laptop onto his bed and carefully went to stand. Pain radiated down his spine. Oh yeah, Dr. Keller was not going to be happy with him. Finding a position to walk, without looking like a complete idiot but wasn't painful, John headed out into the hall.

He was mere steps from the infirmary doors when Rodney came up from behind, slapping him in the back. He barely had time to react as he fell to his knees with a cry. "Rodney!" John growled.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

Keller must have heard the commotion because she came rushing out. "Colonel Sheppard?"

"Hey, Doc," John said. "Thought I'd pay you a visit."

Fifteen minutes later, John was resting with some wonderful painkillers. "How's he doing?"

"Dr. McKay," Jennifer replied, turning to face the scientist. "He should be fine, but he has some deep bruising. I'm not certain how he escaped without my knowing about this, though."

"Two words: flirting and nurse."

Jennifer nodded. "I'm inclined to agree with you," she replied. "It looks like I'll have to hold another staff meeting about that."

"Another one?!"

"According to Dr. Beckett, many of the nurses are not susceptible to Colonel Sheppard's charm and he's slipped away from many post mission check ups."

Rodney groaned. "That is so not fair!"

"I think the one person it effects the most is the Colonel for skipping them. You wouldn't have slapped him on the back, for one thing, if you had known about his injury."

"This is true." Rodney watched as John's eyebrows furrowed as if he were dreaming. "Um, do you mind if I sit with him?"

Jennifer smiled. "Not at all. Just don't stay too long."

Rodney was surprised to see tears on John's face and stepped closer to him. "Sheppard," Rodney said. "John?"

John's eyes snapped open and he looked over at his friend. "Rodney?"

"Yeah. You okay? And I'm not talking physically cause we all know the answer to that question."

John took a deep breath. "I miss my Dad."

Of all the things John could have said, Rodney was not prepared for that. He barely even knew the man's Father had still existed. It was rare for Rodney to see his friend so vulnerable.

"I received a DVD of him and he was so upset about not being able to get a hold of me and now I feel horrible because I didn't even try to contact him when we were on Earth after the Ancients kicked us out..."

Rodney pat John on the arm. "Hey, you couldn't have known. And besides if he was as stubborn as you, he would have to be just as much, if not more, at fault. You saw the video, you know what he really thought, does the past really matter anymore?"

"No, I guess not," John replied after a few minutes. "I know that my Dad loves me and he's proud of me."

"And that's the most important thing, right?" Rodney asked.

John smiled. "Right."


	50. Trio

Title: Shock

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Notes: Just a lovely little missing scene that includes Shep whump

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

John was quite happy to let Rodney, Carter, and Keller deal with the negotiations. He was never good at that kind of thing anyway because it always turned sour. He had just settled himself in his office to start on evaluations when Radek's voice echoed in his ear.

"Damn, Doc, not so loud," John replied with a wince.

"Sorry, Colonel, but we need your assistance down here in lab three."

"What's wrong?"

John heard Radek muttered something in Czech, then static. "Lorne this is Sheppard, get your team and meet me in science lab three."

"Yes, Sir!"

When John and the others arrived at the science lab, they saw scientists running around to different computers, shouting at each other. John spotted Radek rushing past him and grabbed the man's arm.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Oh thank God you are here! See that device in the corner?" At John's nod, he continued. "It needs to be turned off but no one in here has a strong enough gene to do so."

"Well then how did you turn it on?" John asked.

Before Radek could answer, a bolt of electricity flew from the device. The five soldiers ducked just in time, glancing at one another. John knew he had to turn that off before someone was killed.

"I'm going in," he told Lorne.

"Sir, are you crazy?"

"We can't just let that thing go until it's drained of power, we don't know how long that will be!"

Radek nodded. "He's right, Major. We cannot wait much longer."

John told everyone to take cover. Once he saw that they were remotely safe, John rushed towards the device. It felt like forever but he finally reached it and slammed his hand down. One last bolt of electricity raced up his arm and sent him flying.

* * *

Rodney was just leaving the infirmary with Jennifer when he heard someone calling for a medical emergency in one of the science labs. "I swear," he muttered, "someone better have a good explanation for this!"

He ignored Jennifer's warning to stay out of the med team's way as he raced after them. Once they arrived in the lab, he saw Radek within the fray as was Major Lorne. He quickly looked around for John and sighed.

The man couldn't catch a break, he thought as he watched the medics do their work. First John's Father dies then he had to deal with Replicator throwing him against walls, and now this. He really wanted to yell at whoever was responsible but right now he was more concerned for his friend.

Rodney could see how pale John was as the gurney whizzed past him. He was just glad no one had declared him dead. Shaking his head, he turned to Radek. "Once I find out how Sheppard's doing I'll want an explanation."

Before Radek could respond, Rodney turned and left. "Well," Lorne said, "that went well."

"Oh it will be worse later. He is too busy being worried to be angry right now," Radek replied with a sigh.

* * *

Jennifer watched helplessly as Dr. Cole set to work on Colonel Sheppard. She was exhausted and knew there wasn't much she could do with the rope burns on her hands, but she wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon.

She learned from one of the medics that the Colonel had received a nasty of an electrical shock from one of the Ancient devices the scientists found. Glancing to her right, she could see Rodney pacing back and forth. A few moments later, Teyla and Ronon joined him.

Jennifer decided to check with Dr. Cole and maybe give his friends some good news. She had just gotten to her when the doctor relaxed and took a deep breath. "Nice work, people, he's stabilized.

"Heather?"

"Oh, Jennifer. Colonel Sheppard's beaten the odds again. It seems he received at least 10 volts. Entry was his right hand and there are some minor burns on it, but nothing serious. We're just going to do an MRI to check for any brain injuries and monitor his cardiovascular and respiratory systems."

Jennifer nodded. "So everything seems to be in order?"

"It would appear so," Heather replied. "Although I recommend they come back in the morning to check on him. He's comfortable right now and needs his rest. Plus we still have some blood work to do and set up the ECG monitor."

"I'll let them know. Great job, Heather."

Jennifer headed over to John's team and shook her head as Rodney yelled at Ronon and Teyla. "And where were you?" he asked, glaring at Ronon.

"I was with Teyla. We were eating dinner. Look, I can't help that Sheppard didn't call me. Besides he wouldn't have if it was something do with the science labs. He knows I can't help him with stuff like that. If he needed me, he would have called me."

Teyla nodded. "You know the Colonel wouldn't have called me for a situation like that either, Rodney."

"Rodney, calm down," Jennifer said. "Colonel Sheppard is going to be fine. Dr. Cole is just going to monitor his heart and lungs for now but she doesn't foresee any problems."

"May we see him?" Teyla asked.

"Tomorrow. Right now he needs his rest," she replied. "And Rodney I know you could use some too."

Rodney shrugged. "I thought you wanted a beer."

"I did but now the exhaustion has caught up to me. I think I'm going to turn in. Rain check?"

"Rain check."

The next morning Rodney arrived in the infirmary to see Sheppard sitting up and eating breakfast. "How long have you been up?" he asked.

"Nearly two hours, Rodney," John replied. "I was surprised you weren't here then."

He nodded. "Yeah, well I had to yell a people for about two hours straight. That thing could have killed you!"

"And you could have killed me with that device on Doronda. It's all right, I'm fine. I'm gonna be sore as hell for a while from being slammed into the wall, but I'm alive, Rodney."

"Yeah," Rodney said. "Alive."


	51. Midway

Title: Worse As Usual

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John followed Ronon down the corridors of the Daedalus, nodding to everyone as they passed by. Slouching in the pilot chair did nothing for his sore ribs and he was suddenly finding it increasing difficult to breath deeply. Black dots invaded his vision and as Ronon called his name, John was falling to the floor.

When John woke up he noticed he was back on Atlantis. This was odd to him since before he collapsed he had been on the Daedalus and they were pretty far from their planet. John also noticed that it felt as if his chest has been smashed to pieces.

"Colonel Sheppard."

"Doc," he replied when Keller came up to him. "How long have I been out?"

Keller finished jotting a few notes in his chart before she responded. "It wasn't good, Colonel. You were in serious distress. Apparently, not only were you hypoxic, but that Wraith cracked a rib. Although when Ronon caught you from falling to the floor, the rib broke and it pierced your lung. They almost lost you en-route to Atlantis."

"That's why my chest feels like it does."

"That's why," she said with a nod.

John looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh they've been floating in and out since you were brought in last night, but I specifically told them to stay away until I've contacted them because you needed rest. I mean, Dr. McKay was here every 15 minutes and my staff couldn't treat other patients because he kept bothering them and asking how you were doing."

John chuckled, then winced at the sudden pain that flared. He felt Keller's hand rubbing his back soothingly. "Thanks, I'm fine. I don't suppose they could come in for a bit? I'd really like to see them."

"Of course they can, Colonel. I'll get them right now."

"Thanks, Doc."


	52. Kindred

Title: This Is Reality

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Everyone is silent as the pod is activated. I stare at Carson for a few minutes, but I can't bear to be in there much longer and rush out of the room. I don't understand this. Not that I wanted any kind of Carson, clone or not, to be blown up but why couldn't the clone have been?

And why couldn't the real Carson have survived instead like in all those science fiction movies and TV shows I used to watch growing up?

Because this is reality, John, a voice inside my head replied.

"Well, you know what? Reality sucks sometimes!" I growled, scaring the wits out of some random scientist who was walking buy. She probably thinks I'm nuts... I probably am.

I sighed. It was late and I was exhausted, might as well attempt to get some sleep. Sleep. Yeah, that had been hard to come by since Teyla was taken and I know it's going to be worse now that Carson was frozen a few floors beneath my quarters.

After changing into sweats and a t-shirt, I laid on my bed and began staring at the ceiling. I had nearly drifted to sleep when I heard a voice in my ear. "What is it Rodney?"

_"Just checking to see if you were... you know. You ran out of the room pretty quick."_

"I'm fine, Rodney," I replied grumpily. "I just want to try and get some sleep. Maybe you should do the same."

Rodney paused. _"No, I'm good right now. I'll be in my lab if you need anything or if you feel the urge to help turn on some things."_

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks Rodney."

_"Anytime! Hey, you should really check this--"_

I don't know what else he was saying because I turned the radio off and set it on the night stand. I felt myself drifting off to sleep the moment my head hit the pillow but it didn't last very long. I blinked up at the ceiling. I hadn't even gotten a chance to start dreaming.

The door chime wasn't helping the pounding headache that seemed to have surfaced. Taking a deep breath, I got up and went to the door. "Lieutenant Jones," I said, trying to hide my annoyance at being bothered. "What can I do for you?"

"Sir, it seems one of the DVD players is missing from the rec room."

I stared at him for a minute before responding. "Lieutenant, did you just wake me up to let me know about a DVD player?"

"I guess so, Sir. I apologize."

Before I could say anything else, Jones zipped away. By this time my head felt ready to explode and everything seemed really blurry. I decided that I needed to get to the infirmary. Taking one step into the hall, I felt myself falling...

When I came to I was in the infirmary. I saw Rodney sitting to my left and fiddling with his laptop. "Hey," I said.

"You're awake!"

"Astute as always, McKay."

Rodney merely glared at me as Keller came over. Of course the first thing she did was shine her penlight in my eyes. "How are you feeling, Colonel?" she asked.

"Not so tired anymore and the headache is just about gone."

Keller nodded. "Good, considering you've been out for almost a week."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Has there been any word on Teyla?"

"No," Rodney replied, looking down at the floor.

My stomach twisted in knots. It's been nearly a week and there's been no sign of Teyla. If I had trouble sleeping before I can only imagine what it's going to be like in the next few days.

And I think Keller was reading my mind because she said, "Colonel, if you, for one minute have trouble sleeping, come and see me immediately! I will prescribe something for that and poor Rodney wouldn't have to find you passed out in the hallway, all right?"

"Got it, Doc," I replied.

As she moved away, Rodney came over, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We'll find her, John."

"I know, Rodney," I said with a sigh, "but the waiting is killing us."


	53. Misbegotten

Title: Right To Survive

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

It had been two days since the destruction of the planet with Michael and the other Wraith. John and a team of Marines were off-world with a science team keeping them out of trouble. After that whole mess, his own team wanted a break, but he couldn't take one. If he stopped for a moment, he'd have to to think about what they did and right now, that wasn't something he wanted to do.

Besides he wasn't one to be cooped up in the city for long and this mission would take place on a planet they'd been coming to for a while. The people there were quiet and never disturbed them when they came by to collect samples or do more research. In exchange, the Atlanteans said they would provide them with protection from the Wraith.

It was turning out to be a good day... except for that feeling you get that something is about to go horribly wrong. John glanced at the Marines. It seemed they had that same feeling. John tapped his radio twice to contact the two stationed at the 'gate.

"Braxton, come in."

_"Yes, Sir?"_

"How are things on your end?"

_"Quiet, Sir."_ There was a pause. _"Holy shit!"_

"Braxton?"

_"Look towards the west, Colonel. Major storm activity closing in."_

John turned, eyes widening. The last time he had seen such dark and ominous clouds was when those hurricanes hit Atlantis. He could see that the other Marines were getting the science teams together.

"Dial the 'gate, we'll be there in 10."

_"Yes, Sir!"_

Before John could even move there was a loud crash and he lost all awareness as a flood of water washed over him.

"Colonel!"

Coughing and sputtering, John jumped up to a seated position, groaning in pain at his sore ribs and pounding head. He calmed himself and finally looked up at who was calling him. "Lieutenant Anderson?"

"Yes, Sir," she replied with a relieved smile. "You had me worried there for a minute."

"Did I? What happened?"

Anderson chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. She wasn't a doctor but she remembered her friend Jennifer telling her that with trauma to the head, the victim sometimes forgot what the catalyst was.

"We were slammed by a flash flood, Sir. I spoke with Captain Braxton earlier. He said all the scientists and other Marines were accounted for. Since we're stuck on the other side of a ravine, they had to get back to Atlantis to send a puddlejumper for us. They should be here in a about 20 minutes."

John nodded, noticing a nasty bruise on the side of the young lieutenant's face. He eyed her in concern. "Are you all right, Lieutenant?"

"Fine, Colonel," she replied, looking through her pack.

"Then why won't you look at me?" John realized that Anderson was favoring her left side. "Lieutenant, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him. "It's nothing, really," Anderson said as she continued to look through the pack. "I'll be fine, Sir."

John wasn't so sure and was about to let it go for the moment when a sudden movement caused the lieutenant to cry out in pain. "You are not fine, Lieutenant!" he exclaimed, getting up from the ground to help her.

Ignoring the pain in his head, John leaned over and moved her hands from the injury site. She was bleeding heavily and from what he could tell, whatever stabbed her seemed to still be stuck there.

John reached over and pulled the pack closer, looking for extra field dressing. After a few moments he finally found it and set to work. Anderson was barely conscious by then. "Hey, stay with me, Lieutenant, that's an order!"

"Yes, Sir!" she replied drowsily.

"Tell me about yourself, Taylor."

"Friends call me Tay, Sir."

John smiled as he cleaned the wound. "All right, Tay. What do you like to do for fun? Well, besides saving wayward colonels from a watery grave."

"Besides that?" she asked with a chuckle. "I love martial arts and I love to karaoke."

"Karaoke, huh? I've been meaning to tell Elizabeth that we should set up a karaoke machine in the rec room. I think it'd be good for morale. What do you think, Tay?"

She nodded, gasping. "Sounds like fun, Colonel."

Taylor was about to drift off again. "Hey now, what did I say?"

"Sorry, Sir," she replied. "Um... may I ask you a personal question?"

John normally didn't discuss personal things with the people under his command, hell, he didn't discuss them with his friends, but for some reason he felt he could trust Taylor. "Yeah, go ahead."

"On that planet... the one with Michael and those Wraith. Do you think we did the right thing?"

Of all the questions, that was one John was expecting. He took a deep breath, trying to come up with a response. Did he fell they did the right thing? What right did they have to decide that the Wraith should be human?

That was just it, wasn't it? They had a right to survive. A right to not live in fear of being culled by the Wraith. However, the Wraith had a right to the same. Humans were not the only ones with rights.

"I guess it'll depend on your point of view, right? I mean... we're just trying to survive here. Same goes for the Wraith. They can't help that their food source is every last one of us, but we can't sit idly by while they destroy the human race, ya know?"

John squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of dizziness washed over him. "Colonel?"

"I'm good."

Taylor shook her head. "You have a concussion, don't you?"

"Don't worry about me, Tay, you've got enough to worry about."

"Colonel..."

Before he could reply, his radio came to life. "Sheppard here. We've been better. See you in a few."

"Tay," John said, looking back down at her. Her face was unnaturally white and she had lost consciousness. "No!" he said when he checked her pulse. John immediately began CPR.

Once the Jumper landed Carson and his team quickly followed Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney. Everyone stopped in their tracks when they saw the two lying on the ground.

"Lets get moving, people!" Carson exclaimed. He did quick triage and looked up sadly at Major Lorne. "Lieutenant Anderson is dead, Major. Lets get her back as soon as possible."

"Yeah, Doc," Lorne replied as he and his team set to work.

Carson was relieved to find John with a pulse. "Colonel," he said, checking his vitals.

"Is he all right, Carson?" Rodney asked.

"Aye, he'll be fine. He has a slight concussion, though, and he's going to have one helluva headache when he wakes up. Lets get him back to Atlantis."

* * *

Elizabeth found John sitting quietly in bed staring at the dog tags in his hand. Lieutenant Anderson had been relatively new to Atlantis but she had made many friends. The young woman was definitely a force to be reckoned with according to Major Braxton.

"She was too damn young, Elizabeth."

"I know, John."

He sighed, looking up. "She saved me."

Elizabeth could hear the guilt in his voice. "She was doing her job, John. Not unlike you. Sometimes it's worse for the people left behind because deep down they feel as though they could have done something differently. Trust me when I say everyone on this expedition feels the same way when you risk your life for us."

"Yeah, I understand. Um, don't suppose you'd mind if I took a couple of days off... go back to Earth? I kind of want to be the one to tell her family."

"Of course, John," she replied. Elizabeth noted how tired he was. "Why don't you get some rest?"

John nodded as she smiled and headed to the door. "Elizabeth!"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime, John."


	54. Irresistible

Title: John's Plan or Rodney's Not So Brilliant Idea

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Carson made certain everyone was still busy hanging out with Lucius before going back down to see John. The poor guy had a serious cold that wouldn't leave him alone and he was just stunned. Carson also had a feeling John wasn't taking his medicine either.

The physician was happy to note that there were no guards. He was, however, disappointed to see John lying on the bench looking quite flushed. "Colonel?"

John slowly sat up, coughing horribly. "Hey, Doc," he said, "how are you feeling?"

"Much better than you apparently. I'm sorry about what happened. I fell into that trap and look at the mess I made."

"It wasn't your fault, Carson."

Carson smiled. "Aye. So what's the plan?"

John outlined the plan for giving Lucius the antidote as well as everyone else in the city. After that was complete, they would head to Lucius' planet and start distributing it to them.

Carson noticed that John's coloring seemed to have gotten worse. In fact, he looked almost gray. "Colonel?"

"I guess I'm still feeling some of the effects of the stunner," he replied, sitting back down. "I'll be fine in a minute."

"Are you sure?" Carson asked. He hated leaving his friend alone without anyway to call for help, but their entire plan to save everyone wouldn't work if he remained there with John.

"Yeah. You'd better go, though. They'll probably be down to check on me soon and you need to give someone an injection," John replied.

By the time John landed Jumper One, he felt even worse than before. He hid it as best he could in front of Lucius but all he wanted to do right now was curl into a ball and fall asleep forever.

"Colonel?" Lucius asked. "Are you all right?"

"Damn cold," John muttered.

John ignored Lucius as he opened the back hatch. He knew they weren't going to let him go straight to his quarters, especially not with the way he probably looked. He still felt a slight tingle from the stunner weapon and he felt shaky and tired.

Oh, and he hadn't taken any of the medication Carson gave him since the physician came back with his new friend.

When he stepped out of the Jumper, five people were standing before him looking rather embarrassed. John was going to have to give them a hard time about this. However, that was going to have to wait because the minute Carson saw John's appearance, he was taken right to the infirmary.

Carson shook his head after he checked John over. "Everything's out of whack. I really wish Ronon didn't stun you though. Do you still have a tingling sensation in your extremities?"

"Not as bad as earlier," John replied. "I just feel exhausted."

"Rest now," Carson replied. "I'll be back to check on you in an hour."

John nodded, closing his eyes only to open them a few seconds later. "What about those people on Lucius' planet?"

Carson patted his arm. "Don't worry about them right now. We're going to make certain they've been given the antidote. Once we're finished, if you're feeling up to it, you can go check on them."

"K, Doc. Thanks," he said, drifting off to sleep.

The next morning John was feeling much better. He was still a bit tired, but Carson was going to allow him to take a trip through the Gate. John headed to Rodney's lab. The scientist had called him about some sort of experiment he wanted to run before they left.

"What's up, Rodney?" John asked.

"Oh nothing. Here," he said, handing John a star shaped item.

John's eyebrow raised as it began to glow. "What is this?"

Rodney didn't reply, he just kept typing aimlessly on his laptop. After about five minutes, John was getting annoyed... and feeling a bit loopy. Rodney looked up when the hum from the active Ancient device ceased.

"Sheppard..."

John smiled, looking up at his friend. "Anything you need me to do, Rodney? Your laundry? Clean your quarters?"

"My quarters could use a good cleaning. Why don't you start on that until we have to leave for Lucius' planet?"

John nodded feeling slightly disconnected from his body. Almost as if he wasn't in control. With a shrug, he headed off to Rodney's quarters. As he walked, he passed by Major Lorne.

"Colonel," he said with a nod. He felt absolutely horrible about the way they had treated him despite the fact they were under the influence of Lucius' serum. "How are you feeling?"

"Great, but I can't really talk now, gotta get to Rodney's quarters."

"Sir?"

John was about to leave when he turned back to look at Lorne. "He's a wise and kind man, isn't he Major?"

Before Lorne could reply, John had run off leaving a very confused man in his wake.

* * *

John was on his team's six as they headed back to the 'Gate. "Hey Rodney," he said, running up his friend.

"Yeah?"

"Just wanted to know if he needed anything. To rest, maybe? Massage?"

Rodney cleared his throat and shook his head as the others looked back at them. "Uh no, that's all right. I'm fine. Thanks. You could dial the 'Gate, though."

John did so and were soon reporting to Elizabeth then he asked how everyone was. "We're still fine, John," Elizabeth replied in embarrassment.

John couldn't resist. "No lingering desires? Secret longings for his touch?"

"It's embarrassing enough without you constantly reminding us, thank you," Carson said.

"All right, all right," John answered, turning to Rodney and tapping his friend. "Hey, buddy, I'd better get back and clean your quarters before the next scout."

John pats Rodney on the shoulder again and runs off down the stairs.

"Right," Rodney replied nervously, feeling all eyes on him. He quickly turns to follow John, but Teyla and Ronon move to block his path.

Elizabeth stared at him sternly. "Rodney."

Turning around, he said, "It was one teeny, tiny taste, for research purposes."

"Burn it."

"All of it," Carson added.

"Right now."

"Fine," he said, sulking, "Story of my life."

Rodney sighed when he finally arrived at his quarters. Palming the door open, he was shocked to find his friend lying on the floor. "Sheppard!"

John's pulse was rapid. "Carson, I need a med team to my quarters now!"

_"Rodney?"_

"Sheppard's unconscious."

* * *

The next morning, John woke up to a rather heated conversation. "Your carelessness almost cost Colonel Sheppard his life, Rodney! That serum had better be gone or I'll have Elizabeth come up with the least exciting job for you and you'll be doing it for a month!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Wouldn't I?"

John coughed. "He would too." The pair looked over at him. He noted Carson's red face and Rodney's pale one. "You guys all right?"

Carson's anger seemed to have deflated as he walked over to John. "Colonel, I'm very happy to see you awake. We're fine, but the real question is, how are you?"

"I feel better than I have in the last month."

"Good," Carson replied with a smile. "You had us worried for a while. Your heart rate was rapid and it took some time for us to get it down. You also had a pretty high fever."

"What caused it?"

"Your cold and being exposed to the serum," he said, looking at Rodney when said the latter.

Rodney crossed his arms. "What? Like you weren't curious!"

"Not that much," Carson replied. "I'd like to keep you another day for observation, Colonel." John nodded. "I'll have some dinner brought up."

"Thanks, Doc."

Rodney remained where he was, looking at floor, as Carson headed to his office. After a few minutes, he spoke up. "Um... sorry about the... uh..."

"I'm over it, Rodney. The only thing you better swear not to tell anyone is what I asked you on the planet."

"What did you ask me?" Rodney said.

"Good answer."


	55. Sateda

Title: I'm Good

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

"John!" Teyla exclaimed, helping him to his feet. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a little dizzy."

Teyla eyed him in concern. She wondered if he was still feeling the affects of the drugged arrow. John suddenly dropped to his knees and was sick. Teyla reached over and handed him her canteen when he was finished.

"Thanks," he replied, getting to his feet. "I feel much better now."

As they headed back to the 'gate, Teyla said, "Perhaps it would be if you remained on Atlantis while we sent a team after Ronon."

John gave her a look. She knew that look. He was going to help his friend no matter what problems he was having. Teyla would have to let Carson know about John as soon as she could.

Elizabeth joined them once they arrived back to Atlantis. Teyla pulled her aside as the 'gate dialled. "We were drugged and Colonel Sheppard seemed to have a reaction to the chemical that was used."

She looked over at John. His face was a bit on the green side. "Keep an eye on him. If the Wraith have already arrived on the planet, I don't forsee much going on there."

"I would agree," she replied.

* * *

John watched as Carson checked Ronon's vitals, asking Teyla to jot them down. Since things seemed to be under control, he headed to the front of the Jumper, sitting next to Rodney. His stomach was starting to feel queasy again.

John took a deep breath to calm his stomach and glanced over at Rodney, trying to think of something witty. "How's the pain in the ass?"

"Oh! Haha! That's hilarious! Don't quit your day job, Sheppard." Instead of reply, John threw up all over Rodney's shoes. "That is just disgusting!"

"Colonel?" he heard Carson calling his name. The physician got up from the floor to check on his other patient. Teyla told him about the reaction from the drug earlier. "Are you all right, son?"

"My stomach is in knots," John admitted.

Carson nodded. "That's to be expected. You're having a reaction to that drug. You really should have let me check you over before we left Atlantis."

"Guess so, Doc."

"If he's going to yak again, can you point him the other way?" Rodney protested.


	56. Progeny Real World

Title: Space Between

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

* * *

John had just arrived in the infirmary and looking around, noticed he was the last one to be checked out. He saw Carson in his office and headed over to him. "Hey, Doc."

"Colonel," he said, standing up. "Lets get you checked out."

John followed Carson to one of the beds and hopped up. "How's Elizabeth?" he asked.

"She'll be fine besides the bruising, of course."

"Right."

"You seem a little pale, are you feeling all right?" Carson asked, checking John's pulse.

John knew if he lied, Carson would see right through him. And knowing Rodney, he had told the physician of their encounter with the Replicators. "I have a small headache," he finally admitted. "Nothing to write home about."

"I'll be the judge of that. I'll have you know that I did a scan on your team just to be on the safe side. Who knows what kind of a damage something like that could do to you!" Carson paused a moment as the thermometer beep. "Slight temp too. It seems to me that you'll be my guest tonight, Colonel."

John sighed. "Is that really necessary, Doc?"

"Aye, it is. Lets do your scan and I'll have a nurse bring some scrubs. All you'll have to do is lie down and rest, you don't need to worry about anything else, this is just a precaution."

Almost an hour later John was startled out of his drug induced fog to a flurry of activity. His headache was still there but he pushed the pain away so he could figure out what was going on. John was about to get up when Rodney came into view.

Rodney noticed that his friend was confused so he went over to him. "What happened?" John asked.

"It's Elizabeth," Rodney replied. John noticed that his face was rather pale.

"McKay, sit down before you fall over," John suggested, pointing to a nearby chair. "Now take a deep breath and tell me what happened."

Rodney took several deep breaths and John saw that the color was coming back to his face. "She and I were discussing the mission when she said she felt really dizzy. She stood up and I went to help her and before I knew it I was guiding her to the floor so she wouldn't hurt herself. She was unconscious before I was able to ask her anything so I called for a med team."

"Do you think it has something to do with what the Replicators did to us?"

"I know it does," Rodney replied.

A few moments later Carson came up to them. "Colonel, just sit back and relax, there isn't anything you can do for her."

"What's wrong with her, Carson?" John asked, ignoring the physician's request.

"We don't know as of yet," he told them. "We're running some scans right now and hopefully we'll have some answers soon. Why don't you both get some rest? I'll contact you when I know more."

The pair nodded slowly as Carson went back to his patient. Neither of them moved or said anything for a long time.


	57. Common Ground

Title: Afterthoughts

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Nope, not mine.

* * *

"Well, Colonel," Carson said with a smile, "you're as good as new!"

John nodded as he hopped off the bed. "Thanks, Carson. Now, I'm going to shower and get something to eat."

"Aye, that sounds like a great idea."

John rushed off, happy to be out of the infirmary. When the thought came as to where he could have been, he pushed them away. Instead, he began whistling and grinning wildly at whoever passed him by in the corridors. He arrived at his quarters and proceeded to undress and headed to the shower.

He paused briefly and there was sudden flash. John fell to his knees, clutching his chest. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself as his eyes strayed to the marks the Wraith left behind. John wondered if seeing the impressions are what triggered the brief flashback.

John thought a few minutes and, with a shrug, convinced himself it would only be a one-time thing.

Once he was finished John headed down to the mess hall where he saw all his favorites were being served for dinner. Word must have spread like wildfire throughout the city for the kitchen staff to have all that prepared for him.

He had finally been able to sit down after being stopped many times when his radio beeped. "Sheppard."

_"Where are you?"_

"Doing great, Rodney, how are you?"

_"Fine,"_ he replied, oblivious to John's sarcastic comment. _"You said you were going to meet us for a movie, or did you forget?"_

John sighed. Of course he forgot. "I think I'm entitled to forget that it was Thursday and we were going to watch a movie. I'll be down in few."

* * *

"Rodney that was uncalled for."

"What?" Rodney asked.

"Colonel Sheppard has been through a lot. I would think you, of all people, would be more understanding."

"Oh, come on! He's fine! Even Carson said so." Ronon merely grunted. "You're taking her side?"

"I'm not taking any side, McKay. If you had gone through what Sheppard had, you wouldn't want people saying stuff like that."

Rodney nodded slowly. Of course he wouldn't but he just thought the best way to help his friend move on was not reminding him of it every two minutes. He shuddered as it replayed in his mind. The Wraith screaming for more, John's eyes closed tightly as it happened, but looking up defiantly at Kolya once it was done.

He doubted he would ever have courage like that. Rodney would like to think he did. Maybe at some point but right now, he would have just cowered in the corner.

"Hey, guys!" John said, pulling Rodney from his thoughts. Carson and Elizabeth were standing behind him. "I brought some snacks and two other guests."

Ronon got up from the spot on the couch to allow Elizabeth to sit next to Teyla. He then gave Rodney a look to get off so John could sit down. Before the scientist could even move, Ronon yanked him onto the floor.

"What was that for?"

"Sheppard is sitting there."

"No he's not, I was. I have a bad back, you know. Sitting on the floor--"

Carson interrupted the man's tirade. "Rodney, you'll be fine. I'd rather Colonel Sheppard sit there."

"Don't mind me," John replied with a grin and sat down.

Elizabeth shook her head. "You are such a little kid, aren't you?"

"Maybe."

About an hour into the movie, John's mind started to drift and the memory of what Kolya did to him began to resurface. His chest felt a bit tight but he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to sound like a baby.

Glancing to his right, he saw that his friends were intently watching the screen so he quietly slipped out of his seat and into the hall towards the balcony, figuring all he needed was air.

It took him a bit longer than he would have liked to get there and soon he was leaning against the rail, panting. His chest was killing him and he felt as if the Wraith were sucking the life out of him again.

John could hear his name being called but it sounded so far away and he was afraid that if he replied, it would be with his last breath. He thrashed at the arms that were trying to hold him down. That's when he felt a small prick on his shoulder and everything began to fade away into darkness.

* * *

Everything slowly came into focus, but John wasn't sure how much time had passed. He noticed that the pain he was experiencing had dissipated along with the breathing issues. John turned to face Carson when he saw the physician walking over.

"Doc?"

Carson smiled. "It's good to see you awake, Colonel."

"What happened to me?"

"To be honest," Carson said as he wrote in John's chart, "you sort of freaked out on us."

John stared at him for a moment. "I... what?"

"Well you were doing fine during most of the movie but ten minutes into it, Elizabeth noticed that you were no longer next to her. We found you on the balcony clutching your chest. You were having difficulty breathing."

Carson paused when he saw the look of confusion in the man's eyes. "Why don't I remember any of that?" John asked.

"Your mind is just blocking it because you seemed to be reliving what that Wraith did to you. I know you don't want to or maybe don't even think you need to, but you have to talk to someone about this, Colonel. I won't put you on active duty until you do."

John nodded, thinking about what Carson said. He thought he was stronger than this! How can a Wraith reduce him to a puddle on the floor? John swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. He knew how. He was afraid. It was the most horrifying way to die that he could imagine. He could definitely have lived without ever knowing how that felt!

"Colonel? John!" John blinked, shaking his head when he heard his name being called. "Bloody hell!"

He wasn't sure how long Carson had been calling his name, but it must have been a while since the physician seemed a bit pale. "I'm fine, Doc, and I agree with you," John admitted. "I don't want this to weigh on me."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Carson replied with a smile.

"Where is everyone?"

"I sent them to their quarters to rest and I'm ordering them to talk to someone as well, namely Dr. Heightmeyer. So you're definitely agreeing with me on this?"

John shook his head. "Not entirely. I'd like to do this as a group session where we can get everything out in the open. How we felt, what we thought. Although I say we take Ronon's gun away from him."

Carson was thoughtful for a few minutes. "I'll have to run it by Dr. Heightmeyer first but I'm sure that could work. She'll probably want to sit in on a few sessions, though."

"That's fine, Doc," John said, yawning.

"Well, I'll let you get some rest. The others will probably back in an hour. I'll have some dinner brought up then if you'd like."

"Yeah. Thanks."

As Carson nodded and walked away, John curled under the covers with a sigh. He would get through this with the help of his friends and vice versa. It didn't matter how long it took them, but one thing was certain according to John Sheppard, Kolya wasn't going to win.


	58. Phantoms

Title: Clearing the Fog

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

Rodney's voice kept echoing in my head over and over again and soon I could hear the words morphing into something else...

_"It's you're fault he's dead, Sheppard!"_

I sat up in my bed. I have never felt as cold in Atlantis as I do at this moment. It's like the city knows what I did and blames me as well. Holland's brother never let me get a word in. Not that I had much to say to the guy. I mean, I practically killed his brother myself!

"Okay, John, it's time to get up and moving!"

Since I couldn't sleep, I decided an early jog would help clear the fog that I felt myself floating in. I can't seem to find a way out of it and it's slowly closing around me.

About an hour later, I made my way to the balcony near my quarters. It was a bit cold, but the air felt great on my face. I could already feel the fog lifting. I moved over to the bench and sat down with a sigh and before I knew it, I was falling asleep.

_"--ard, come in! Sheppard, do you read?"_

I blinked when I realized that not only was Rodney shouting in my hear, but I was soaking wet. I think what worried me the most was that the rain hadn't even woken me up.

"I'm here, Rodney, would you stop shouting!"

_"Give us a heart attack, would you? We've been calling you for almost two hours and we have half of your Jarheads running around looking for you."_

I'm still a little stunned that I didn't hear anyone calling me. Of course, I wasn't going to say anything. "I'm heading to my quarters now, is something wrong?"

_"No, but you missed our mission briefing and we were supposed to be going off world right about now."_

Oops.

"I'll be there in 10."

I clicked off before Rodney could reply and rushed to my quarters to change. That rain water was freezing and soon found my teeth chattering. I grabbed a black long sleeve shirt and pulled it on. Once I was ready, I jogged up to the control room.

I could tell Elizabeth was about to yell at me when I entered the conference room, but she stopped and glanced over at my team. "What?"

"Are you all right, John?" Teyla asked.

"Um... yeah. Why do you ask?"

Rodney finally spoke up after a few minutes. "Well, you look kind of flushed."

Elizabeth moved closer and before I knew it, she had a hand on my forehead. I was so glad the doors were closed and no one else could see. "You have a fever, John."

"I do?"

"Perhaps it would be best if you went to the infirmary," Teyla suggested.

I nodded slowly. There was no way I was getting out of this one. Ronon stood up, took my arm, and said, "I'll make sure he goes."

Whatever was happening with me seemed to have gotten worse by the time we reached the infirmary. Ronon was practically dragging me and I kept coughing. I guess it would be good to mention the hour or so I was sleeping in the rain, huh?

"Bloody hell!" Carson exclaimed when we arrived. "Bring him over here, Ronon."

Ronon helped me to the nearest bed and that's when Carson asked what I'd been up to since I left the infirmary a day ago. "Reports, jogging, falling asleep outside..."

"What was that last one, Colonel?" he asked.

"I fell asleep outside. That was when you guys were, um, looking for me."

Ronon and Carson stared at me. Finally Carson spoke up again. "It was raining out there all that time! Did you not notice that?"

I could feel a cough billowing and let it out before I could answer. It was a almost a good five minutes before the fit stopped. I opened my eyes to see Ronon handing me a glass of water. "Thanks."

Carson was muttering that he must have missed something the first time around since I didn't wake up to Rodney shouting at me or rain pelting me. "I'm going to do a head scan while you're here," he said.

His tone offered no discussion.

I was waking up some time later when I heard Elizabeth's voice. "How's he doing, Carson?"

"He's improved much since yesterday afternoon. He's still quite congested but beyond that, his temperature is back to normal. However, I think emotionally our last mission has caused some bad memories to resurface. He woke up many times. He wouldn't tell me what the dreams were about, but I heard him talking in his sleep so I got the general idea."

"We'll just have to make him see Kate." She paused and I heard footsteps getting closer. "Right, John?"

I peered at her through one eye. "No. Well, what I mean is that this is kind of personal and since I've already talked to a psychiatrist about this, I would really rather talk to my team. The both of you too. I mean, that is, if you don't mind..."

Elizabeth smiled and Carson nodded. "That shouldn't be a problem," she said.


	59. The Return

Title: Home Sweet Home

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

* * *

It had been nearly three weeks since the expedition team had returned to Earth and no one was feeling more lost than John Sheppard. On the outside he was his normal self, but he missed his connection with Atlantis deeply.

John couldn't explain what it first felt like to enter the city and feel the overwhelming warmth envelope you, welcoming you home.

Home.

It'd been long time since he had place to truly call home. The place where he grew up was home up until the day his Mother died and even though he lived there through the rest of high school, it never felt the same again.

With Atlantis it was as if he were whole and now that piece of him had been ripped away, by the Ancients, of all people.

His mind wondered as he walked out to his requisitioned car and sat in the driver's seat. John thought what his Father and brother would say if he appeared on their doorstep. He shook his head. Somehow facing a Wraith queen seemed less scary!

And that's what made the entire situation sad, wasn't it? The only blood family he had left wanted nothing to do with him. He was so jealous when everyone, despite leaving Atlantis, began talking about seeing their loved ones and being with their families for holidays.

Not only did he not have those things, but he also had to endure life without Ronon and Teyla. Two people who he had come to trust with his life. Two people who were always there for him in one way or another. Would he ever see them again?

John had just pulled out of the parking lot when his cell phone rang. "Sheppard."

"Hello, Stranger."

"Elizabeth," he replied. "I was wondering if you were ever going to return my calls."

"I've been busy."

"Right and I've been going off world with the best team anyone could ever imagine. I've known you far too long to believe that."

Elizabeth sighed. "I suppose. Um, are you busy right now?"

"I was just going for a drive to clear my head. Maybe do a little skateboarding. Why, what's up?"

"Sounds dangerous," she said with a chuckle. "Remember the last time you went skateboarding?"

John grinned as he pulled up to a red light. "That was not my fault! I mean, how was I supposed to know Kavanagh was running simulations on that balcony. Besides, it's not like he was seriously injured!"

"No, but you nearly broke his arm!"

"Okay, enough picking on John day. So are you going to join me or what?"

"I don't know about that. I've, um, got paperwork to finish on the..."

"It doesn't matter because I'm parked in front of your apartment right now so either you come down or I will have to forcibly remove you from the premesis."

Five minutes later Elizabeth was heading towards him, shaking her head. "You are incorrigable, John Sheppard."

"That's what my Mom used to say," John replied as he opened the door for her.

"She and I would have gotten along great, I'm sure. I can only imagine hearing stories about you when you were little."

John walked around the driver's side and was seated before he answered. "Those are highly classified secrets, Dr. Weir."

Elizabeth had to admit that she never understood the appeal of skateboarding until she watched John. He seemed to do it with ease. Although it seemed that everything came naturally to John except sharing his feelings.

She had no doubts that he was feeling as lost as she was. He said it himself, she'd peak. Hell, everyone on that expedition team did. How did one go from living in the most amazing city to ever be created back to one that, although she loved, would never compare?

Elizabeth was pulled from her thoughts by a loud 'oof' sound. She stood up, intending on helping John up off the ground and teasing him when someone grabbed her arm and squeezed it tightly. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked, trying to get free from the man's grasp.

He merely grinned at her and pulled her away from John, who was lying still on the ground. Before Elizabeth could say anything else, two other men appeared and pulled John to his feet. She saw one pull something from his neck.

"Relax, Dr. Weir, he'll be fine. It's just a light sedative."

"Who are you?"

"No one for you to concern yourself with," he replied, tossing her in the back of an unmarked van. A few moments later, John was deposited next to her. "Don't try anything stupid or we'll kill Colonel Sheppard."

Elizabeth nodded nervously and cringed when they slammed the door shut. She immediately went to John's side, attempting to wake him. "John," she said.

John moaned, eyes opening half way. "Elizabeth, you okay?"

"You were just shot with a drugged dart and you're asking if I'm okay?"

"Old habits die hard, huh?"

"Well you need to stop the habit of getting kidnapped, John."

He nodded slowly as the seditive began to take a hold of him again. "Sorry," he said. "I can't protect you when I'm... I'm..."

"It's all right, John," Elizabeth replied, placing a hand on his. "Just relax. We'll both be fine."

About ten minutes later, the car came to a screeching halt and it was another five minutes before someone opened the back door. One of the men grabbed Elizabeth and pulled her. She watched in horror as the yanked John by the arm and practically dragged him out of the van.

"Be careful!" she cried.

"You are in no position to make demands, Dr. Weir," the leader said, but then turned to glare at the men who were getting John. "She's right, though, you idiots. He's no good to me unconscious or dead."

"Who are you?"

The leader smiled. "You'll learn in time, Doctor."

John woke up an hour later, tied to a chair. He glanced to his right to see Elizabeth in the a similar position only her head was resting on her chest. Fighting the nausea from the drug he was given, he took a deep breath and called her name.

Elizabeth blinked as she lifted her head. "John, are you all right?"

"Yeah except for the fact that I'm tied to a chair. Do you have any idea what's going on around here?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. The leader of the group said I would learn in time but it's been nearly an hour. I was more worried about you because they said you wouldn't be out so long."

"Don't worry about me, Elizabeth," replied. "I'm good."

Elizabeth wasn't so certain because John's face had gone from green to ashen within a matter of minutes. She was about to call him on it when the door open and the Leader entered the room, grinning.

"Sheppard," he said. "It's good to see you awake."

John glared at the man. "You'll have to forgive me for not getting up to greet you properly but I seemed to be tied to a chair. What the hell do you want, Grant?"

Elizabeth watched as a range of emotions passed over John's face as Grant moved closer to him. "I see you remember me, John. Of course you do, after all we did everything together, but that's not going to get you out of this."

"Out of what?" John asked, although he had a sinking feeling he knew.

"You're going to suffer just like she did, Sheppard," Grant growled as he swung his arm back and slammed his fist into John's stomach. Grant then left the two of them alone.

John doubled over, straining to catch his breath. "John!" Elizabeth exlaimed. "John!"

"Yeah," he gasped out. "I'm good."

"How can you be? That man just punched and threatened you." John finally looked up at her after he caught his breath and Elizabeth was surprised to see raw pain in his eyes. "John?"

"He blames me for his sister's death."

Elizabeth nodded. "What happened?"

"Grant and I were best friends in high school even though he was a year younger than me. His sister, Hannah, was a senior like me. I was kind of a loner so I didn't really date much. I secretly had a crush on Hannah so I invited her to prom."

John took a deep breath and continued. "I was bringing her back home afterwards and there was an accident. The light was green so I went but I didn't notice the car flying towards us until it was too late. The car slammed into the passenger side. Hannah didn't make it."

"Oh God," Elizabeth said. "John."

"It took me a long time to get over it," he told her. "But Grant was insisting I was drunk and my Dad used his influence to get me off. I didn't have a drop of alcohol that night and there was an eyewitness to the accident."

Elizabeth was a bit stunned at how John just completely poured out his feelings to her. He must be feeling extremely vulnerable right now, she thought to herself. John was looking at the floor now. "You can't blame yourself, John. What happened was not your fault!"

John didn't reply. If Elizabeth didn't know any better, it looked like he was giving up. She worked at the ropes binding her suddenly shouted at her friend. "JOHN!"

"Elizabeth?" he asked her in confusion. John looked around the room, realizing where he was. "I did it, didn't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"I let him get the best of me. I let him see me vulnerable. That is not going to happen again!"

John knew he was running on pure adrenalin. He knew the minute he was able to get Elizabeth to safety, he was going to fall over. After five minutes, he was able to loosen the ropes and grinned when they dropped to the floor.

John stood up, ignoring the dizziness he felt immediately, and ran to Elizabeth to help with her brinds. "Looks like you didn't really need me," he said with a grin. "You almost had it."

"John," she said, eyeing him curiously and standing. "Are you all right?"

"Lets just get out of here and then you can worry about me," he replied.

Elizabeth knew John was right, they had to get away from these people before they could worry about their physical condition. She watched as he opened the door cautiously, surprised to find it unlocked. John reached out for her hand and she grabbed it.

Soon they were making their way through the building. Elizabeth saw the exit ten feet away, but she knew it was too good to be true, and she was right. Suddenly someone yanked Elizabeth away from John and the force propelled him to the floor.

"John!"

He lay panting and any adrenaline he had was quickly ebbing away. "It was a nice attempt, John," Grant said, motioning for the Big Man to bring Elizabeth closer.

John attempted to sit up, but Grant slammed his foot down on his chest. Stars danced in John's vision as his head hit the floor. Once he regained his senses, Grant was pointing a gun at Elizabeth. "Leave her out of this," he said. "She has nothing to do with this!"

"Oh no, John, she is every much a part of this as Hannah was."

Grant nodded to the Big Man, who pulled John to his feet. The room tilted for a moment but John was able to fight it.

"Now, say goodbye to your dear Elizabeth."

However, his dear Elizabeth was prepared and was disarming Grant, knocking the man out cold in the process. Big Man was just as shocked as John but also knew he wasn't a match for an angry woman with a weapon so he ran away.

"Nice job," he said with a grin.

The grin faltered, though, as his knees gave out. Elizabeth caught him in time. "Whoa, John. We'd better get out of here and call the police. And we need to get you to a doctor."


	60. Echoes

Title:  
Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

Once things had calmed down somewhat, John headed to one of the empty quarters and sat heavily on the bed. He was exhausted and he was sweating profusely. He knew he should probably head to the infirmary, but right now, all he wanted to do was sleep.

As John laid on the bed, he could hear Rodney calling for him but he was just too weak to reach up and reply. Instead, he drifted off to sleep...

When he woke up next, he was in the infirmary, back on Atlantis. He glanced to his right to see Elizabeth sleeping soundly. He remembered Carson saying, before he left, that she would probably be there for a while because she had just gotten over an ear infection. Weird how he could remember those things but not what happened on the Daedalus after the solar flare.

John attempted to sit up, but found himself still too weak to even push himself on his own arms. "That can't be good," he muttered.

"I don't know why it is, but you always seem to end up in this place after a mission. I know you don't mean to but that has got to be a record!" Rodney exclaimed as he walked over.

"Oh, that's hilarious, McKay. Don't quit your day job, though."

Rodney shook his head. "No, if I did, this city would blow up."

"You do realize that it was my idea this time around," John replied.

"No, no, no. I did have the idea before you, I just didn't voice it because it was a stupid idea. One that, may I remind you, landed you in the infirmary... again!"

John gave him a look. "You know, my stupid idea saved your ass. You're just gonna have to get used to it."

"That's you're only saving grace cause if we all died, I would have sent Ronon after you."

John chuckled, looking behind Rodney. "He's not a dog, ya know."

Rodney didn't see the tall Satedan standing behind him. "He might as well be," Rodney replied. "Have you seen the way he eats?"

"I'm tired, go away."

"What? That's rude!"

"You call that rude," a voice grumbled from behind.

Rodney turned to face Ronon, his face a bright shade of red. "Of course, I was kidding, big guy. No hard feelings, eh?"


	61. Irresponsible

Title: The Trailing Colonel

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

* * *

As the weary team headed back to the Gate, the only sound that was heard was Rodney's whining about how long they'd been walking and how hot it was. Now to the casual observer this woudn't be a surprise but the person who would normally respond to him wasn't responding.

In fact, it seemed like John Sheppard was trailing behind everyone.

Carson looked up at Ronon. "Why don't you deal with Mr. Cheerful there and I'll check on Colonel Sheppard. Perhaps he's injured."

Ronon nodded with a grunt and reached for his stunner. Teyla placed a hand on his. "Ronon," she said, giving him a look of warning.

Certain they were fine, Carson dropped back to walk next to John. "Colonel?"

The man seemed to be on autopilot and favoring his left side. That's when Carson remembered the explosion Lucius had been in. "What's wrong, Lad?" he asked.

John finally answered after a minute. "I'm good, Carson. Just some bruising."

"You'll let me be the judge of that, if you don't mind. For some reason I can't seem to believe you."

"Yeah, Doc," John aquiesced.

Okay, now Carson was confused, but after a moment, he realized what was wrong. "Colonel, you're thinking about Kolya, aren't you?" John stopped in his tracks. "Aye, it's quite obvious. You feel guilty about killing him, don't you?"

"I do, but how can I feel guilty about killing a man who stormed Atlantis, killed two of my men and tortured me, Carson? How can I feel guilty about protecting these people from him?"

Carson allowed John to vent because God knew the man could do with getting it all out. "Colonel, having those feelings only makes you human."

"I know, Carson. I think it upsets me that Kolya wouldn't have felt this way. I almost think it's sad. You're probably the only one I'd tell this to because I don't think the others would understand. Or maybe they would but I don't know."

John paused, running a hand through his unruly hair. "For a split second I wished it had been my lying dead on the ground."

Carson was not expecting that at all. How was he going to make his friend understand that this played out exactly as it should have. Kolya would have just destroyed more lives if he had survived and Atlantis would never be the same again.

"John," he said. Saying his first name was Carson's way of showing that he was listening. He may not understand John's emotions right now but he would be there for him. "This has been an exhausting day for you. Calm down from the rush before you go barreling into those thoughts. Trust me. Everything will sort itself out."

John nodded, suddenly feeling very tired. "Yeah, Carson. Thanks.

"And remember that you have plenty of people who care about you and are here to listen." Carson noticed John wince. "Lets get you back to Atlantis and under the scanner. My instincts tell me you have some bruised ribs."

"My instincts tell me I'm just sore."

Carson smiled, shaking his head. "I'm the one with the degree in medicine, so I think we'll be going with my instincts."

John smiled inspite of the crazy emotions swirling through him. Right now he was going to return to Atlantis and revel in his friend's mothering.


	62. Tao of Rodney

Title: Returning the Favor

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Notes: First Rodney POV. I hope I did him justice!!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

I found Sheppard in the mess hall eating a late dinner. Correction, picking at a late dinner. Grabbing a cup of coffee and a peice of chocolate cake, I headed towards him. I remember the last thing I heard from him after I collapsed in his quarters. He was thinking that this was like watching his Mother die all over again.

Not to say I'm a woman, but... yeah.

Sheppard obviously didn't notice I was sitting across from him until I cleared my throat and he glanced up in surprise. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

"Not long. You finished playing with your food?" Sheppard smiled sadly as he nodded. "Are you all right? I mean, not that I'm trying to be nosy or anything but I remembered what I heard you thinking about when I was... you know..."

He nodded slowly and seemed almost afraid to say anything. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry."

"No," Sheppard replied. "I was just trying to decide if I thought it because I wanted you to know it or the situation just reminded me of it."

I smiled hopefully. This is an odd friendship thing we have going and he knows a little about my past with Jeannie so... "Maybe a little of both?"

"Yeah, maybe." Sheppard paused. "My Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was ten. She went into remission about five months later. When I turned 14, it came back with a vengeance and she went through extensive chemo.

"A few days before she died, she collapsed when I was alone in the hospital room with her. She died an hour later." Sheppard was silent a few moments before he spoke at me. "You're the first person I've told this to."

"Really?" I asked, suddenly feeling very special.

"Really. Thanks, Rodney."

"Hey, no problem. You were there for me too," I took a bite of cake. "Now, why don't you tell me about your Mom? Something tells me she kept you line."

"Oh definitely," Sheppard replied with a smile. "Definitely."


	63. The Game

Title: Introspect

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

* * *

He stood quietly on the balcony, watching as the moonlight reflected off the ocean. The nightmares that he'd been having for the last week had been keeping him awake again. All he thought about was how close they had come to annihilating two cultures.

His stomach churned and he moved over to the bench to drop his head between his knees. It bothered him how this whole situation could have been avoided if they had just read the notes the Ancient's left regarding their "Game".

He heard the door open behind him and immediately knew who was there. She's the only one to ever follow him out to this particular balcony. One of the closest friends he's ever had. Someone who believed in him when no one else did.

"John," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

John lifted his head to see the concerned look in Elizabeth's eyes. "I've been better," he admitted.

"Maybe I should get Carson. You're looking a bit pale."

"No, don't bother him. I'll be fine."

Elizabeth wasn't so sure. She had seen him like this once before and that was days after Kolya had stormed the city. John was so worried it would happen again despite all the precautions they were taking. It took him nearly two weeks to get through that.

If the SGC had known, he probably would have been sent back to Earth. It was with careful consideration that neither she nor Carson left that information out of the reports for fear of what would happen should contact had ever been made. It turned out to be a good idea on their part.

"Come on, lets go down to the mess hall and get some hot tea. That always helps me when I can't sleep." John just sat there, unmoving. "Or we can pay the night shift doctor a visit and you can be poked and prodded."

John chuckled as he stood. "No, I'm coming."

"John, I apologize for yelling at you and Rodney the way I did. I think what happened just scared me. I'm pretty certain we have powerful technology like that all over the place. This galaxy has enough problems with the Wraith for us to be screwing things up."

He nodded. "I know what you mean. We just need to pay more attention to what we're doing." John paused. "Thanks, Elizabeth. For seeking me out."

"That's what friends are for, John," she replied with a smile.


	64. The Ark

Title: Bumpy Ride

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Nope, not mine.

* * *

The minute John stepped out of the ship, he knew his knees were going to give out. His head was pounding unmercifully and he could tell he had a concussion since nausea decided to creep up on him.

"Hey, guys," he said, trying to sound non-chalant.

Ronon and Lorne were able to prevent John from face planting into the ground. Carson saw the unfocused look in his friend's eyes. "Right," he said. "Get him into the Jumper. We need to get back to Atlantis right away."

Rodney finally spoke up. "Um, I should really stay. I mean I can get started on trying to get Teyla out of there."

"I'll stay with him," Ronon replied. "Just make sure Sheppard's all right."

Carson nodded. "Will do."

Once they were situated in the Jumper, Lorne took off. After a few minutes, he glanced back at Carson. "How's he doing, Doc?"

"He's in and out... Colonel?"

"Carson?" John winced when he opened his eyes. "My head is killing me."

The physician nodded in sympathy. "Aye, son. Just relax, we should be back to Atlantis shortly."

"Where are we going?"

"Atlantis."

"Oh. That a new hospital?"

The concussion seemed to be a bit more serious than Carson thought. "No, Colonel, Atlantis is where we live, remember?"

John blinked. "Carson, I know we live in Atlantis."

"Right," Carson replied, pulling out his penlight. "Pupils are slightly dilated. On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your headache?"

John closed his eyes, wincing as pain lanced through his skull. "7, maybe an 8. It doesn't feel good, Doc."

Lorne sighed in relief when they finally made it to the Gate. Hearing his CO confused about where he was didn't sit well with him. "Atlantis, this is Lorne. Have a med team standing by in the Jumper bay."

_"Copy that, Major," _Elizabeth replied.

John was being rushed to the infirmary by the time she arrived in the bay. "Major?" she said, turning to face him. "What happened out there? I mean, I know John was planning on taking the ship to the planet."

The last thing Elizabeth wanted to hear was that they lost the contraption that held Teyla's consciousness.

"He did, Ma'am, but it must have been one helluva ride because he has a concussion and seemed very confused about where he was."

Elizabeth nodded, feeling the same concern for John she detected in Lorne's voice. "Rodney and Ronon?"

"Still on the planet. Dr. McKay is going over the data to see what he can find out. I suspect he'll need some more equipment and a science team."

"Of course. I have Dr. Zelenka put a team together."

* * *

John woke up groggy but he noticed the pounding in his head has dissipated. Glancing to his right, he saw Teyla resting peacefully. "Ah, Colonel Sheppard," Carson said. "She'll be fine in a few days. The machine just took a lot out of her. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks. When can I get out of here?"

Carson sighed, shaking his head. "Not for another 24 hours."

"Doc," John whined.

"I'll make it longer." John promptly shut his mouth. "Colonel, your concussion was more serious than I first thought. You were unresponsive for nearly 15 hours after we arrived here."

"I was in a coma?"

Carson thought back to those first few hours when he and his team had tried everything to get John to respond. There had been no signs of a coma, merely... he couldn't even hazard a guess and that scared him the most.

"Not exactly. We've never seen anything like it. To be honest, I couldn't even being to explain it to you."

"Oh," John replied.

Carson gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. We'll monitor you and if all goes well, you'll be released in the morning. I'm sure everything is fine."

John nodded, yawning. "Doc, could you let me know when Teyla wakes up?"

"Aye, that I can do, Colonel."

"Thanks," he said as he drifted off to sleep.


	65. Sunday

Title: A Scottish Memorial

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: All Atlantis characters belong to people who aren't me.

* * *

John glanced over at Rodney. He had been too quiet since the flight began. He knew his friend felt responsible for Carson's death. There were moments when he did too. So many things John could have -no should have- done flashed through his mind.

John sighed, attempting to get comfortable. They decided to avoid the whole beaming from space thing just to be on the safe side, but he wasn't used to being confind to an airplane with limited space and those clausterphobic fears from childhood resurfacing.

Again that made John turn to Rodney. The scientist was staring out the window but he did not complain about having no room or breathing in recycled air. John knew Rodney wasn't ready to talk. Hell, he wasn't either. So, instead, he put his seat back and closed his eyes.

As he slept, he began to dream...

_"Come on, what are the odds of me having the same genes as these guys?"_

_"Quite slim, actually..." Carson replied in shock when the chair activated. "Dr. Weir! Don't move!"_

**FLASH**

_"Damn it. Tell him I'll meet him halfway."_

_"Just stay put, Doc."_

_"The sooner I get this thing out of my sight, the better."_

**FLASH**

_"We just made the hand-off."_

John's eyes snapped open and he gasped out. Those were the last words he heard from Carson. "Sheppard?" Rodney asked.

"I'm fine," he lied, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from around him. "Just peachy."

John sat quietly on the porch of Carson's childhood home. The sky was gray as if ready to pour it's sadness onto the world. And John couldn't think of a more appropriate thing to do right at that moment.

His tears were quiet as he mourned the loss of not only a great man, but a great friend. John only had a select few upon arriving in Atlantis and Carson was one of the first.

He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Carson's Mother was smiling sadly at him and suddenly she was wrapping her arms around John as he cried. After about five minutes, he slowly pulled away, looking at her questioningly.

"My husband is as adept as you when it comes to hiding his pain. I felt it radiating from you the moment you stepped into my home. Carson was very selective when choosing his friends."

John nodded, still feeling quite embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Beckett. You shouldn't be the one comforting me."

Mrs. Beckett pat his arm. "Ach now, no need for apologizing, Lad, it's quite all right. Now, why don't you come inside and get cleaned up? We have a tradition in our family where everyone says a few words about the deceased and if anyone deserves this, it's my Carson."

"May I have a minute?"

"Of course," she replied, bending down to kiss his cheek. "We'll wait for you, dear."

Once Mrs. Beckett had gone inside, John stood up and leaned on the balcony, staring at the sun that was peeking through the clouds. "Goodbye, Carson."


	66. Submersion

Title: Influence

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

John's head was pounding as he lay down. Yet another Wraith Queen in his head. This probably wasn't a good thing. He squeezed his eyes tighter as another sharp pain pulsated through his skull. It seemed much worse than the other times.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that this Queen had been alone down there for so long, gathering all her strength for her next victim. Whatever the reason, it made John's stomach roll at the thought.

The thought that he could have been forced to fly the Jumper up to Atlantis so she could have her fill...

He couldn't hold it in any longer and suddenly felt hand rubbing his back in soothing circles. It immediately reminded John of when he was little and his Mom would do the same thing when he got sick.

Panting, he sat up and wiped his mouth. Teyla handed him a cool washcloth. He wasn't sure where she got it, but he was grateful. "Thanks. Sorry about that."

"You do not have to apologize, John. When I was in her mind, I saw what she did to you. What she tried to force you to do."

"Yeah," He replied, closing his eyes. "Wasn't fun."

_"John, our ride is here."_

"We'll be right up, Elizabeth." John stood, being careful not to step in his mess. He nearly keeled over at the movement, but Teyla was there to hold him steady. "Thanks."

As they headed up, John realized someone was missing. "Where's Ronon?"

"He slept for about an hour then went up. I believe he had, what do you call it? Cabin sickness?"

"Fever," John supplied. "Cabin fever."

The pair walked in silence up to the control room. John's head was still pounding and he could feel Teyla's worried glances on him ever few seconds. He'd reassure her that he would be fine but he was having trouble reassuring himself.

The feeling of her in his mind, forcing him to his knees. The complete loss of control that came with a Wraith Queen was not something he'd ever want to face again yet it seemed like it was destined to happen to him no matter what.

Suddenly John didn't know which way was up. He heard Teyla calling his name, but didn't answer until the spinning stopped and he was lying on the ground, looking up at her. "Teyla?" he asked in confusion and breathing deeply.

"Are you all right?" she asked, helping him to sit up.

John shook his head. "I... I don't know."

That was not the response Teyla was expecting. Truthfully she was waiting for 'I'm good' or 'I'll be fine'. It was a bit disconcerting to hear him reply so uncertain. "Just relax, John," she said.

"I gotta get out of here, Teyla," he replied, getting to his feet. Teyla had to grab his arms to keep him from falling over again.

"John! John, look at me!" Once he finally did, Teyla could see the fear in his eyes and the cold sweat that had broken out on his forehead. "Just relax. I will make sure you are on the first Jumper back to Atlantis."

He nodded, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

"There is no need to apologize. Do you need a moment?"

"Please," he said, leaning against the cool wall.

Teyla moved a few feet away giving him some space, but staying close enough should he collapse again. She was so lost in thought that she almost didn't hear Rodney sneak up behind her. "What is taking so long? The first Jumper just arrived and I, for one, am ready to get out of here!"

Rodney looked from Teyla then over at John, who was leaning his forehead against the wall. She shook her head when he was about to go over to his friend. "Leave him be, Rodney. We will join you in the Jumper shortly."

A few minutes after Rodney walked away, John lifted his head. The color seemed to be returning to his cheeks, but that look was still in his eyes. "Lets get off this thing, Teyla. I never want to come down here again!"

"Are you sure you're all right, John?"

"I'm good," he replied.

And that response made Teyla feel better.


	67. Vengeance

Title: More Bugs, More Problems

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.

* * *

Just as John leapt into the cockpit of the Dart, his vision blurred and everything began to spin. He took a deep breath to calm down when he heard Ronon shouting at him to hurry it up. John did so and was soon in the air.

He wasn't sure why, but it felt really hot in that Dart and it seemed like he was going to be sick. John did not relish throwing up in the confined space he was currently occupying. The feeling went away once his team was safely on the ground and he landed the ship.

And John must've been sitting in that cockpit a bit longer than he thought because, although the canopy was open, he wasn't moving and suddenly Rodney was shouting for him to get out of there.

"Coming," he replied, climbing out. Once his feet landed on solid ground, he felt the world tilt. Luckily his friends were immediately at this side. John shook his head. "Got it. Thanks, guys."

"What's wrong with you?" Rodney asked, clearly not interested in letting it go.

John shrugged. "I'm fine. Lets just get back to Atlantis."

The three exchanged glances and followed John towards the DHD. He dialed Atlantis, punched in his IDC and headed into the event horizon.

"I'm sure Michael immediately dialed elsewhere to cover his tracks."

John nodded, still feeling horrible. Elizabeth had wanted to see him before his post mission check, though. "You can count on that."

"We need to find him," Elizabeth replied. "He's already too dangerous."

"And I'm sure we're number one on his hit list," John said, leaning back in his chair.

Elizabeth could tell something was off. She noticed it the moment John returned, but she was in shock about the prospect of Michael being back and the genocide of the Teranians that she didn't even think of sending him to the infirmary first.

"John, are you all right?"

John would have waved off the question with his famous 'I'm fine' response, but he knew that something was really wrong. The dizziness, the nausea, his racing heartbeat, and now the fact that his breathing seemed hitched.

It was almost like he was having an allergic reaction to something.

"John?"

He blinked, looking up at Elizabeth. "Can you... can you help me to the infirmary?"

Elizabeth needed no encouragement as she helped John stand. She led him the quickest, least populated direction to the infirmary, though. She knew how he hated showing weakness in front of the expedition.

However, John seemed to be getting weaker and was leaning heavily on her. "Dr. Keller, it's Elizabeth. I'm on my way down with John. I think he's having an allergic reaction to something, but I don't think I can get him there on my own."

_"Understood, Dr. Weir. Where are you?"_

By the time Jennifer arrived with her team, John was practically wheezing and he was favoring his left side. "Colonel, relax, we're going to get some oxygen into you and down to the infirmary."

"K, Doc," he gasped out.

"What's wrong with your side, Colonel?" John whispered something beneath the oxygen mask, but Jennifer couldn't make it out so he moved it aside for a moment. "Colonel?"

"Damn wraith bug."

Jennifer read that report. "Crap! Lets go!" she exclaimed.

Elizabeth rushed after them, calling Rodney. "Colonel Sheppard's being brought to the infirmary."

_"What?! I knew something was wrong!"_

"Just get the others, Rodney."

_"Yeah. Be there in a minute."_

Jennifer took in her patient's sleeping form. It took her a bit longer to stabilize him than she'd like, but now that he was resting comfortable, she could ease his friend's minds. Jennifer set down John's chart and headed to the waiting area.

"How's he doing, Doc?" Ronon asked the minute Jennifer stepped into view.

"He's doing much better. It seems he had an allergic reaction to the mutated creature Michael created. The reaction was caused by the creature clawing Colonel Sheppard."

Rodney shook his head. "Wait a minute, I've head plenty of allergic reactions before and they don't normally take that long to hit someone."

"Well, this wasn't exactly a normal creature, was it, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked.

"Guess not," he replied. "Can we see him?"

Jennifer nodded. "Yes you can, but not too long. He's going to need his rest."

Elizabeth watched as the team headed over to their leader. She sat down, thinking of Carson. What would be going through his mind right now if he were there. The Teranians, John's collapse. Sometimes she wished she could be elsewhere when things like this happened because of their horrible mistakes.

She shook her head. No! Elizabeth was going to face her problems head on. She was not going to let them destroy her because most of all, she knew Carson Beckett wouldn't let it destroy him if he were alive.


	68. Search and Rescue

Title: Of Rescues and Injuries

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Once Kenan brought Sheppard's team to the nearst dart bay, Teyla glanced down at her son. "John, would you please keep him up with you? I do not know what affect something like this could have on him."

John did not hear her at first as the pain in his side was too great. He could practically hear Keller saying 'I told you so'. He blinked when she repeated his name, placing a hand on his shoulder. "John?"

"Yeah."

"The baby?"

"Oh right, of course!" John replied. "Just let me get into the cockpit."

As John climbed into the dart, Teyla realized he was injured. She would ask Rodney about that in a minute. "Kenan, would you..."

The man nodded, taking his son into his arms and followed John up the ladder. "Thank you, Sheppard. For saving my family."

John smiled, looking up at the man. "I know you would have done the same for me," he replied, accepting the child. "I'll be back to pick you guys up in a few minutes."

"Rodney, what happened to John?"

"What? Huh? Oh, well..."

Ronon interrupted. "Building collapsed on us. Sheppard was impaled by a piece of metal. He insisted on coming with us, though. You know how he is."

"I do indeed," Teyla replied with a sigh.

Twenty minutes later, the team was being beamed onto the nearest planet. Rodney headed to the 'gate while John landed the dart. The canopy was opened but he did not emerge right away.

"Perhaps John is having difficulty moving because of his injury," Teyla said.

Ronon rushed up the ladder. John was barely conscious. "Sheppard!"

"I'm up! Ronon?"

"Yeah, buddy. Can you hand me the kid? I think Teyla's getting anxious."

John nodded. "Yeah, sorry."

Ronon bent down to reach for him, but still didn't get close enough and John had to stretch. He cried out in obvious pain but managed to get the baby up safely. Ronon looked at his friend in sympathy.

"I'll be back in a minute to help you out."

Normally John would have argued and would already be pulling himself out of the seat, but right now he was just exhausted and all he wanted to do was sleep. He closed his eyes and was out by the time Ronon came back.

When John woke up he was resting comfortably on an infirmary bed. He felt a slight pull on his stomach which meant he must been on the good stuff. He glanced over at Teyla, who was sound asleep in the next bed over.

"Colonel Sheppard. Good to see you awake."

"Go ahead and say it, Doc."

Keller gave him an innocent look. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Right," John replied. "So how am I doing?"

"Now that your blood pressure and other vitals are back to normal, we're going to prep you for surgery in about 20 minutes. That rod tore some muscle so I'm going to go in and repair it. Nothing major."

John shook his head. "Really, and how long does one tend to recuperate from this not so major surgery?"

Jennifer reached into her pocket and handed John his PDA... she had to soften this blow somehow.. "Rodney brought this for you while you were sleeping."

"Doc."

"Three to six weeks, Colonel," she replied.

"What? Are you serious?"

"'Fraid so. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get changed so we can get started."

John watched as she rushed out of the room. He really couldn't blame her for the recovery time, but he decided he was going to be up and about within three weeks because there was no way in hell he was going to sit on his ass for that long!


	69. The Seed

Title: Only In Pegasus

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

* * *

John had to say that only in the Pegasus Galaxy would he ever be stabbed in the stomach twich within the last month and half. He had just come back to duty from his stab wound from a falling building and now this!

He could feel the tendril (he had to say that because the other word made him think of bad anime) squirming into his chest and near his cracked rib from the 'oh so gentle' Jumper crash about ten minutes ago.

The squirming finally stopped and he realized that it was dead. He only hoped Keller wasn't.

_"Colonel Sheppard, what's your status?"_

Peachy, John thought sarcastically.

_"Colonel Sheppard?"_

John winced, realizing he should answer Woolsey. "Wha...? I've been better."

_"What happened?"_, the man asked, clearly concerned.

John was getting weaker by the second, but he managed to gasp out, "You'd better come get us."

He heard Carson and several others trying to gain his attention but he couldn't reply because the pain was too great. He glanced down to see blood pooling around him on the floor. "Too much..." he whispered, not entirely sure who he was talking to. "Tired..."

As John awaited the rescue team, Ronon was waking. Coughing, he stood up and looked around the room. He was happy to note that the tendrils were now lying still. Ronon got to his feet and was heading over to Jennifer when he saw a form on the floor.

He immediately recognized the unkempt hair. "Sheppard!"

"Right... here... buddy."

He nodded, turning on his radio. "This is Ronon. We need med team up here."

_"We're on our way!"_ Came Carson's winded reply. _"How's Dr. Keller doing?"_

"As far as I can tell she's alive but unconscious. I'm more worried about Sheppard, though," he said.

Rodney answered before Carson could. _"What happened and how bad is it?"_

"As I said... Rodney... I've... been better."

"We're busy, McKay," Ronon replid.

John nodded to Ronon as he prepared to cut off as much as the tendril protruding into John's body. Whatever pain he felt early could not compare with what he was feeling the moment Ronon cut the tendril.

He weakly looked up at his friend. "I think... that was a... bad... bad idea."

"Hurry it up, Doc," Ronon said as John lost consciousness.

John wasn't sure how long it was since he had his second surgery. He had been waking intermittently through the last few days. According to Carson when Ronon cut the tendril, it secreted a toxin.

Luckily the toxin wasn't life threatening. The worse thing he had was a fever of 102 degrees and now it seemed to be tapering off. It looked like he was going to be off duty for yet another three weeks or so, though.

"Hey Rodney," John said as his friend headed towards him.

"You feeling better?" Rodney asked. "You look better."

"I am, thanks. How's Keller doing?"

Rodney pointed to a corner of the room that was curtained off. "Carson just brought her out of isolation and said she's gonna be fine. What I want to know is how in the hell do you get stabbed so soon after coming from being off duty for the same reason?"

"Only in Pegasus, Rodney."


	70. Broken Ties

Title: Pain Is Relative

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimer: Not mine

John sat on the bed quietly awaiting Dr. Cole to start his post mission check up. His knee and head were now throbbing from the beating he had taken. John chalked the delay up to good old fashioned adrenaline because he hadn't felt any pain until the Jumper had taken off.

John had been so lost in thought that he didn't hear Dr. Cole approach. White hot pain erupted from the pressure she put on his knee to get his attention. "Shit!" he cried out.

"Sorry, Colonel," she replied, looking genuinely contrite. "You spaced out on me for a minute."

He nodded, taking deep breaths to allow the pain to pass. "Damn that hurts."

"How did that happen?" Dr. Cole asked.

John winced as she began poking at his injury. "I was kind of knocked onto my knees from behind. Hurt like hell but then I had other things on my mind like trying to keep from having a Wraith feed on me."

"It doesn't look like you tore any ligaments, but we'll get you under the scanner anyway."

An hour later John headed to the observation room where Jennifer was watching Ronon. He knew Dr. Cole told him to take it easy, but Ronon was his friend and John was going to see him through this.

He sat down, hiding a wince from Jennifer. He knew she'd send him right back to the infirmary if she so much as suspected he wasn't taking pain medicine. John figured he could handle it.

"Colonel," Jennifer said. "I just spoke with Dr. Cole. She told me that sprain. I expect you keep off it."

"Got it, Doc," John replied, distractedly. She could tell he was watching his friend through the observation deck.

John was so lost in thought that he mustn't have heard Woolsey come into the room. "What kind of a time frame for recovery are we looking at?" he asked.

"It's impossible to predict," Jennifer replied. "He has so much of the enzyme running through him that his body can hardly process it. When it eventually does, that's when he'll come down."

"Let me go!" Ronon exclaimed furiously.

John grimaced at the vehamence in his friend's voice.

"Sheppard!"

"And he'll come down hard," Jennifer finished.

John stood up, ignoring the pain emanating from his knee. "I'm gonna talk to him."

Five minutes later John is standing outside the observation area. He winced at Ronon's shouting. "Sheppard! You kill me or set me free! Sheppard!"

John had no idea this would hit him so hard. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut and he wasn't even the one in withdrawal. Realizing that the guards were wondering if their CO was going to flip out, John took a deep breath and headed back up to the observation room.

Teyla took a deep breath as she entered the room. She had finally gotten Torrin to sleep and wanted to check on her friends. Plural because it seemed that John was still there at the window. He was sleeping, but he was still there.

She noticed that his sore knee was at an odd angle. When he woke up, he was certainly going to feel that. Teyla moved another chair over and lifted John's leg onto it.

John stirred when he felt his leg being lifted. Blinking he looked up to see Teyla. "Thanks," he said.

The pair turn back to Ronon, watching helplessly as he screams in agony. "Kill me, please! Please, kill me!"

Teyla turned and closed her eyes. She prayed to the Ancestors that Ronon's pain would end soon. She opened her eyes again when she heard a chair being moved. "John, you should not be standing."

"I'm fine," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "I just need to get some air before my shift starts down there."

John headed down to the nearest balcony and took a deep breath. He almost didn't see Rodney sitting in the corner. "Hey," he said.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be in the isolation room?"

Rodney nodded. "Yeah, but Keller needed to do her thing and I... needed to get out for a minute. I know, sounds kind of wimpy doesn't it? It's not like Ronon can..."

"It's all right, Rodney. That's why I'm out here too."

"Oh."

John moved to sit next to his friend. "Keller keeps bugging me to take pain pills."

Rodney eyed John as if he were crazy. "And you're not?!" he exclaimed. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"If Ronon can't have any, why should I?"

"Sheppard you're an idiot! I doubt Ronon would deny himself pain meds just because one of us couldn't have any!"

Rodney stood, grabbing John's arm. "McKay," he warned.

"You're going to the infirmary to take the pills or I will kick your ass myself. It's not like you can run very far."

John glared at Rodney, but knew he was right. What was he really trying to prove anyway? That he was alive? That he would do anything for Ronon and the others? He hoped it was pretty obvious.


	71. The Daedalus Variations

Title: Letters From an Alternate Life

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

I glanced over at Rodney as I removed the EVA suit. Seemed like he was having a rough time of it with his injured shoulder. I moved to help him, but suddenly everything was spinning and I dropped to the floor.

"I got him," Ronon said as Teyla nodded and went to help Rodney. "You okay?"

I nodded as I tried to calm the nausea I was feeling. Wow I felt really exhausted but knew I wasn't as bad off as Rodney. He had been shot by one of those nasty weapons, which I forgot to grab.

"Rodney?"

The scientist hissed as Teyla cleaned his wound. "Ouch! What? I'm in an inordinate amount of pain here plus I am tired and hungry so leave me alone!"

"Got it," I replied with a chuckle.

A griping Mckay is a happy McKay. Ironic, huh?

Once Teyla finished with Rodney, she sat down. I noticed that she seemed to look as tired as I felt. It had to be all that radiation from the jump around the sun. Ronon looked ready to pounce five more of those Borg-like aliens, though.

"We there yet?" I asked Lorne.

"Almost there, Sir. You guys gonna need a medical team to meet us in the Jumper Bay?"

I nodded. "Looks like it."

After a 24 hour observation period, Dr. Keller allowed Teyla and I leave the infirmary. The first thing I did was head to the mess hall. After I ate a huge piece of chocolate cake, I swung by my quarters for my Nintendo DS. I promised Rodney I'd sit with him a bit.

I was playing an intense game of Tetris when Rodney's voice interrupted my concentration. "Sheppard!"

"Damn it, McKay!"

"Sorry," he muttered, clearly not. "Want to know about the other you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Apparently we all wrote a letter to someone important in our lives. I guess it we were hoping they'd get back to them."

I shook my head. "No chance now if you took it from the ship."

"Guess not," he replied, looking almost sad. "So... wanna read yours?"

I wasn't sure about this. What if there's something in there that my alternate self did that I wish I could have done? Guess there was only one way to find out... "Give it to me."

_'To my dear Elizabeth and Kylie,  
Words cannot express what I want to say to you both right now. My heart aches that I will never hold either of you in my arms again._

_Elizabeth, you are my rock and you were always there for me. You stood up for me and by me. I love you with all my heart._

_Kylie, my sweet daughter. You know Daddy loves you, right? I'm sorry that I won't be there to watch you grow up. I know you'll be as beautiful as your Mommy._

_To all my friends, you guys have been great. I cannot thank you all enough. Please take care of my family.'_

I didn't realize I was crying until a teardrop hit the tablet. "You okay?" Rodney asked as I handed it back to him.

"Yeah. I mean, I will be. Be right back."

I rushed to the bathroom and washed my face. I couldn't believe it! Elizabeth had survived the Replicator attack and he was married to her. They even had a daughter.

I hadn't thought about marriage since I was with Nancy. I had felt something a bit more than friendship for my version of Elizabeth, but nothing that would amount to marriage.

However now that I think about it, maybe it had. "I guess I'll never know," I said aloud, looking up at myself in the mirror. "And I guess little Kylie will have to live without a Father."

When I finally came out of the bathroom, McKay was still engrossed in the tablet. "Did you read it?"

"Yeah," Rodney replied. "Sorry about that. I read mine and I thought... Yeah, bad idea. I think I'll stick to the science."

"Good idea."


	72. Ghost In the Machine

Title: Would Have

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not Mine.

I stood at the door to Carson's apartment. I told Woolsey I didn't think an e-mail about what happened with Elizabeth would be the best idea. I personally wanted to tell him about this. He agreed but told me I would be going alone.

Rodney was going through as much as the Ancient system as he could to make sure Koracen didn't leave any nasty surprises behind. Teyla was spending time with Kanaan and Torin on the Athosian homeworld, and Ronon joined Lorne on a mission.

I took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Carson smiled. I knew the person in front of me wasn't the real Carson but that didn't make this man any less. He looked like him, sounded like him. To me, he was Carson.

"John," he said. "Come on in."

"What, Doc?" I asked when I saw him giving me a look.

"Are you all right? You seem a might pale."

I nodded ignoring the headache I had. "I've been better. Let's have a seat, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Before we do, I should let my Mum know you're here," he replied. "If I get to chatting with you and she finds you here, she'll be upset with me."

"Sure, Carson," I said with a smile.

As he went to get her, I sat down feeling very exhausted and wincing as the pounding in my head increased. I love Mrs. Beckett. She reminds me so much of my Mom. I stood back up when she came into the room, hiding the fact that I was attacked by a wave of dizziness.

Who the hell was I kidding? I'm trying to fool a doctor who's known me for three years and a Scottish Mother who could probably tell a lie no matter how small it was. "John!" Carson was saying, making me sit down again.

"I'm fine, Carson."

Carson wasn't having any of it and asked his Mom to grab his medical kit. "You keep one here?" I asked.

"Aye, for just such an occasion."

I blinked and looked up at Carson. "What's going on, Doc?"

"You tell me, Son. What happened to you when Koracen escaped?"

"What?" I exclaimed, standing up. Carson grabbed my arms to stop me. "Let me go! I gotta go after him!"

I could tell Carson was worried. "Just calm down, John," he said. "We're going to head to the SGC to get you an MRI."

"MRI?"

He nodded. "I think you may have a subdural hematoma. That's when there is an increase in pressure that happens when blood collects in the space between the skull and the brain. The bleeding is usually caused by torn veins in the brain following a head injury."

"Oh."

"You know how something like that can happen?"

I looked everywhere by at Carson. "Koracen sort of... threw me into a wall. I hit my head pretty hard. Not enough to knock me out though. Why? I've felt fine since then."

"Despite the headache you've been trying to hide from me?"

Damn, he's good, I thought.

"Guess so. But how come this didn't show up sooner?"

Carson took a deep breath as he lead me to the front door. His Mom was on the other side of me. "Sometimes, if the bleeding is minimal, symptoms may not develop for days. Even after the bleeding has stopped and the blood has clotted, fluid from surrounding tissues can be absorbed into the space, slowly increasing the pressure within the skull."

This sounded pretty serious. "For heaven sakes, Carson!" Mrs. Beckett exclaimed. "Don't give the young man a heart attack. Lets just get him to a hospital and let the scans make that determination."

"Does she know...?"

"No," Carson whispered. "But she does know I work for the government and she has been to Cheyenne Mountain before."

I paused just outside the door. I could feel the pressure in my head squeezing tightly and darkness began to filter in the edges of my eyes. "Carson..."

I woke up to the familiar sounds of monitors beeping. I glanced to my left to see Carson sitting in the chair next to me fast asleep. "Colonel."

"Dr. Lam."

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thanks. I'm guessing all that increasing pressure went as planned."

Dr. Lam nodded. "That it did. Dr. Beckett has been here all night. It's amazing that... well, you know."

"Yeah, I do."

"Everything looks good, Colonel," Lam said with a smile. "Is there anything you need?"

"Maybe something to eat?"

"I'll see about getting you something. Be back soon."

Once she was gone I looked back at Carson. I still haven't told him what happened. I guess it will just have to wait until he woke up. I sighed as I adjusted the bed. I can't believe we had to lose Elizabeth again. And I know it was her! I just know it! I think deep down I knew all along, but the track record we have with Replicators... well...

"Colonel?"

"Carson. How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough, I think."

I reached up to wipe the tear that had fallen. I didn't even notice. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize, Son. After all, General Landry gave me your report to read. He said that was the reason you came out to see me. I appreciate it and would rather you have told me than having you pass out in my living room."

I chuckled. "Yeah."

"I know that this is difficult to take in, but remember that Elizabeth and your original Carson understood what they had to do to save you all. I speak as Carson, of course. I would have done the same and we all know you would have too."

"I would have."


	73. The Shrine

Title: Of Friends and Reassurances

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not Mine.

Notes: It's kind of short, but I hope you enjoy it. Carson's back in the next episode so I thought I'd bring him back again. There's mention of the previous tag in here. :)

There was complete silence as Carson was beamed into the Gateroom. He had heard about what happened with Rodney when the Apollo first entered the Pegasus Galaxy.

Sitting on that ship and waiting to see his friend made Carson jumpy and moody. He was ready to snap at someone and the first innocent bystander (who was only trying to greet his friend) was John Sheppard.

"What in the bloody hell did you let happen this time, Colonel?"

John paused, staring at Carson instead of reaching his hand out to shake the Scot's hand. "Um..."

"I'm sorry, John," Carson said with a sigh, running his hand through his hair. "It's been a long flight."

"It's all right, Doc. I understand. I'll bring you to see Rodney."

John led Carson through the halls of Atlantis and was pleased, if not stunned, at the greetings he was receiving. Even though he was just a clone, everyone seemed to welcome him with open arms and he greatly appreciated it.

He noticed that John wasn't his usual self. Receiving the information about Rodney second hand wasn't the same as actually being there. All he knew was that his friend slowly lost his memories and any knowledge that was in his mind.

Carson recognized the signs of shock. And he wasn't talking about the physical kind. He reached out to grab John's arm. "Hold on a minute. I need to get my bearings," Carson said, turning in the direction of the nearest balcony.

Once they were outside, Carson turned to face John. He had that same look when he arrived at Carson's apartment on Earth. When he had to tell him about Elizabeth.

"What happened, John?"

John took a deep breath and explained what happened. Carson could hear the emotion in his voice and understood why the man looked like he was in shock. Carson knew he would have been too.

"I'm sorry, Carson."

"For what?"

"That you had to find out about this from someone else."

Carson shook his head. "I hardly think that's your fault. Wasn't I on ship between galaxies when this happened?"

"Guess so."

"Right," Carson nodded. "I'll get the more technical end of it from Jennifer, no doubt. Come on, lets go visit Rodney. And John, don't worry. I'm sure our resident genius will be fine. After all he has friends like you."


	74. Whispers

Title: Resurfacing Memories

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

John slowly followed Carson to the infirmary. He was completely wiped out and losing another person was not helping his energy at all. Alicia Vega may have been new to the expedition, but John had known her before her arrival in Atlantis.

He had been best friends with her older brother growing up. Neil Vega was killed in a car accident when they were 18. Alicia had been 10 at the time and she looked up to John as a brother when Neil died.

John was sure Neil was going to come after him because John had failed to do just that. Again. Yes, he knew he couldn't save everyone. John Sheppard was painfully aware of that, but that never stopped him from caring. It never stopped him from blaming himself.

He was on autopilot as he sat on one of the beds and allowed a nurse to take his vitals. John was surprised to find Dr. Keller standing in front of him, patting his cheek. "Colonel," she said, her voice filled with concern.

John was even more surprised to find he was lying down. "Doc?"

"I was finishing up with Carson when Lucy came to find me. She said you were unresponsive for almost ten minutes. After that, you kind of fell to the side so she came to get me."

His thoughts were still muddled and he had no idea why. And now his side was killing him. John looked up at Jennifer again, but this time he didn't hear any sound coming out of her mouth. Instead, he drifted into oblivion again...

_"Alicia?"_

_She smiled, looking up at him. "Hi John!"_

_John glanced down at the ground. Telling her this wasn't going to be very easy, but it had to be done. She was the only one who was important to him in this entire city. "Alicia, I have to talk to you about something."_

_"Sure!" she replied, sitting on the porch stoop._

_Despite how John was feeling, he had to smile too. Alicia was very mature for her 12 years and although she took the death of her brother hard, she decided she was going to live every moment for him._

_Alicia took his hand, concern in her brown eyes. "John? What's wrong?"_

_"I... I'm going away," he whispered._

_"What? No! You can't John! Not yet!"_

_He nodded. "Believe me; I don't really have a choice in the matter. I joined the Air Force, remember? I have to go."_

_"You had a choice, John!" Alicia replied, pulling her hand away. "Remember! You signed up for it! I hate you! I hate you!"_

_Before John could say a word she rushed into her house. Feeling utterly defeated from, not only the rejection from his own family, but from Alicia too, John grabbed his duffle and never looked back._

_"You promised, John. When I lay dying on that street, you promised!"_

_John blinked. "Neil? What... I mean...?"_

_"You promised you would protect Alicia when I couldn't!"_

_"I did, Neil! I swear I did!"_

_Neil just glared at him. "How is sending her to that planet protecting her!!" Before John could even move, he morphed into one the zombies from the planet and charged passed him screaming._

_John turned in time to see the zombie slamming into Alicia and soon she was dead. "Nooo!" he cried, trying to rush towards her._

Strong arms were holding him down as he struggled and when he finally opened his eyes and stopped moving, he saw he was in the infirmary and Carson was holding him down. "Doc?"

"Aye, Colonel. You're safe now. Just relax."

John took a deep breath as he attempted to calm is breathing and heart rate. "What the hell just happened?"

"Remember we were all thinking there had to be something in that mist." At John's nod, he continued. "It has hallucinogenic properties, but it seemed to work best in you because of how strong the ATA gene is your body. While I did have an episode earlier, it seems to have left my blood stream entirely."

Jennifer joined them as Carson finished. "Colonel, how are you feeling?"

"All right, I guess."

"Since you're awake now, I want to do a scan of your side. You've got pretty nasty bruise over there," she said.

"It's just some bruised ribs, Doc, I'll be fine," he replied with a wave of his hand.

She merely smirked. "I think I'll be the judge of that, Colonel. We'll get the machine up and running and be back to get you in a few."

Once Jennifer was gone, John looked over at Carson to see the man staring at him with a worried expression on his face. "What's up, Carson?"

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yeah. It's not like I've never had bruised ribs before."

Carson sighed. "That's not what I'm talking about, John."

John found a spot on wall across from him as he pretended to not know what Carson was talking about. That dream started off real but then turned into a nightmare. He remembered how heartbroken Alicia was when left for basic training.

He remembered how he decided never to write to her for fear of hurting her again. John hadn't seen her since that day and when he saw her name on the list of candidates to come to Atlantis, he readily approved her.

When Alicia stepped into Atlantis for the first time, he was the first person her eyes found and they sparkled like he remembered. They merely greeted each other as captain and colonel but once everyone was settled, he personally showed her to her quarters where they apologized to one another and began to reminisce about days gone by.

That was only two weeks ago. Alicia had come back into his life only to be ripped away from him again. He was cursed, that was the only explanation for it. It all started with his Mom and trickled from Afghanistan to Atlantis.

"Colonel?" He was pulled from his thoughts by Carson's concerned voice.

"I was just thinking about... Alicia."

Carson nodded. "Captain Vega. I barely new her. She arrived not too long ago, right?"

"Yeah."

"Did you know her well?"

John swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I was her brother's best friend. We were pretty much inseparable since he died in a car accident."

"I am so sorry. I had no idea you knew her."

He shrugged. "We didn't tell anyone."

Just then Jennifer arrived. "Ready, Colonel?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," he replied.

Carson helped him out of bed. "You know, I think there's still a bottle of scotch hidden in my quarters. What do you say we take care of it once you're better and before I leave? We can drink to Captain Vega and you can tell me all about her. It will be our little tribute to her."

John smiled. "Thanks, Carson."


	75. The Queen

Title: Cracked, Not Bruised

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

John left the infirmary with the pack of Tylenol he snagged from one of the nurses. He figured he'd be in bed asleep by the time Keller tried to find him. He merely had a few bruised ribs from slamming into the Jumper's console after the shockwave of the exploding hive ship.

Right now all he wanted to do was lie down in bed and drift to sleep. A small smile appeared on his face as he neared his room. The thought of his comfortable bed and a pillow to match was the best idea he had in a long time.

As he turned the corner, however, he was not expecting Ronon to come careening into him from the other side. Before either could react, John felt the familiar sensation of ribs cracking as he fell to the floor.

"Damn it!" he cursed.

"You okay?" Ronon asked, pulling John to his feet.

John cried out and bent, protecting his ribs. "Oh that is so not good."

"You had bruised ribs didn't you?" Ronon asked.

"Maybe," John gasped up, straightening as best as he could.

Teyla woke up an hour after John left her to find him sleeping in the bed next to hers. She saw Ronon lounging in the chair and caught his eye. "What happened to him?"

"Slammed into the Jumper console," Ronon replied, then explained how it happened. "His ribs were bruised, but I ran into him in the hall... literally. Ended up cracking the ribs."

She winced in sympathy. She had been on the receiving end of cracked ribs before and knew they were not fun. "He will be all right, though?"

"Doc said he will be. She just told him to rest and yelled at him for charming a nurse into giving him Tylenol without her knowing about it."

"She did not yell at me," John said groggily. "And besides, how can anyone get rest around here with the two of you jabbering on."

Before either could respond, Rodney came rushing in, holding a tablet. "Oh good, you're all here! You've go to check this out! There maybe an Ancient outpost on M1X543. We should probably check it out. There probably won't be anything, but you never know..."

"Rodney."

"What?" he asked Teyla.

"Visiting hours are over!" Jennifer said, walking over. "Colonel Sheppard and Teyla need their rest. Lets go."

Now Rodney was confused. "What? What did you do now, Sheppard?"

"Cracked ribs."

"I knew it! I knew you hit the console harder than you admitted!"

Jennifer gave him a look. "And you didn't tell me?"

"Me? Why do I have to be the one to tell you?" he asked. "It's his ribs! Besides, he can kick my ass!"

"He's not the only one," she replied, walking away.


	76. Tracker

Title: In Good Hands

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

The first thing I noticed was the pain coming from the back of my head. I groaned and opened my eyes. That's when I see a head floating above me. "Doc?"

"Oh thank God!" she exclaimed. "It's taken you a lot longer than I'd like for you to wake up."

I avoid nodding because I know that just wouldn't feel very good. Instead I close my eyes and take a deep breath, tyring to remember what happened. Coming up with nothing, I open my eyes again to ask Jennifer.

"Seems like neither of us saw that the metal up there was warped. I tried to grab you, but you dropped so fast, I barely had time to react."

The memory of falling and feeling like a cartoon character for a split second was now resurfacing. Although I didn't come away unscathed like a cartoon character. "Are you all right?" I asked, not seeing any bruises or blood on Jennifer.

"I sprained my knee when I hit the floor, hence the reason I haven't attempted to get help. That and the fact that my radio broke and yours is MIA."

This time I nodded and moved to sit up. One of us had to try and find a way out of here. Rodney was going to be the one hurting after a forced sparing session with Ronon. After all, he was the reason Jennifer and I were heading out into this section of the city.

"Whoa, Colonel!" Jennifer said. "You may not have injured your legs, but you may have a concussion. You need to rest."

"I'll be fine, Doc. Give me ten minutes, if I can't find a way out for us, I'll come back and we can wait for Rodney to realize we never arrived."

She eyed me skeptically, but finally nodded in agreement. I stood up, giving her a shaky smile and trying to hide the fact that I'm nauseous and everything is spinning out of control.

I turned away and closed my eyes. Once everything settled, I headed to the perimeter of the room to find some sort of doorway. Every so often I would glance back at Jennifer to let her know I was all right.

She was quiet as I moved around the room. I remembered the first post mission check up with her. It was odd not to have Carson there. In fact, I just felt uncomfortable around her. Not so much that she's a woman, but that I felt like I was betraying Carson.

After that I wasn't sure she was qualified to be CMO. How would she be in a crisis? Elizabeth told me of Jennifer's doubts and how could I not doubt her myself after hearing that?

And the Replicators attacked and I saw first hand how Jennifer Keller, MD, handled a crisis. Grant it I would rather have not had a crisis. Especially that one, but she did everything she could to help Elizabeth and in the end she did.

There were stories of her adventure with Teyla to New Athos. Some people said she had been too much of a cry baby. They didn't think she could handle herself off world.

I remembered the first time I went off world. Attacked by the Wraith. If I didn't have to worry about anyone else on that mission, I would have been scared shit-less. Well, I was, I just hid it well.

Reading Sam's report I saw how inventive she was and that she still kept cool under pressure despite Rodney's ability to freak not only himself out, but others as well.

Another wave of dizziness erupted and I reached out for the wall. Once I regained my senses, I continued my search for a door or some way to contact the control room. I turned when Jennifer called me.

"Yeah, Doc?"

"I saw that. I've given you 15 minutes instead of 10, now come over here before you collapse."

I sighed and headed back over, sitting next to her. Jennifer is definitely a doctor you don't want to mess with even though a lot of people thought she was replacing Carson. No one could ever replace Carson. Jennifer became who she is on her own.

After the last mission with the other Runner, I realized just how for Jennifer had come from that uncertain doctor who had been thrust into the CMO position. She was a no nonsense kind of woman and she earned her bravery stripes just like everyone did on this expedition.

"Sheppard!"

"Down here, Rodney!" I replied.

My head decided it was going to double in pain and shouting back at Rodney didn't really help the situation. Jennifer had me lie down and told me to rest. I felt her hand on my forehead as I drifted off knowing I was in good hands.


	77. First Contact The Lost Tribe

Title: Missed One Rating: G Author: MacGateFan Disclaimers: Not mine.

Notes: This is my first fic written in 2nd person POV. I've been seeing it a lot lately so I decided to give it a try.

You stand up, wincing. In the heat of the battle you don't realize how sore you are until the adrenaline rush dies down. You ask for the restroom -wherever the hell it is on this ship- and head there.

You notice that your left side under your ribcage is on fire. Removing your tac vest and lifting your shirt, you find a nice slice from glass that is, apparently still there along with some bruising. How you and the Doc missed that before, you'll never know but it was really starting to throb in pain.

Figuring you'll get it taken care of when you get back to Atlantis, you shrug your vest back on and go out to join Katana on the bridge.

You arrive on Atlantis an hour later and as you head to the infirmary after your debriefing, you realize that you have a fever and you're feeling extremely dizzy. One word comes to mind: infection.

You know you're not going to make it without any help so you swallow your pride and call the one person who will not make fun of you. Call it an understanding...

"Ronon, could you meet me just outside the Gateroom?" you ask.

_"On my way."_

You aren't sure how long you've been standing there ready to keel over when Ronon arrives. However you are kind of surprised no one has said anything to you. Or maybe they did and you replied with your usual 'I'm fine' so they shrugged it off.

Whatever. Lying in bed sounded like an excellent idea.

Dr. Keller's soft voice greets you as you enter with Ronon half dragging you. You'll be embarrassed by that later. Right now you just want to sleep. Of course, the Doc's not gonna let you do that until you answer some questions first.

Damn physicians!

"Found another injury we both missed," you tell her as Ronon helps you into one of the nice, comfy beds. You're not sure, but you swear your speech is slurred.

You open your eyes a crack and see her frown as she lifts up your shirt. "Damn it," Keller curses.

You don't know whether to be shocked or amused by her language. "S'okay, Doc, it happens. I'm just gonna sleep now, ok?"

"Just let us get you into some scrubs, Colonel," she responds with a smile. "You'll be more comfortable and then we'll remove the glass."

"K."

That's the last coherent memory you have until you wake up again. Apparently you've been out of it for a day and half. But that's okay, the glass and infection are gone now and you'll be up and about in no time.

Well, according to you. 


	78. Outsiders

Title: Of Alien Rivers and Uncooperative Colonels

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John made his way through the darkness, pausing at the noise behind him. Looking around, he took cover behind the tall tree next to him. Peering around one side, he was surprised when he was yanked from the other.

Nice job, John, he thought to himself. Knowing Ronon would have picked on him endlessly for letting someone getting the drop on him.

John's arm was pulled behind him hard. "Just a friend of Jervis."

Before John could even say a word, he was flying through the air and into the river with a splash. The water was freezing and tasted like dead fish. Luckily he was able to surface fairly quickly.

John coughed as he swam to shore and pulling himself out. His friend seemed to have disappeared. Glancing at his watch, John realized he had to get back to the others quickly.

"Damn JervASS!" he muttered, running back to the cave.

**************

Carson was passing one of the corridors near his quarters when he heard some heavy duty coughing. He headed in that direction to find John holding his chest and practically coughing up a lung.

"Colonel!" he said, rushing to his friend's side.

After a few minutes, John's coughing eased and he stood up. Carson could see that his eyes were bright with fever and his skin was clammy. "Would you believe me if I told you I was heading to the infirmary?" John asked.

"Not in the slightest, Colonel," Carson replied, taking John by the arm. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Since last night," John admitted.

"This happened off world, didn't it? Teyla said you seemed to be soaking wet when you returned to the cave."

John nodded knowing it'd be wouldn't do him any good to lie about it. "One of Jervis' friends tossed me into the river. It was freezing. I'm half surprised no one said I smelled like fish."

"Colonel," Carson said with a sigh as the entered the infirmary. "When you're tossed into an alien river, could you please let someone know? One can only imagine what's been festering in there."

Instead of replying, John began coughing again. It took him a good five minutes before he was finished. "Damn," he groaned, clutching his ribs again.

"Lets get you settled, Colonel. You'll feel better once you're in bed and the nurses are taking care of you."

Carson chuckled at John's grin. "Yes, nurses. Bring 'em on, Doc!"


	79. Inquisition

Title: Tortured Soul

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John woke up to water splashing in his face. He blinked looking around in confusion. He was no longer in the cell with his team. "What the hell is going on?" he asked the tall man before him.

Talls just grinned producing a small vile from behind his back. John glanced at the brownish liquid the shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though!"

Talls' grin grew wider as he opened the vile, moving menacingly closer to John. Unfortunately he was tied to the chair so the only thing he could do was close his mouth.

Talls held John's nose and poured the foul tasting liquid down his throat. He almost gagged on it but Talls forced John to swallow it by clamping the man's mouth and nose shut.

A few minutes later the room began to spin and John couldn't tell which way was up. The powerbar he had eaten earlier threatened to make an appearance. John took a deep breath to quell the nausea.

When he opened his eyes, John gasped. Even though the figure in the doorway was lost in the shadows, he knew perfectly well what was standing there and it scared the shit out him... It was a Wraith.

John squirmed in his seat as Talls ripped his shirt open and the Wraith was suddenly standing before him, hand poised to suck the life out of him. His heart thundered in his chest because he knew this time he wasn't getting out of it.

He screamed as the hand descended on his chest and the Wraith began to feed. John was in agony but he couldn't pull away. As his eyes slipped closed, John was sad he wouldn't be able to see his friends again.

John was surprised that he came to. He was even more surprised he was back in the same cell as the others, who were now waking up. _Must've been gassed again,_ he thought. He moved to sit up but was rewarded with a tilt of the room.

Deciding it would be better to stay seated, he closed his eyes so the others would think he was waking up with them. No need to worry them with the awful nightmare he seemed to have had.

"Ugh," Rodney muttered. "Again? What is it with these people and gassing us? I swear that stuff better not be toxic!"

John opened his eyes because he knew the others would say something if he didn't. He only hoped his face didn't betray the fact that he felt like shit. Maybe Rodney was right, maybe the gas was toxic.

"I am sure we will be fine, Rodney," Teyla said.

Before Rodney could come back with a witty reply, the cell door was open and Woolsey entered looking quite pleased with himself.

*************

After the check up in the infirmary (with Keller taking blood work because of the gas they inhaled twice), John headed to his quarters. He was exhausted and felt like his head was disconnected from his body.

John knew he shouldn't have had that cigar with Woolsey because now his brain was going to explode out of his head. He plopped onto his bed without so much as removing one piece of clothing and immediately drifted off to sleep.

His dreams were about as disjointed as you could get. One minute a Wraith was feeding off him and the next... the next minute he was standing face to face with Elizabeth.

Gone was the gentle look he had known for the past three years. Instead all he saw was anger and it seemed to be directed at him. "Elizabeth...?"

"It's your fault, John! Why couldn't you have trusted me? Believed in me? I did all those years ago when O'Neill and all the brass complained that you didn't follow orders. That you only got other people killed in some self-destructive phase because you felt you needed to prove something to them!"

John shook his head. "No! That's not... you're not Elizabeth! You can't be! She would never say that!"

"Wouldn't I, John?" she asked with a smirk. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Lie."

"I'm not lying to myself! Elizabeth understood what I did. She understood me!"

Not Elizabeth chuckled as she moved closer to him. She was suddenly squeezing the crap out of his arm and laughed again as John clenched his teeth in pain. "She never understood you, Sheppard, but you will understand her."

John screamed as she plunged her Replicator hand into his forehead. The pain was 100 times more intense than the last time he had that done to him. For a split second he wondered why but then there was a bright flash.

"He's not responding!"

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

That was Rodney.

"Rodney, you're going to have to move out of the way!"

Keller.

"Shouldn't you sedate him or something? Whatever is going on it's killing him!"

Ronon.

"I can't sedate him because I'm still trying to figure out what he was given. We don't need anaphalaxis added to his list of problems."

No, John thought, they did not.

And suddenly darkness consumed him.

*************

John woke up tiredly and glanced around the infirmary. He turned to his left when he heard clothing rustling and soon he was face to face with Teyla. She opened her eyes when she sensed him looking at her.

"John," she said, standing and taking his hand. "It is so good to see you awake."

"It's good to be awake. What the hell happened to me?"

"We were hoping you could tell us," Teyla replied. "From what Dr. Keller could figure out, you were given some kind of hallucinogen in addition to the gas. When did this happen?"

John glanced up at the ceiling, purposely avoiding Teyla's gaze. He should have told everyone what happened, but he didn't think it was necessary to have them worry. Now, of course, it seems they had to regardless.

He sighed before beginning his story. "After we were gassed a second time, I was taken to another cell where this really tall guy forced some kind of liquid down my throat. Soon I was hallucinating that a Wraith was feeding off me. It fell so damn real that I must've..."

"What, John?" Teyla asked, worry etched on her face.

"I must've passed out. I came to again in that cell just before Woolsey came back to tell us we were free to go."

Teyla shook her head. "Why did you not say something?"

"To be honest, I just thought maybe I was coming down with something. And we were getting out of there, I didn't want to go accusing people of things when there was no way to prove it. I didn't want to add anymore fuel to the fire either."

"And when you came in for your post mission check?"

"Okay I should've said something then." She gave him a look. "Definitely. Damn, Teyla, poor little Torrin isn't going have a chance with that glare."


	80. The Prodigal

Title: Atlantis' Future

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

I squint up at Teyla, who was now staring longingly down to where Michael had fallen. I want to comfort her but I really don't know how. Even though I know we were responsible for what he had become, I still want the bastard dead. Especially after what he had done to Teyla and what he tried to do to Torrin.

Damn, my head really hurts. I try to focus on Teyla who is now kneeling beside me in an attempt to get me to my feet. I want to tell her that it's just not happening because my brain doesn't seem to want to communicate with my mouth.

"John!" she says sternly.

We're gonna have to let Torrin know what happens when Mom gets that look in her eyes. It usually means she's gonna get what she wants.

I blink and gasp out, "I'm up."

"Good," she replies, helping me to my feet.

Dear Lord in heaven every bone in my body wants to cry out in pain as I attempt to stand up. I can feel the bruised ribs and pray that any movement doesn't make them any worse.

My left wrist is definitely sprained and my knee feels like it's on fire from one of Michael's well placed kicks. And don't even get me started on my head! I swear I'm seeing two of Teyla.

Speaking of my head, a blinding flash of pain erupts in my skull and despite the throbbing in my knee, I'm dropping to the floor. Teyla guides me down as nausea hits me. I can feel her hand on my back but I can't really understand her because the pain in my head is just too great.

I know I'm about to lose consciousness and again Teyla saves me from face planting directly into my mess. I mutter a thank you as I drift away from the pain.

****************

As I drift in and out of consciousness I hear snatches of conversations. From Carson telling visitors how I'm doing, nurses checking vitals, Rodney moaning at me for waking up sometime this century, and Torrin cooing while visiting with his Mom.

After days of that, I was finally awake and sitting up listening to Rodney drone on and on about wanting a rematch of our car race. I readily agree but wonder where Teyla is.

"Hello! Earth to Sheppard!"

"What?" I growl as Rodney waved his hand in front of my face.

"I think maybe I'd better get Carson," Rodney says. "You're spacing out on me."

I smirk. "Is that any different than when I'm well, Rodney?"

Before he could respond Teyla appeared with Torrin. "I'll leave you two alone."

"What was that about?"

"I have no clue," Teyla says. "He has been... walking on egg shells around me."

I nod at Teyla's correct use of the Earth phrase and in understanding. Rodney probably didn't know what to say to her about the mess with Michael. Teyla may be relieved that Michael was dead but the fact that she had killed him was most likely not sitting well with her.

Especially not after Michael had gravitated towards her when we first created him.

Teyla was suddenly handing Torrin to me. I accepted him and any reservations I had about Michael being dead went out the window. Torrin was Atlantis' future and he needed to protected at all costs.

"Teyla."

"I know, John. He's our future."


	81. Remnants

Title: Sleeplessness=Not So Great Dreams

Rating: PG

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John sat up in his bed, eyes wide and breathing heavily. He just wanted to smack that damn AI. He hadn't had dreams of Kolya coming to kill him or his teammates in the last year and now he was experiencing it for the third day in a row since it left.

He hadn't told anyone of his sleepless nights but he knew it was going to catch up with him. He was just glad his team was on leave. Woolsey thought that it would be best for each team to have three days off within their rotation barring any emergencies of course.

Since he knew sleep wasn't coming back, he jumped in the shower and got dressed. John was feeling decidedly sore this morning so he decided to skip his jog. As he headed to the mess hall, John's head started pounding and his stomach felt as if someone had kicked it multiple times.

Soon he was dropping to the floor. John closed his eyes in an attempt to squeeze the pain in his head away. He suddenly began to cough and opened his eyes when he felt something dripping from his mouth.

"Blood?"

Shakily he reached up to key his radio. "This is Dr. Keller."

"Doc," he gasped out.

"Colonel? Are you all right?"

"Don't think so. Not sure what the hell is happening. Feel like I've been beat to a pulp."

He listened as she barked orders to her staff. "Where are you now?"

"A few steps from my quarters. Don't think I can get up."

"Just relax, Colonel. We're on our way. What's your pain level?"

John couldn't respond because he was starring at his wrists. His hands were still there but they were bleeding heavily. His heart was beating wildly in his chest. He was just imagining this... right?

"Colonel!"

John blinked, looking up at Keller. "Doc, help me." He noticed that she gave him a once over but didn't move. "Doc?"

"Relax, Colonel, there's nothing wrong."

Okay John was really confused now because he was bleeding all over the damn floor and he hurt like hell but Keller was telling him he wasn't injured at all. He screamed when she touched his wrist and it fell into the crimson puddle.

"John!"

John opened his eyes to the familiar sight of the infirmary. He saw that he was sitting up in the bed, Teyla's hand on his wrist. "What the hell?"

"Colonel are you all right?" Jennifer asked running over to him. "Your vitals were all over the place."

"What happened to me?"

Teyla helped him to lie back down as she explained. "You haven't been sleeping well in the past week. I convinced you to see Dr. Keller and she was able to prescribe something for you."

Jennifer nodded, continuing. "The pills only seemed to heighten your dreams instead of allowing you a peaceful rest. Do you remember what you dreamed about?"

"Uh... I'd rather not talk about it," John replied. "I'm still a bit tired, though."

"I thought as much. I'm not going to give you anything else, though. Just take it easy, Colonel."

John smiled. "Thanks, Doc."

Once the pair was alone, Teyla spoke up again. "You said you felt like you had been beaten but we so no signs of injury on you."

Before John could reply Rodney and Ronon came over to them. "It's about time!" Rodney exclaimed. "I thought Ronon was going to have to punch you awake."

"Rodney."

"What? Right. Sorry. So I guess the next time you're having trouble sleeping you'll let Jennifer know."

"Like you would."

"I'm just saying..."

John yawned. "How about you go away so I can sleep some more."

Teyla was going to remain and find out what John had meant by his earlier comment, but before Rodney could even turn to leave, John was out. "Sleep well, my friend," she said.


	82. Brain Storm

Title: Attack of the Not So Killer Flu Bug

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John glanced over at Ronon as they walked through the 'gate. "It's not that funny," he insisted.

"Yeah it is."

If looks could kill, Ronon Dex would be dead right now. John was pissed just thinking about it. Their camping trip, for the most part, had been a relaxing experience. Something they definitely needed.

That is until the rain started on their way back to the 'gate (after the Jumper had refused to initialize) and John slipped falling into the biggest mud puddle ever. Luckily the rain seemed to have washed off any trace of the mud, but now all he wanted to do was take a hot shower.

Of course the first thing he was going to have to do was make a stop at the infirmary. If he didn't have Ronon steering him towards there, John would have skipped it for the shower first.

"Note to self: remember that this is the time of year for monsoon season on M1X545," he muttered.

Keller wasn't back yet from Earth so Susan Cole came up to him. "Colonel."

"Doc."

The next morning John was heading to his quarters after his jog around the city with Ronon. He didn't admit it to the Satedan but he felt as if death warmed over. If his friend did notice it, he didn't mention it to John.

He took a deep breath as he went into the bathroom for a shower. His stomach was already rebelling against the coffee had earlier and suddenly John was kneeling over the toilet.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but it had to be a good 15 minutes. John slowly stood up and went to the sink to rinse out the taste in his mouth. Once he finished, he grabbed a pair of sweatpants and shirt then headed up to the infirmary.

Dr. Cole had just sat down with her coffee when John came into the room. "Colonel!" she said, rushing over to him.

Instead of responding John cried out, bending over and clutching his stomach. He could vaguely hear Susan bark orders to her staff as he was lifted and placed onto a bed.

"Doc!" he gasped out.

He felt hands lift him and something thrust under his mouth as he became sick again. After what seemed like an eternity, John ceased and he was able to lie down. The stomach cramps seemed to have calmed down.

"Just relax, Colonel," Susan said, placing a hand on his forehead. "It looks like you have a stomach flu. Probably from falling in that mess of a mud puddle yesterday. I've given you something to calm the nausea and cramps and I'll be giving you fluids to keep you hydrated.

"K."

She smiled. "You'll be good as new in no time."

"I hope so," he replied as sleep was claiming him, "cause I feel like shit right now."

************

The next time John woke he was in quarantine. Teyla was standing outside the area speaking to one of the nurses. She must have sensed his eyes were on her so she turned to look at him.

"John," she said over the intercom. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit tired. Hungry, but afraid to eat anything. How long have I been in here?"

"You do not remember?"

He shook his head. "Not really. The last thing I remember was coming from the camping trip with Ronon. Then there are flashes of being sick and horrible cramps, but beyond that..."

"Nearly two weeks."

"What?"

"Dr. Cole called it a stomach flu. I do not remember the scientific name for it, though," Teyla said. "She said you most likely picked it up from your surfing planet. She is also suggesting we avoid that planet in the future."

"Aww. That planet had some sweet waves, but I know better than to tempt fate. One bout of this flu was enough for me! Any word on McKay?" Teyla seemed to want to be anywhere by there at the moment. "Teyla?"

Teyla held her hand up as the nurse returned. With a nod she entered the room. "According to the tests they just performed you are no longer infected. Dr. Cole will be here shortly to talk to you."

"And you're going to talk to me now, right?"

"I am, John. According to Mr. Woolsey, a scientist friend of Rodney's used a matter bridge to attempt to control the weather on Earth."

"Wait," John said. "You mean that thing that sent Rod here?"

Teyla nodded. "Yes and it nearly took your planet with it. Luckily Rodney and Dr. Keller were able to stop it. They are both well and the Daedalus is on it's way."

John attempted to stifle a yawn then moved to get comfortable. He winced at the pull in his stomach muscles. "So they tell you how civilian scientists were able to get a hold of Rodney and Jeanne's work?"

"John, you will be able to read the report later," Teyla said as Dr. Cole made her way to them. "For now you must rest."

Dr. Cole smiled as she entered the room. "I couldn't give any better advice than that, Colonel," she said as she began to check his vitals. "Would like something to eat before or do want to wait?"

As if on cue, John's stomach growled. He looked up at the women, face red. "Um, maybe a little something to eat first?"

"I'll send someone down for some broth for now," she replied.

Teyla spoke up. "I will go."

"Thanks, Teyla," John replied. "So Doc, how much longer do I need to be cooped up in here."

"At least another few days, Colonel. You are seriously dehydrated despite our best efforts to deal with that via IV. I'd say you would drop to the ground if I let you out of this bed right now."

"Doc."

"I know you'd rather be in your own quarters, but for next few days you will follow my rules, is that understood?"

John eyed her warily. "Were you a drill sergeant in another life?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

John chuckled as she left the room and settled into bed. He knew Teyla was coming soon with his food but his exhausted body seemed to want sleep more. Soon he had drifted off to dreamland.


	83. Infection

Title: Stray Bullets

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

John stirred when he felt someone poking at his shoulder and pain erupted from a wound there. Damn, why did that hurt like hell? he asked himself.

Blinking his eyes open, he realized why when he turned to look to the left. His shoulder was bleeding and Keller was trying to see what was wrong with it. "Doc, damn!"

"Sorry, Colonel," she said. "But it seems as if the bullet is lodged near your shoulder blade."

"What? I was shot?"

Keller stared down at him in concern idly hearing Rodney say that rescue Jumpers were on the way. "You don't remember?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so. Did I hit my head?"

She nodded. "Twice, pretty hard I'd say. You have a concussion which wasn't so bad after the first knock you took, but when we landed..."

"Wait! First knock? I only remember the second."

"Sir," Lorne said, speaking up. "You must've hit your head when that Wraith attacked you." He paused. "And I must've hit you with a bullet by accident. Sorry."

John winced as Keller continued to poke his wound then waved off Lorne. "It's all good. Ya got that thing off me, right?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"Then don't worry about it." John looked up at him. "Just don't make a habit out of it."

"No, Sir!" Lorne replied with a chuckle.

"Rescue jumpers have arrived," Rodney said, joining them.

"Everything okay, Rodney?"

The scientist shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why wouldn't be? I mean we're only about to sink into the ocean. No big deal."

John smirked. "We're all good then."

*************

"Rodney I am sure Colonel Sheppard will want to eat his dinner when he wakes up."

"If he were awake I'd be inclined to agree with you, Teyla," he replied. "However he isn't and according to Jennifer won't wake up for a bit because of the pain meds he's on from being shot. Besides I highly think he can do me much damage when he's so out of it."

John peeked out from one of his eyelids. "Just try me, Rodney."

"Sheppard!" he exclaimed.

"Don't shout so loud," John said.

"John, you don't look so well."

John stared at Teyla in disbelief. "Well that's a nice thing to say to someone who's been injured." He was silent for a moment and realized he didn't feel so well either. Pain was emanating from his shoulder and felt as if he were going to be sick.

"Rodney, get Dr. Keller."

Rodney looked up from his jell-o. "What? Oh!"

"Colonel?" Jennifer called, rushing over to him. She immediately noticed his skin pallor. "What's the level of your pain right now?"

John squeezed his eyes shut. "At least an eight."

"What?" She was a bit surprised he admitted it was that high. She looked up at the nurse who had just joined her. "Suzy, lets get some meds for him. Colonel?"

"Yeah, Doc," John replied, opening his eyes. "Sorry about that. The pain seems to come in waves."

"It's understandable. The bullet nicked one of your nerves. You're just lucky it didn't cause any further damage or you'd be out of commission for six months. As it is I'll be keeping you here for another week."

"Another week?"

"Do you really want to go for more, Colonel?" She asked. "You're team needs you in top form when you go off world."

Teyla nodded, stepping forward. "That we do, John."

"Yeah," Rodney replied. "Who else is going to be the dartboard for our enemies."

"Rodney!" Teyla admonished.

"What?"

"Just get him out of here," John said. "Please."


	84. Indentity

Title: Light Conversation

Rating: G

Author: MacGateFan

Disclaimers: Not mine.

* * *

Once the debriefing was over I headed to the infirmary to check on Radek. I found Carson at his computer. "Heya, Doc."

"Ah, Colonel. What can I do for you?"

"Just checking on Radek. I heard he was awake. How's he doing?"

Carson smiled. "He's doing much better now. He could use a bit of company, though. I think with everyone so busy lately he hasn't really had much of a guest list."

I nodded to Carson and made my way over, waving to Keller as I passed. Radek looked up from the book he was reading. "Colonel," he said in surprise.

"Hey. Just wanted to see how you were feeling. You kind of freaked us out there for a minute."

"I freaked myself out. Now I know how you felt and personally I wouldn't have cared to know."

I winced remembering how it felt to be stabbed in the stomach.... two times in a row no less. "Yeah, not something that I would wish on anyone either."

"I hear Dr. Keller is back to normal then."

"Yeah. Some kind of consciousness transference thingy. I'm sure Rodney could explain it better."

Radek chuckled. "I think I understand what you are saying, Colonel. And I think you know a lot more about what Rodney and I are talking about then you let on. Why is that?"

"I noticed that you both like to teach. Well, maybe not Rodney so much. Besides I don't know everything and while I may understand some of the things you're saying, it usually takes me a bit longer to work it out."

He nodded. "Yes, I do love teaching. Rodney mentioned that you took the MENSA test."

"Yeah, I did long time ago," I replied. Luckily Radek didn't pursue the line of questioning. "So, I should probably let you get some rest."

"I am a bit tired."

"Later!"

"Thanks for visiting, Colonel."

"Anytime."


End file.
